Autophobia
 
Lost in space
I am an astronaut
That tried to explore newer worlds
But end up…
Lost in the vast dark nothingness….
 
And all the love
I had for you
To give to you
Is somewhere here in my hollow self
In my sleeping heart…
Please don’t leave me alone…
 
I thought by now I would’ve found my way home
What can I say I learned?
What can I say to my own?
Nothing is what it seems
And dreams are where they belong…
 
I can change my address
And I can change my name
I can change my gender
I can even change my race
But still under this skin
These traces of this trauma…
That only life can give you lie…
 
I can redeem myself
I can kill myself
Over and over and over again
But until I have learned
To validate and love myself
Things won’t really change
For this life or for the next…
 
Falling fast into the atmosphere
I am burning like a meteor
When I hit the ground I know it’ll hurt
And then I’ll be laying there for awhile
Swaying myself and weeping
Thinking about the things I have lost
Thinking about the things I could’ve done…
 
Now so far away from home…
All I have right here…
Is my wounded flesh and broken bones
All I have right now…
Is myself dying… all alone…
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