The Tracking Device

Why do we keep holding on so much onto the past?
Why can’t we walk away from it and leave it behind?
Traces of it keep shoving over my face and down my throat
Stop following me! Teasing me with what I had but that I’ve lost…

You hold onto the sentiments that were once there
But all you find there is pain, shame, and remorse
You swear to yourself that you’ve always been sincere
About the ways you deal with this shit, but you don’t.

I want to move on
But these chains keep chasing me
Strapping me, holding me still
And when I try to kill them, confront them
Mirages of innocence are what I see.

To sacrifice my own to obtain a new freer future?
To put into the fire those who couldn’t get away?
These parts of me are still trapped under the butcher’s thump
Give them back to me! It smiles with a smirk filled with evilness…

You hold onto the things you think are still salvable
Broken, bent and out of shape, they’re not like they were before
You swear to yourself you won’t give yourself like this
You end up being the whore for hope, trying to hold it all together.

I want to let go
But these thoughts keep assaulting me
Strapping me, tying me still
They ask for the ransom, but never kept their part of the deal
These hostages are never released.

And frustration turns into anger
Turns into hurting oneself and those around you
Cause in your mind you think this is unfair
And maybe the whole world has conspired against you.

Pain is the tracking device
That will follow you anywhere
Like a devious, defiant vice
That you just can’t abandon in here.

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Comments
  1. Wow the metaphors, the heartbreak, all the emotions you express in this poem. It really grabs the reader and makes them want to read each line and see how you make it through. Sometimes it seems like life is quite like that. The mess of things as you drag yourself through. Sorry kind of got off point. This is another great piece. Keep writing and letting it out.

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