Archive for November, 2015

Chain Reaction

You say I’m beautiful
Just to call me a scumbag a few minutes later
Words are so wistful
Especially when truth comes spilling clearer.

You say you love me
Just to point at the door every time we discuss
Those are your feelings
And sometimes they burst out just because.

But if I was to respond
That would make me detonate the bomb
And inside of my head
There are a lot of things I still haven’t said.

In the heat of the moment
I just want to murder you
In the heat of the moment
I just want to make love to you
That’s why I keep my actions chained
I don’t wish to unfold a chain reaction.

You act like an angel
Just for later to behave like such a damn bitch
Here lies the danger
I don’t know how to react towards this shit.

You tell me it’s okay
Just for later to yell at me for doing it wrong
No matter what I say
Or do, I just don’t know how to play along.

But if I was to reply
I would make you face your own lies
And inside of my brain
There are a lot of things still inflicting pain.

In the heat of the moment
I just want to murder you
In the heat of the moment
I just want to make love to you
That’s why I keep my actions chained
I don’t wish to unfold a chain reaction.

Cocky aren’t we? Isn’t it typical?
Is it funny when you don’t see it from my side?
Yeah, I’m the king of being cynical
But you’re the queen at ripping people’s heart.

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Abnegation

All these suppositions will be the death of us
As long as you don’t see it too, it’ll be no harm to you
There’s a gap between your silence and your gasp
As long as I keep ignoring it, I might find happiness too.

The things you don’t feel are culture-injected
That sense of not taking blame, and washing it all off
It is impossible that you are not responsible at all
It’s best for what the esteem gives and mother’s love.

The choices thrown at the table are pretty critical
“Either you pay or you die”, that sounds quite tyrannical
Can your emotions be proven without giving wrapped gifts?
The one wind you follow is the one that never shifts.

Those pre-selected words are your self-defense mechanism
As long as we can laugh, we withstand this masochism
If you threaten me to the exit door,
That means you’ve no intention in keeping me here
Then why keep around with someone who doesn’t hold people’s love’s dear?

I don’t expect many people to like this poem, but for those who know a little of history will understand some things that I’m saying here.

povlens

Vantage Point

“Give us a ruler
One that is like us
One that is flesh like
One born out of sin and damnation
One that could die of starvation
One that hungers power
One to build us towers
For him to lead our holy nation.”

“In God we trust
For Him to do what we command
We don’t like holy wars
But only the ones that make us feel holier
So give a chance to other religions
Except for the one that makes us explode
We have tolerance except for those
Who would truly die for what they believe
However crazy we might perceive
So don’t choke on your popcorn
Cause this is going to be the bomb
In the meanwhile have some fun
Come grab a chair and enjoy the show.”

“Divide the land
This is not my people
This is not my family
These are not the ones I was born with
I won’t share what’s rightfully mine
Or let you take it away
I need a place to stay
A place to rest my tired head.”

“So grab your arms
This time our voices will be heard
This is a battle we don’t think of losing again
It doesn’t matter how many years
How much blood, sweat and tears are spilled
No matter how many are killed
We do it for the sanctity of our belief
For all we wish is to live in peace
Man vs man, this doesn’t make any sense
But we also have to come to our defense
I hope you believe as much in your God
As we believe in ours
I hope you’re ready to give your life for your God
As we’re ready to give ours
In the meanwhile pray in the night
Contemplate on what’s wrong and what’s right.”

“Us, “the innocent”,
In the middle of a war…
we don’t fully understand
Which side do we take?
Which people do we cry for?
To see a man murder another
Do you think we take pride in that?
Oh, I understand we’re a violent species
But that’s doesn’t excuse these atrocities
If the leader of a country
Has a feud with the leader of another
They should take it onto each other
And leave us civilians alone
I don’t see any leader taking a bullet
In these cases of hostages
All that I see is flesh to the bone
Bodies lying dead on the ground
And no one to be accounted for
Ripping us off from our human rights
Depriving us all from our precious lives
Dividing and conquering;
That’s the way of the tyrants
So I guess, for us is time to retaliate
So bring in the guns, the jets, and the tanks.”

Perpetual Abjuring

On my defeat
Down on my knees
Bathed by your light
Drenched in my tears
I close my eyes and come upon
This temporary understanding
This momentary healing
This short-lived consciousness.

This transitory realization
That could help me progress
But that I will abandon
As soon as I forget.

