Archive for November, 2013

Holy Heart - Holy World

The Action of Love
 
Your beautiful smile brought heavens to its knees
And the angels, how they adore, your beautiful glow
But I’m from earth, I was seeded and planted here
And you’re quite a few milometers away from my reach.
 
This is the peace pact between the creator and me
You were made to pacify my anger, to fill up my love-need
All that I wanted was someone to hold close, to hold tight
To speak words of love every day, every time I’m able to.
 
Your beautiful arms are reaching back to heavens
I love how the Father responds to your every need
And me, a clay-made man wishes to part of your life
You’re the beautiful song that helps me sleep peacefully.
 
Between Jesus and you, I can sometimes sense you physically
You’re the metamorphosis of a holy love that was created in omnipotence
Of an omnivident God who knew that it would come a day
That I would need you even more than I need my life itself.
 
Come home, come home holy grace, holy love
Come and fill me like you used to, once
Lead me home, oh, holy grace, lead me home
Come and fill with your grace and your holiness.
 
You’re love in action; you’re the action of love
Breed and raised by love, you breathe love
Praise the creator of all that’s beautiful and soothing
You’re the living essence of all that my heart needs to feel.
 

 

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Baring My Soul
 
Laying there beside me, is my four year old son
Sleepy, ready for bed, this is the last night here with me
We say our prayers, but he knows there’s something wrong
He asked me; “Dad why are you so sad?
Is there something going on?
You know I love you and that I want to live with you”
To what I replied; “I’m sorry baby, daddy loves you too
But after tonight you can’t be with me no more.
Mommy did things I can’t explain right now
And now daddy has to leave town,
to a place far away from your brother and you.
I’m sorry; I wish it wouldn’t come to this
I really wish I could take you both with me”
He said; “I wish you’d have all the money in the world
So you can buy a plane and take us with you, and be together forever”
I just smiled and nod, hugged him tight, while inside I cried like a baby
Cause I knew that would probably the last time I’d see and hold him
He said he trusts that I would make it
But to be honest, it is so difficult
He smile at me, “we’ll see again”
I pray to God that day do come.
 
The morning of my flight, I called their mom to ask if I can see my sons before I was gone
To what she resisted, until I insisted, and she finally agreed to do so
I received my kids with goodbye gifts and begged of them to be strong
My oldest son hugged me tight and cried and begged “Daddy don’t go”
My tears; they shed, with a broken voice I said; “I have to, there’s no other choice.”
He asked his mom if he could stay a few more minutes with me
Her mom replied “no, maybe another day, probably another weekend”
He went inside the car, and that was the last time I’d see both my children.
 
I wish I could carry on with writing this poem
But it’s too hard to think about the choices I made
It’s so hard to think about what I left behind
It’s not that I regret it, but I never knew it’d hurt this much
It’s like a ghost that’s trapped inside my mind
I never could’ve imagined I would feel so lost and empty
I never thought I wouldn’t survive without my two babies
I did this for them, so can this be the thing distancing me?
I want to feel their arms holding me, hugging me
I want to be able to talk to them face to face
I want to play with them, laugh with them, help them with homework
All I have of them now are some pictures I took before leaving
And a thousand of messages I leave for them in their mother’s cellphone…
Suspended Animation
 
A cup of coffee would be fine
And we could discuss some things here
The way you look away, it’s alright
Just to think about I once did care.
 
Your heart is an eraser
Your intentions a huge shredder
Put that brick wall up
You were never good at being supportive.
 
A puppet of their parents
A mannequin of the world
You only came here to get high and horny
And I came here so I can taste your skin and pain.
 
Take back all that was never yours
Leave this place empty, even dust it off
But goddamn you for keeping me in this hour glass
The sand’s been pouring but still I’m in frozen time.
 
Hand me the axe I planned for your head
And give me the acid that spits off your soul
You kept my life trapped inside a bottle
And now you’re manipulating things deliberately.
 
Your heart is a whore
It only seeks to fit its hole with any hot rod
Call thy army forth
Your legion drunk ass fatherless junkies.
 
A leader of dimwitted clowns
How much you enjoy your circus show
You only came here to watch me burn alive
And I came here so I can drag you to hell along with me.
 
Take back all that was never yours
Leave this place bare, call upon a bulldozer
But goddamn you if I allow you to keep on winning by cheating
This hour glass has broken and now I’m finally free to even things.
Gone
 
You’re outside these lines
You are not a topic on my list to write about
Cause all I feel I want to share with you
And not make it feel like it’s a story or a metaphor.
 
Now I understand the human frailty
It is now that I understand why my father cried
I’m so desperate, wanting to carve my own skin
It’s like you’re dead, but no, you’re alive, you’re living.
 
I did this for you, rather than just to run away
You know if I go back, it will be the end of me
Either way I’m losing you, either way you’re a ghost
In my head and I wish you were here to tell you “I love you!”
 
