Dreadful Inner Distress

Who am I today?
I’ll be who you want me to be
As long as we don’t fight baby
No, as long as you don’t leave
I’ll be all encyclopedic
If all you need is to read
I’ll be all organic
If all you need is to eat.

Who I’ll be today?
I hate every version of me
Like my father used to tell me
“You’re very precious, baby”
Oh, daddy, why didn’t you teach me better?
Teach me the difference
Between this me and that me
And every other me.

Who am I today?
Am I my boyfriend’s lover?
Or another’s lover?
Or the waste that nobody wants to touch?
Come tell me
Who do you need me to be?
Isn’t my body seductive…
When you want to have sex with me?

Who should I be today?
A strong independent woman?
Or a foolish slut in need?
You know I too have desires
You know I too have dreams
I too drown in my own tears
When I cannot find a way to sleep…
So what of it?
Who should I be?

Anyone I am
Is it enough for anyone?
Anything I do
Is it enough? Is it though?

I can be all encyclopedic
If you need is to read
I can be all organic
If what you need is to eat
I’ll be your queen
I’ll be you whore
I’ll be what you wish
Just hold me close
And never let go
Never let go
No, no, never let go…
No…

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Comments
  1. I really enjoy this poem. I can feel my own struggle in these words the desire to be myself, yet hot really sure who that is. I personally really struggle with being myself and who others want or tell me to be. Very powerful.

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