This passing sense of sympathy
This ephemeral urge for forgiveness
That we will soon forget about
As fast as another misfortune misunderstanding occurs.

I want to heal as long as I’m feeling I should wish to do so
I want to forgive as long as this feeling occupies my soul
After that, let it burn like it always has, let it all rot to the ground
When my pride closes its doors we’ll have to wait for the next insight to abound.

Unraveling Weapons in What Was Supposed to be the Mending End

All these things we never talked about
I’m gonna take them and shove them down your throat
Don’t fucking talk about letting live and letting go
You’re the one fucking wrapped around the string, on and on.

I don’t need to be told to “grow up and learn to forgive”
I’ve seen countless of forty something year olds yelling at the world
About how they never had what they wanted, never lived the way the wanted to live
You can call it ‘mid-life crisis’, I call it ‘getting it even with it all’.

All these emotions I’ve been harboring
I think it’s time to release them and give them to their mother
The one that gave them birth in my head
Cause you really took advantage and fucked me over like no other.

I don’t need being told “this is childish”, or “this is stupid”
It’s just a little dose of the poison that has been illing me for years now
I could go on and on giving examples about how double standard your comments are
You tell to go on, just as long as you’re not the one being down.

The thoughts in my head are not as dangerous as the atrocities you commit
The way you lie with a straight face, looking straight at people’s eyes makes me want to vomit
There’s not much to be said here that wouldn’t sound much like a complain
I hope you enjoy hurting the innocent ones, giving them pain along the way.

Waste

Now again I have fallen
Feeling like the enormous idiot I’ve been told I am
Now again I have lost
Lost in this feeling of misery, like the loser I am.

For how much longer are you gonna stand my failing, over and over again?
For how much longer are you gonna endure me never amounting to anything?
Before the feelings in your heart and your perception of me finally changes?
Before you say you’ve had enough, you wasted enough of your time on me?

Now again I am hurting
Only on the inside but soon on my flesh as well
Now again I am nothing
Nothing but the low self-esteem in my brain cells.

For how much longer are you gonna tell me this is not end, we’ll try again?
For how much longer are you cheer me for me, saying we’re gonna make it?
Before the reality caught up with your thoughts and changes your opinion?
Before you say “it’s been a long ride, and I’m tired of driving, so off you go.”?

This is not on you, but on me
But if I cannot get to the start
At least let me get to the ending
And pull out my broken heart.

I don’t know the meaning of this life
I can’t see what was designed for
Never achieved any of my dreams
Nor can I be happy with what I have.


Hawker of Salve

Like a cheap magician you will come up front with impossible solutions
Like cancer can be cured with a fluid in a flask or enchanted potions
Your carriage raises more questions than the gibberish written in your parlor’s label
For you’re just another Luciferian quacksalver disguised as our holy savior.

Snap your fingers to make me disappear
You won’t like me when I start speaking real
This little vampire you had under control
Got sick of this dealing with your entrepreneurs.

The tsk of the task in the sound
Keep rolling your eyes when no one’s around
This hell bent bed pool made for you
Is the perfect gateway for all of this decadence to come true.

I know the cause for these situations
How come everyone keeps ignoring them?
I’m so sick of dealing with your condescension
You’re just recycling a lie, when are people going to learn?

You keep pilling rubble over rubble just to hide what’s under your crushing feet
Once we remove the steeping stones piled over us, we’ll be able to proceed
Your army is nothing but puppets held by strings, legions of zombies following orders
For blindness has kept them numb and stale to the cause of others.

So come to the table, bring up the walls
Put down the sickened animal, shout to the call
It all will start, or end, for better or for worse
Injecting a farce, full of ignorance, but you feel no remorse.

So this mechanical Machiavellian device
Would it keep you off those leeches and lice?
This unoriginal imaginary spiteful pretense
Would it keep us all off from making any goddamn sense?

I know the answer to the question
How come everyone keeps denying it?
I’m so sick of hearing your suggestion
If you keep feeding them lie, and they keep eating up your shit.

Oh, come forward, my dear friend, Misery
Come to me with your latest of news
To unlock for us all the greatest of mysteries
Tell us about the things we’ve gotten used to.

If you keep them ignorant to the truth, they’ll never know any better
If you keep repeating the lie over and over again, everyone ends up believing it
If you keep them confined in a bubble of false advertisement for true patriotism
They’ll be the ones to divide what was already joined; they’ll bend to the point of schism.