Archive for the ‘Depressive Poetry’ Category

Like Before

I do not know how to express how I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this fire in here is awfully burning
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of disappearing
Not having to deal with any of this
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
I simply cannot take all of this shit.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

I do not know how to handle what I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this hatred in me is rapidly asphyxiating
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of self-injuring
Find a way to already be gone
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
Every day I face this all alone.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

The people who know me but do not call me
Will come to wonder what was wrong?
The people who are here, closest to me
Can’t give an answer for this, they have none.

They say if you speak about it, it will be easier
But I’ve been speaking about it for twenty long years
All of these problems are simply getting messier
I’m just peeling another layer of all the things I fear.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

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Everything Has Gone Back to Normal

Everything has gone back to normal
And my blood it bleeds red
And how it aches
How it hurts.

Everything has gone back to normal
And my calls are not responded
All in a busy tone
All in a busy tone.

Everything has gone back to normal
And this silence is by my side
Greeting me with open arms
Greeting me again.

Everything has gone back to normal
And I feel like my usual self
So useless, so useless
Yeah…

The white empty space
A wide empty space
Nowhere to escape
I have awoken.

Everything has gone back to normal
The momentary happiness has passed away
Passed away
Passed away.

Everything has gone back to normal
Daydreaming seems so bliss
Like a bad joke
I don’t want to.

The wide empty space
Here in my chest
Here in my head
I was never completed.

Everything…
Has gone back…
To normal…
Sigh… The End…?

Commentaries Section

I’m in this loop
That seems of reruns
Of my memories
Of what was once
And these feelings
They keep coming over
But it’s been too many seasons
Of the same old-same old
And the viewers have moved on
Cause they’ve gotten bored.

In this script
The writer got sick
Of writing new elements
So everything that’s left
Are fillers to carry on
The length of the time
That things are being noticed
For how long
Will they hold up
Being so monotonous,
So repetitive?

I’ve stopped being brand new and interesting
A long time ago
I’m just a has-been
Of a person that never was.

girltophouse

Desolation

Distance is tearing us, my darling
Distance is killing us, my dear
And the weather is getting colder
Since I don’t have you lying here
And if I have to wait one more minute
One more hour, one more day
For you to come back to my arms
To my life, to this house, to our bed
To this place we call our home
You might find me old, tired, confused
And probably already dead
By the time of your return
You might find me lying lifeless
You might find me diseased
Cause every second that passes
My heart keeps drowning
My heart keep sinking in
Into the ocean of my very own lonely tears
And I need you darling
Yes, I need you dear
I need you right now, right here.

So come rushing in through that door
I cannot wait for you anymore
Cause I’m slowly slipping,
Softly crawling on the floor
Minute after minute
Little by little letting go
In the beach of our memories
Sitting by the shore
As I ache for your return
My skin begins to burn
My thoughts they turn
In and out and all around
And all I want to be
For you my darling
For you my love
Is be prepared and beautiful
Have the strength
To break this vicious cycle
To come across the other side
Safe and sound
To find peace within this inner storm
For when you come home.

So what are you waiting for?
What is it making you take so long?
While I’m here desperately waiting
Passing time alone
In this, our bedroom
Our sacred shelter,
where our love belonged
So here I hear only the wind whistling
The tick tock
of the hands of the clock
That for you it hasn’t stopped
Not like I’ve had
So as I press onto this message
And I write the final lines
Of this unusual, intricate, poetic prose
I ask you more directly
Have you come to your senses?
What do you have to say in your defense?
Is this the end?
I think I see the rolling credits
As they play that trailer song
So come on and tell me
That this is not so
Come rushing in, my dear
Come back to me, my darling
You have until the morning
You have before the sun.

Lifeless

Yesterday we came to hunt them down
We got high, about, under and around
Two losers making their way through life
Running amongst the things we despise.

The touch of the heat of your hand
One thing I was sure could understand
But the gun at my head by my own
Stops me from turning this upside frown.

When I pulled the trigger
A red flash appeared before my very eyes
When my end was delivered
I stopped reaching for the God in the skies.

Yesterday we talk about getting cleaned
We drank some, slept some, never awoke
One of the losers was called by the light
No, you won’t see that lost soul tonight.

The touch of the heat of her heart
Was a thing that couldn’t keep them apart
But the knife in the line of the throat
Stopped the sailor from sailing his boat.

When I slit both my writs
A blurry cloud emerged, as I lay on the floor
When depression beat my wits
I couldn’t find the one thing I needed before.

And now she’s alone
But she can manage it,
as long as she’s stoned
cause what better way
to kill the pain once for all
than to kill yourself;
body, heart, mind and soul…?

A Poet’s Struggle

Last night I listened to my heart’s beats
And it sounded like drops falling from a faucet
And I believe that it was secretly crying
But that’s a thing that I’ll keep from ever explaining.

Cause your face doesn’t seem like in the mood
And it aches inside but I’m not sure if I should
So instead I swallow it all, till the point I get sick
So you’ll think I’m an asshole, just a stupid prick.

So who truly understands the matters of love?
When one is hurt, all of it seems crudely lost
So would you smile and pretend that you’re not hurting?
No love, that’s another way of denying your feelings.

Last year I thought it’d be gone by now
But still we see ourselves under the law of this vow
And I can undo it if that’s what you wish
Cause I know you love your dinner served as a cold dish.

So today doesn’t seem to be a good day
And it aches inside not being sure of what to say
So instead I’ll swallow it all, till the point I’ll get sick
So you’ll think I’m a douchebag, another senseless dick.

It’s getting harder to be honest around you
It’s getting harder to spill my heart in front of you
And I bet that you’ll say you feel the same
So what gives? Has our trust become our shame?

We have our senses all against the wall
And our hearts hanging by a thread, waiting for a fall
So what should we do next? Please tell me, do say
Should we carry on like this or simply walk away?

Cause sometimes I will keep it all inside
Yes, sometimes I’ll swallow all the truth
Cause I’m afraid you‘ll abuse my pride
But mostly I’m afraid of ever losing you.

Beta Source Conflict

Come sleep close to me
Slit deep in our skin
We’ll slip 1, 2, 3 pills
With our 1, 2, 3 drinks.

Till once again the pain we feel fades away
And all the sense of self worthlessness sinks in
Till all this love dies away in our hands
As it already has died away in your heart.

I guess we have no choice
I guess there is no choice
I guess this is your choice
I guess I have no choice…

But to lie with the sweet static in my head
That eats away all of the noise outside
Gradually distorting everything we’ve said
And turning every single wrong into a righteous right.