Now I understand what’s to lose everything
It wasn’t my bed, my room, my things, my home
I float around the memories of the things that I wish
I could grasp, hold tight and never ever let go.
 
I hate the drama that comes after something so important
You’re my own, you’re mine, mine, and I want you here
You’re my lungs, my heart, my soul, and my air
Without you I’m unhappy, I’m dead, my children…
Please come back, come back to me, come back home…
You don’t belong but with me, I’m your guardian
The one who has always taken care of you both
And if God do truly exist, he will help us be together once again.

 

 

Army of Darkness
 
Your eyes are so beautifully evil
I think I have a crush on the devil
I want her to strip me naked and drag me down to hell
My life ain’t worth more than a decimal
I’m gonna agree to your mortal proposal
I want you reach on my bones and turn right the wheel.
 
Oh, yes, that light from the distance
Has been keeping me blind for awhile
I want you to follow me into my army of darkness
Or you can die alone here burning inside.
 
Yes, that tune that you maniacally sing
So beautiful and swerving and powerful
The hands that give time on the clock, flipping birds around
My very pride I’ve sold for a penny
Enjoy while you can these last tears of profanity
I want you to come face to face with the mirror of your sound.
 
Boastful praising the sins
As we all human beings
Do so indiscreetly…
 
Lady Death, here we meet again
I’ve been looking for you for awhile
You can either join my army of darkness
Or you can die alone here burning inside…
 
It’s your choice
You decide…
 
Preach the death you so full of gloat promote
Or let the cockroaches eat the rest of your corpse…
Weighting the Outlet
 
More writers’ block coming my way
I don’t know what to write, what to say
Don’t know if to be brutally honest
Or complicated confusingly metaphoric
I don’t know if to address again my personal struggles
Or try to humble others with my “read between lines” rhymes
Either way it’s not like many are gonna read it
Less are gonna understand half of it
Cause art has become as stale as the psychiatric help
For someone who doesn’t feel needs help at all.
I know I need a lot
But still I’m so scared that I hide my fears inside
And pretend that everything is not as bad
As my nightmares and lack of sleep
When this voice in my head screams
At me, telling me, “Jesus, man!”
“You’re fucking losing your mind”
That’s why every night I wake up
Gasping for air and chocking
I subliminally hate myself so much
That my inner demon is trying to dispose of me.
Every time I try to rest
This voice in me keeps yapping and yapping
Laughing whenever I fail and fall down
Pushing me to end this nightmare
Cornering me to the point I can’t take it anymore
Convincing me that my frustrations won’t stop
And my life won’t be better or ever be fixed
Enclosing me into this cage
Prisoning me inside my own fear and hate
Each day nailing me deeper into my cross
Mocking at the fact that I might not ever see my children again
Whispering as loud as it can at my ears
“God doesn’t love you but loves watching you be in pain”
“That’s where your faith and loyalty drove you”
“Having a bitch take everything you fought for stolen”
“Why this fucking human justice will always spit at your face”
“You lost your rights as a father, your freedom of speech…
distorted in the lies of a woman who wants to only torture you.”
“You lost your job, your house, your kids, your whole family”
“You self-esteem, as low and as little as it might’ve been.
And now you’re losing sleep as your losing your mind”
“And that Karma bitch seems to hate you and be against you too”
“Stop writing words on a page you call poetry,
Thinking you’re any good at it…
You hallucinating arrogant prick!
Nobody is gonna read none of your shit
Take you seriously as an artist,
Or an honest human being struggling.
So instead of just whining, just grab a knife
And slit your goddamn wrists.
Finally and stop this goddamn drama!
Cause nobody gives a fuck about your life;
Especially none of your friends or your fans.
You know you have your love one for the time being,
But when you fuck up, she too will leave.
It’s only you and me, man!
I’m stronger than you!
I am the demon in your heart and soul!
I am hate, and anger, and pride!
I’m you and you created me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I won’t die until I kill you first;
Destroy your life,
Rip everything you love from you,
Drive you insane,
And teach you how all of this never made any goddamn sense in the first place.”

Upshift

Posted: November 7, 2013 in Sarcastic Poetry
Tags: , , , , , ,
Upshift
 
You like me
Until you like me no more
You love me
Until you love me no more
Cause that honesty that you love so much
Is the same thing you’ll be fed up with
My life is like my poetry
The first one or two times people find them amazing
But then they realize is more of the same, really boring
For those whose life fun is being dull
But for me at times fun is bashing someone’s skull
And I’m just saying this for the sake of the rhyme
Before anyone turn the page and begin to whine
It’s darn bad I still have writer’s block
But I better hurry up if I really want to beat the clock
I feel like I’ve being left behind in this arm’s race
I can’t allow that, no, cause I want to be in first place.