Archive for May, 2014

Unsuccessful

I came here with the illusion
That my life would change for the better
That I’d be able to reach for my dreams
That I’d move on from all of these struggles.

I came here with the hope
That I’d solved some of these problems
That I’d be able to pay some of my debts
That I’d recover all that I’ve lost back home.

Love was the thing that urged me
But lately fear has been taking control
The devil is right here to show me
How God has really left me all alone.

My tears, they’re meaningless
My fear will always hold me back
I’m so sorry I’m so useless
I’m so sorry I’ve failed again this time.

I came here, such a foolish decision(?)
But I think I would have died if I did not
To leave there my children to follow my passion?
That wasn’t my intention, it wasn’t at all.

I came here with the impression
That all this weight on my shoulders would ease up
But nothing is like they show in the commercials
Nothing feels as good as they tell in the ads.

I’ve tried it all, (with all my might)
And yet I’ve failed, (fell against the concrete)
The devil had the last laugh
While God is still hidden somewhere.

My tears, they’re meaningless
My fear will always hold me back
I’m so sorry I’m so worthless
I’m so sorry I’ve disappointed you again.

Inspired and dedicated to a friend…

Little Miss Silence

Little miss silence
Searches for a friend
Little miss innocence
Searches for the truth
And she doesn’t know
How beautiful
Her broken heart is
She doesn’t comprehend
How precious
Her wounded soul remains.

Little miss silence
Is looking for a friend
One that can be loyal
One that wouldn’t harm her
And she doesn’t know
How beautiful
All of her dreams can be
She doesn’t seem to see
How precious
All of her love truly is.

Hello, little miss silence
I’ve been watching
How much you’ve been longing
To find a faithful soul
I didn’t mean to stare
Neither to meddle in your affairs
But in my observation
I have seen and I have found
All that you’ve been looking for
And all that you’ve been looking for
Lives there inside of your heart
Breathing inside of your beautiful self.

So, little miss silence
Dance all around
Sing all about
How you’ve found
All of the things that you longed for
Inside of your own
Cause the love that’s undying
The one that is truly real
Simply comes from your spirit
Really comes out from your soul.

I wrote this a week ago and forgot to post it here…

Grasping Air

What will I do once you are gone?
What will I do? Where will I go?
I remember when I used to be home
I wanted my space; I wished to be left alone.

But time always caught with us while we’re distracted
What would I do when life takes you away from me forever?
I will regret all of those times I took you for granted
I will regret all of the changes I had to show you how much I care.

I would love to push away the issues of if you were a truly loving influence
Nobody would dare to talk imprudence about their figure of authority
But all the times you’ve hurt me cannot compare to all the times I’ve needed you now
And here in the distance I wish I could spend time with you again somehow.

Oh father!
Oh mother!
Being an adult is so difficult
And I’ve been hurting since I was a child
Would hold me for one minute?
And tell me everything will be okay one more time?

What am I to do once you’re gone?
I’ll be left with the sentiment of knowing I was the one who left home
Oh how I miss you both in the distance right now!
I cannot bear to imagine the day that you won’t be there anymore.

Time is running fast and it won’t stop
Soon will come the day when they will call me and I’ll hear the news
You did all that you could to raise me up
All of the angering moments that I wished I was good enough for you.

I will never forget the tears of the day that I left my town
I know it wasn’t easy for you to simply let go
How’s for a father to say goodbye to one of his sons…?
I had to do the same to both of mine on that day, full of sorrow.

I’m gonna miss you so much once you are gone
I’m gonna miss more than I’m missing you right now
You did good with what you had and that’s enough
But my broken heart will always bleed for the love I feel for you both.

I wrote this a few days ago but never posted it…

Chloroform and Hormones

Rip out my heart
And tear a piece of it
Then throw it away
And show me the agony.

Bound tight my arms
Chain me to this chair
Dance around all day and night
Till you seduce the way that I care.

Hold all your pain next to my throat
And slit it the way you do with your wrists
I’m so sorry for the way I’ve hurt you
Now fill up with poison those beautiful lips.

Grab me firmly by the hair
And whispers those secrets on my ear
Punch me in the stomach and then walk away
Teach me to how to know what is to fear.

Take that plastic bag
And wrap it around my face
You know that I’m frightened
Of being asphyxiated.

Slip all your hurt under my veins
Stick down that needle like you do with yours
I’m so sorry for bringing such pain
You know in your heart, I’ll always be yours.

Fire burning, fire be
Pour all of the gasoline inside of me
Strike up a match, set it alight
You know when I’m with you, I feel alive.

Pelicans

Posted: May 7, 2014 in Insane Poetry, Love Poetry
Tags: , , , ,

Wrote this poem a few weeks ago and posted it somewhere else but not here

Pelicans

Loaded pistol thoughts
Aim and shoot
Baby, my life is stuck
So let’s move on
Follow the road
That leads to our hope
Grab from above
Before this rope breaks up.

Swallowed by the sea
Mr. Poseidon and guests
Baby, sometimes I feel sick
So let’s move on
Follow the road
That leads to our place
Grab from above
Before this space is taken up.

I’m moving with the beat of the drum
What do you want me do, love?
I’m following the beat of my heart
Oh, baby, grab from above, grab from above.

Inveigled Accruement

Hungry for the damage
Keening for the blood of the innocents
Starving for the carnage
Prowling for the coercion of the immaculate

You, sneaky little leech
Hidden under my own skin
Retorting to your every wish
Ensnaring me into my very sins.

I can’t look into your eyes
I could turn into stone
I can’t even look back
I could turn into a pillar of salt and be blown.

Move forward and leave behind
This old temple of fornication and filth
Force inward for the essence to unwind
This new body, an armor for the unblemished.

Anxious for the adjusting
Subtlety docile in my transfiguration
Enticing for the upcoming
Wheedled on the wheel of my transmutation.

You, twisted bitter snake
Hidden right under my bones
Contorting as you all may
Condescendence for the atoned.

I can’t look into your eyes
You could turn me into stone
I can’t even look back, behind
I could turn into a pillar of salt and be blown.

I will not succumb, sink into the most boundless of mires
Even if it avers, I won’t give in to my every burning desire
I will keep myself distant from the tongues and mouths of liars
No, I won’t be one to be suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

Portentous Cognition

Golden plate and a silver spoon
It’s simply how some kings dine in this place
I’ll be waiting a while, will it be here soon?
When will it be the time that I’ll be blessed by such grace?

All angels fall by my side
I guess they’re losing the war up there
There’s a gap abounding inside
Would you teach me how’s to love and how not to fear?

Oh how I long the freedom of knowledge
Oh how I long a third eye
If what I know isn’t enough, well then,
Would you tell me every secret that hides?

Breathing in and breathing out
Sitting here in darkness and silence
This seems like a one side conversation, should I shout?
Maybe you cannot hear me in the distance.

All daemons they utter and invite
I guess there’s a reap if I ever join them
Every sensor tingling at the site
Dive yourself in, and count in regression from ten.

What’s the reason of this pathway?
What’s the meaning of this realm?
I never intended to drive my anima away
I only wanted to know, only wanted to learn.

Consumed by the fiends in my mind
I have become one of them, one with them
Is there a way to get back into the lines?
Is there a chance that I could return?

Give me what I want and then I’ll go away
I won’t let go until you meet my demands
Surrender it all now, for there’s no escape
I’ll continue to fight until you put on your hands.

Bless me
I want to have of what you give
Come on, put it over me
I’m well deserved of that touch, of that gift.