Archive for May, 2017

In Spirit

I’m lost
Where’s my light?
I’m looking for it
As it is looking for me.

All this road
Has me tired
Will it give up on me?
As I given up on it?

You wish you could save me
As I wish I could save myself
I wish I could give you
Give you the love I cannot give myself.

All this love that I feel is overwhelming
To give it away until I’m completely empty
Just to suffer ‘cause I wish you were here with me
But I can feel you, only in spirit.

I’ve lost
My will to fight
Is there anything
Else out there for me?

All these wounds
Have me wounded
Will I ever truly heal?
Enough to help others?

You wish you could save me
As I wish I could save myself
I wish I could convince you
All the things I won’t believe myself.

All this love that I feel overtakes me
To give it away until I’m completely empty
Just to suffer ‘cause I wish I could be there for you
And yet I could, but only in spirit.

Debauched

Quench to get to the center of your soul
Just to sink my teeth into your beautiful body
Too some this may sound quite cold
But the force that pulls in is inevitably gaudy.

What it is what it is and there’s no other way
When you call it by name, it comes here to stay.

Stretch to get to touch the great beyond
Just to have a taste of what it is that you hide
To bend what could’ve been a good bond
But the mystery keeps pulling me back inside.

It is what it is and what it is somehow alluring
When you call it by name, it gets here by staying.

So easy, unnecessary to try to overcomplicate it
Why take the long way when I can come straight to it?
It is what it is and what you need is what I have
Trade body for soul, just to fill up this salacious gap.

Severance

And this earthquake will be felt by the people such as I
And when it comes and I won’t be able to see eye to eye
I’ll be bowing my head, while tears roll down my face
‘Cause I’ll be feeling that this chaos I’ve had embraced.

And the fragile mind will stay in shock as they lie in awe
And my hands will tremble, and my heart will surely drop
I’ll be cursing myself, while my fast press against heaven
‘Cause I’ll be feeling that the balance’s unfairly uneven.

And nobody else will truly understand how to reach with my hands
And rip my heart out in order to show the world how much I hurt
And when that time comes my thoughts of suicide might double
‘Cause this while will feel like I’ve wasted it just lying in the dirt.

I can’t find a way to convince myself that it will be alright
‘Cause I know in my heart of hearts that it will bring much more sorrow
And by then I’ll realize that this leading light isn’t as bright
It’s just a veneer to make you believe that there’ll be a better tomorrow.

My Decision

She likes to keep it together by pushing you to the side
She would step over you before swallowing her pride
She’d risk it all as long as she have to doesn’t apologize
She would do all this before she comes to realize.

She’s never wrong and she’ll never humble
For all the damage she’s done, she’ll never feel ashamed of
She doesn’t regret having to humiliated you
She could care less about moral values and manners.

She contradicts her gloating by despising me
She likes to waste time with her indifference
She cries, only for you to feel sorry about her
She likes boasting her ego by making you feel like less.

She fucks things up and never takes responsibility
She’s all about herself, one side blame on me
She feeds on her all powerful sense of femininity
Her arrogance’s set to drown any sense of sympathy.

It is my decision not to deal with any of this
It is my decision to speak things like they are
It is my decision to call on all of her bullshit
Never again will I be fooled by appearance.

From the perspective of someone else

Bodhi – Seoul (Erudire)

This one goes to my father
To my mother
To my God
And all the intentions they had for me.

Implant fictional memories of things I never lived
In this imminent break up, make me choose a side
Such a diabolical plan to take a child to manipulate
Push that love for a cornerstone deep in my insides.

I’ve found my shattered self
In a higher realm
Inside my own
Right where you left my dead pride and soul.

Move me with your strings, like the puppet you think I am
I’ll be bowing my head, waving my hands up, side to side
Dictate all the prayers, and the rules I’m set to understand
Push self-love in a small bottle that I must drink until I die.

This circus that you made of my youth
You made a pact for the cult that was set to sting
To praise a God that never gave a fuck
But now I’ve found a way to be again enlightened, liberated.

The Vagrant’s Note

Emotions, sensations
Food for thoughts
Unravels in relations
A dish served best cold

Just a scream within the noise
A girl with a golden crown
In this life you’re given a choice
To carry on or stay down.

You know it all
We know that already
And what shall
Go wrong will do so.

Passive, aggressive
Secretly manipulative
Needy and impulsive
Existence that’s invasive.

This isn’t the response awaited
Not the wings you need
When everything’s incongruent
Best find out its meaning.

You know it all
We know that already
And what shall
Go wrong will do so.

Commentaries Section

I’m in this loop
That seems of reruns
Of my memories
Of what was once
And these feelings
They keep coming over
But it’s been too many seasons
Of the same old-same old
And the viewers have moved on
Cause they’ve gotten bored.

In this script
The writer got sick
Of writing new elements
So everything that’s left
Are fillers to carry on
The length of the time
That things are being noticed
For how long
Will they hold up
Being so monotonous,
So repetitive?

I’ve stopped being brand new and interesting
A long time ago
I’m just a has-been
Of a person that never was.