Archive for August, 2013

I Think of You

To write another word
And write another line
And write another verse
To write another poem.

I don’t think I can hold beauty inside a box
It would be unfair to the way I look into your eyes
With you I want to turn off the city lights
I want your natural glow to shine across the way.

I don’t want to write words I want to mouth
I don’t have a need to type down if I can speak out loud
You said it better, actions speak louder
And if by now, I haven’t proven the way I feel for you
Well, then, I don’t think I can’t find a better form.

So I write another word
To add to another line
To complete another verse
And finish another poem.

I don’t think I can retain this inside a sheet
It would be unfair to the way you make my heart beat
With you I want to run to a faraway place
A place where you and I both can love indefinitely.

I don’t want to write a story I have to end
I don’t have the need to dream about what I’m already living
You make me better, by your love alone
And if by now, I haven’t proven how grateful and in I am
Well, then, I don’t think I can truly picture it for you.

I wrote all of these words
I wrote all of these lines
And wrote all of the verses
To write down this poem
So you can know that I still feel beautiful things when I think of you.

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The Truth of Life

Your most heavy thoughts will occupy your mind
You most tearing fears will shake your trust side to side
The events of your past will dictate your love for another
The scars in your heart will truncate your chances for happiness.

The things you hold in your hands will soon be dropped with disappointment
The feelings you have in heart will soon be poisoned by the confusion
All the things you once thought loved and wanted to give your life for
Are all the things you want now gone, dead, forgotten and deeply buried.

If you go along with the script you will end up with a sad ending
Dare to be hurt, to be different, and move on in your life again
The things that they do and they say are already written on paper
Everyone’s so afraid of forgetting their lines, and then having to improvise them.

The things you were taught will soon come to be a complete lie
The fears that they put in you will soon come to be your ruling masters
So you shelter your heart with an armor of indifference
And set your mind to believe that everyone’s there to abuse your confidence.

Once you turn on the defense system, it doesn’t seem to be a way to turn it off again
So whoever comes across it, mostly in bad days, they will have their share of the blitz
All of the people that you’ve hurt in order to protect yourself, at times seems contradictory
Who is to say that they haven’t been doing the same with you all this time as well?

If you play by their rules, you’ll end up despising yourself in due time
Dare to open up, to be exposed, and move on with your head up high with pride
The things that they’ll do, you already know them, for they are simple repetitions
Don’t be afraid of being yourself, don’t be ashamed of giving to others what others haven’t ever given you.

Don’t give it up
And don’t give in
And don’t give up
In the way that you’re living…

The truth of life lies in the ones who dare to make the difference
Against all odds, all of the weather, whatever might rain down on them
So do you want to win your own recognition or be just another number on the list?
The biggest reward is to realize you’re not helping in the demise of this world that is already bending downhill.

Inspired on a movie… And some relationships...

Wrists Slitting Love

Obsessively in love with you
Come hurt me but you love me
You say don’t want to be around
But that’s because you don’t know the real me.

You know, I’ve changed
I’m not the one you used to know
I’m more in touch and compassionate
Maybe you should give me another chance.

You know, I always think of you
I cannot take you off my mind
All I want is to be with you
I want to give us a second try.

All this time we’ve been away
It has helped me to reflect
I’m reading the books you recommended
I’m taking my meds daily.

If you could only read this letter
If I could only see you one more time
Just give me a moment please
To prove to you I’m a changed man.

We cannot end this marriage
We cannot throw it all in the waste can
You have to push it even further
You have to, don’t you understand?

You know all I’m doing here is for you
Is for you that I live, that I am
Without your love, there would be no meaning
So will you give me another chance to be your man?

Don’t look the other way!
Is there somebody else waiting for you?
Is it that guy again?
You know what?! Fuck this! We’re through…

Wait a minute!
I’m sorry…
Give me another chance…
I truly am a changed man…

2004

I’m hurting myself again
Cause I could not find a way for these happy thoughts to drive away all the awful feelings I have inside
It’s like cutting on my flesh again
I need to shed these tears in order to feel like I’m healing while breaking into a million pieces and scattering.

I’m comfortable in my own head
But I’m not comfortable in my own skin
Or is it backwards? I don’t remember
Sometimes I feel like I just can’t fit in.

This is the song I love the most
The one we used to sing along when we were in love
Now it’s taunting, haunting, creeping around every wound
How can something so beautiful turn into such a painful implement?

In the eyes of another I will look now at you
While in stare of hate you will be at me
It’s okay, we couldn’t find another way to deal with our fears
This wall we lifted, will forever remain, and that’s the conclusion of this discussion here.

Familiar Spirit

A familiar spirit is in this room
You can sense it when you breathe
Not even the sheets and curtains can disguise it
The four wall madness follow its destination.

Ghostly awful feeling crawling up my spine
It’s like everything’s topping up and rails out of line
And these hands can just do as much
But what to do when things are as such?

The dreams locked down in the back of my head
Reveal to me the things that I tend to forget
Is it a safe thing to let go and move on?
Or am I another monster denying its own truth?

I can’t be at ease with whatever is broken
Just because I dust it under the rug again
Not even this confession can fix all that is bent
Not even my hands can keep safe what I tried to hold together.

If there was a pill that could clean all the stains off of my life
If there was a drug that could glue it all back again
If there was a way that I could fix all that I have broken up
If my tears were enough to convince the people I hurt how sorry I am.

It’s not okay and I don’t think it will ever be
To walk around with a scarlet knife and a smile on my face
Don’t drive me to that place where I hurt like I’m hurting
I don’t want another example of the consequences of the events I myself began and continue pressing upon endlessly.

I dedicate this somebody…

The Art of Feeling

These are four ghosts haunting
Memories of the people once living
Reminder of death’s powerful force
Truncating all smiles when it absorbs.

If I am to die, I want to die quick
Enough of this slow suffering
Weight upon hearts left behind
To feel desperately abandoned.

Death is not my friend
And it will never be
It only leaves pain
To the self that still bleeds.

Death was the end
But your story haven’t concluded yet
Enough with the lies
It should only vanish for those who bring hurt.

Add one ghost, two I won’t see coming
How am I to let go when they’re still living?
Mourning for the people I cannot touch
Going riddling rounds for those I cannot reach.

Enter Whatever Title You Think Fits Best

Empty room full of thoughts
I stumble across the ghosts
One by one by one by one
A mountain of issues I hide under the rug.

Death seems such a warm friend
Hugging me tight, whispering “let it go”
I’ve spent many nights with the knife
My lover carving through my skin, tasting my blood.

And you, my angel, my crazy paradise, my hope
How do you come to love me, when you know how broken I am?
How much will your love last until you finally get bored?
I hope it last forever, cause I need you more than I’ve let you know.