The Art of Telling Your Story

Posted: February 24, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

When everything is gone, well, everything is gone. When there’s nothing left, well, there’s nothing left. And this includes belongings, feelings and everything that came across and became part of our everyday life. No, it wasn’t a hurricane, nor a fire, or a flood that got rid of all these things, but rather the rage of a human being. Hate and indifference can be so destructive, especially towards others. I’m the center of all this aggression. My sin: trying to correct what was seemingly uncorrectable. The backlash has been much more than destructive; it’s been overkill. It’s not enough to burn someone to death, chop it into pieces, put it in a plastic bag, dig a hole on the floor, piss all over the carcass, put gasoline over and light it on fire… No. A gathering of friends has to be done, while they laugh at your demise and spit on your chopped-up dead body. Make its children see all of these horrible events, while telling them “this is what happens when you displease mommy.”

None of that (the aforementioned) were metaphors, no, except for the fact that I’ve been physically murdered. Everything is as violent and a gruesome as it sounds. She took the house, the car, my kids, my rights, my freedom and everything else; she got rid of. She literally got rid of everything else. All of my paintings that I’ve done, everything single book of poetry I’ve written, every draft of an idea I had penned down, all of my school diplomas, degrees, and everything I’ve bought over the years. I’m talking 20 years of things that I’ve worked on and $6,000 worth of articles I’ve bought. So basically I have no record whatsoever of whom I‘ve been for the past 20 years. She got rid of everything that defined me as a human being with a history.

Guess it’s time to start anew? Like a damn baby but with grown broken body. Not being overly dramatic. My body literally hurts. I have no intentions in beginning anew. This wave of destruction either ends with her, or it will continue to swallow up everyone around. Even at distance, it haunts me like a “Japanese” ghost. Hehehe, those are the ones that never let you be even if you come to terms with them.

So how’s my anger level? I guess in control. But, my hatred level… that’s another story. I literally hate this person, and as Christian I find no struggles in that. My fellow Christians are like “man, let it go. It’s nothing.” I was even asked to repent to the sins that drove that woman become the person she is now. I mean, whut? I haven’t told the whole story here, but long story short, she wouldn’t be where she is if it wasn’t for me. This was a girl who was constantly high, drunk, sleeping around, and by that time she was only 16 years old. I’ve seen people fuck up their lives, but she truly deserved a fucking medal or a trophy. By the time she was 19 I tried to help her get sober. I stood up against her abusive parents to defend her, and took the blame for everything she’s done wrong. You know now how that ended. My sin was being a stupid masochist that would give his pride to help another.

Now I’m here, with nothing, just the law behind my back because of their naïvetés and cynical ways of not looking for the truth. I have no money but they want to look for a lot of it to give it to my ex. How much I love the corrupt system!!! I’ve spoken to every agency and told them my story, even made a written testimony, and all they’ve done with all this, is used those sheets as toilet paper to clean their dirty asses.

So what about my kids? I haven’t been able to see them in over a year. An agency is taking care of them as their mother pretend to the judge that she’s the one doing it. I’ve been accused of being a negligent father and abusive husband. Funny, I’ve never laid a finger on her, never verbally abused her, and I was the one who was always in favor of our children being taken care of by ourselves, while she was always constantly insinuating what a bother that was. I guess when the world is blind, the world is truly blind. So, yeah, I’ve got pretty much sick of most human beings, seeing how heartless and full of shit they are.

Hahaha, how much I’ve talked about myself here, huh? You still reading? No? It’s okay. Drama is boring anyways. I just felt I needed to get these things of my chest. Maybe write a damn book about it. Laugh it off a bit. Who knows? Maybe my ex will find a way to get me arrested for something else she’d lie about. I don’t care anymore. I feel so bad for my children. If I could save them, I would. But the justice system sucks and it’s only in her favor. In the meanwhile, I’ll keep here, sending her money, (the little money I have,) while the system keeps sending me letters telling me that the money I send her doesn’t pay my debts with them. So, whatever… My kids have no monetary needs. That’s a relief for me. But they do need a father. I’m trying to reach for them. Like I said I’ve spoken with countless of agencies and a lot of lawyers, and they all say, either that they’re gonna help me; which they don’t, or that my case is a lost cause. So, there we go again, another blind alley.

To sum it all up, just thanks for reading, for those who did, if you did. Godbless and I’ll be back with some more poetry soon. Take care y’all!

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Comments
  1. A book, hmmm that is an interesting thought and with the right angle, it would definitely sell. It is hard reading these words, knowing how much you are hurting and I am still beyond amazed, not sure that is the right word, shocked, stunned, you know about the whole situation. I can’t imagine, well in some way I can, what it is like to lose all that you had, all that you treasured and collected throughout your life and for someone without thought or care to just discard it, is beyond unbelievable. Karma has a way of dealing with others and she has a lot coming to her.

    I agree with you about your children though. It’s sad that they must be the ones that pay the price for her ignorance, hate, malice behavior and stupidity. Know that you aren’t in this alone, though I can imagine it feels that way regardless of those around you. You must keep fighting if for no other reason than them. The law can suck and justice can be in the wrong hands but your children love you and having you separated for a time but still loving them, until they are able to grow up and decide for themselves is better than them thinking you are just gone. That is the wonderful thing about life too, your children know and love you and not distance or anything will change that, you have to remember that and if you forget I will be there to remind you. I am glad that you were able to write this out and get it off your chest, as you say and who knows keep writing and talking and something good might come out of it. Nothing is over until it is over right? Love you! ❤ ❤

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