Archive for the ‘Fear Poetry’ Category

Uphold Chance

Breaking the cold sweat
Cause it’s the only way to cut addiction
And it’s been so sweet
Until the after image paints suffusion.

Try not to rely on your anger
Try to not be self-disappointed
When you hear the voices yelling at you
“Be very afraid, you will hurt once more”

To be given such a way out
As the opportunities comes flying in
Curved are all the routes
But learn how to truly straight them.

Try not to rely on your suffering
Try not to be so fucking negative
When the evidence is clearly telling you
“All that you fear will be soon to come.”

I cannot go on this road all alone
I’m not warrior I thought I was
So I’m giving up my armor and my gun
Because this is no longer my cause
So help me fight the different war
Cause the one I was fighting is lost
Help me move forward, help me restart
Cause I know now that my life is the cost.

The bird that sung on that day
In the morning of that summer
You tend to make me feel okay
When I feel like I’m being a bummer
And you stand all of my bullshit
When I try to choke this love out
Cause loyalty’s what we want to keep
Is this what this quest is all about?

You make me feel safe
I break down to the floor
Till I cannot stand anymore
Please, come on, help me
I know that I am broken
Help me stop this bleeding…
As you mend all my faults
Make the hurting come to a halt.

Dissected Conversations

The way you look at me
With those adamant eyes
The way you speak to me
With your tantalizing lies
It makes me follow through
It makes me slip in
Hidden under these scarlet sheets
With secrets, you and me.

Here comes the architecture
Trying to come with new plans
Here comes the heart doctor
Trying to mend all of our wounds.

“What is a girl like me supposed to do?
Am I ignore or to give in the words you spew?
You seem to be smart
And you seem to be courteous
But does that mean I’m supposed to trust you?”

Here comes the rendition
With the sparkles and gleams, in all of its glory
Here comes the absolution
To bring back an end to this part of the story.

A glimpse of my mind
With all of its clouds and storms
A peek on the inside
With all of my doubts and mourns.

“What am I supposed to do with all that you give me?
Am I supposed to care, to say that I love you?
You seem to be transparent
And you seem to be kind
But does that mean I should stay for you one more time?”

This endless circle
Looping the sounds echoing in
All that was once simple
Turns into a complication from within.

Dissected conversations
Why do you have to cut my heart to pieces
In order to understand who I am?
Isn’t the sound of my voice enough evidence
To make notice that I don’t have to pretend
That I have no agenda to hide?

A Dreamer’s Dream

Anyone awake?
I’m still dreaming
How long will it take?
Should I keep waiting?

I never meant to be alone
Never wanted to do this on my own
I thought this would be like a family
Man, I have never felt so lonely.

I guess we all have to grow up
Does it mean giving up your dreams?
What are we supposed to teach to children?
To give up their passion and simply conform?

I never meant to aim for so high
Never imagined it would be out of my reach
I thought if I reached for the sky
It would add up to the things I would obtain.

I guess it’s time to give it up
I guess this means I must stop dreaming
What am I supposed to tell my children?
That they should’ve no passion and simply conform?

Cause I’ve been a child for far too long
Or maybe I never gave myself a chance to be one to begin with
Forcing myself to accept all that is wrong
Never gave myself the opportunity of believing that dreaming could be the right thing.

Dreadful Inner Distress

Who am I today?
I’ll be who you want me to be
As long as we don’t fight baby
No, as long as you don’t leave
I’ll be all encyclopedic
If all you need is to read
I’ll be all organic
If all you need is to eat.

Who I’ll be today?
I hate every version of me
Like my father used to tell me
“You’re very precious, baby”
Oh, daddy, why didn’t you teach me better?
Teach me the difference
Between this me and that me
And every other me.

Who am I today?
Am I my boyfriend’s lover?
Or another’s lover?
Or the waste that nobody wants to touch?
Come tell me
Who do you need me to be?
Isn’t my body seductive…
When you want to have sex with me?

Who should I be today?
A strong independent woman?
Or a foolish slut in need?
You know I too have desires
You know I too have dreams
I too drown in my own tears
When I cannot find a way to sleep…
So what of it?
Who should I be?

Anyone I am
Is it enough for anyone?
Anything I do
Is it enough? Is it though?

I can be all encyclopedic
If you need is to read
I can be all organic
If what you need is to eat
I’ll be your queen
I’ll be you whore
I’ll be what you wish
Just hold me close
And never let go
Never let go
No, no, never let go…
No…

This is inspired in all the relationships I’ve been in. The constant problem that I see is that the other person is never fully committed, when they see something they don’t like, they try to destroy me and then kick me out… and then is as if nothing. Anyway enjoy!

Current Affair

This complicated relationship
Should it be as complicated?
When I say what I mean
But I don’t mean what I say
All of these things
That I carry inside
That I wish you would want
That I wish you would heal
But it’s just a burden
That to you doesn’t belong
And that’s why baby
No matter how strong
You say you love me
You’ll leave me alone.

This complicated way of seeing things
Oh, they would be so fucking simple
If I would let them be
But I’m so afraid
That if I do, then they’ll turn
Into something unmanageable
And then you’ll turn against me
I’m so damn afraid
That if I let you undo me
That’d be the end of me.

Oh, how sweet of you
To not give a fuck
Until it seems like too late
You should’ve rescued me
When I was pleading
And begging “come please”
“Please come to my rescue”
As you derided me and replied
“You’re man enough to rescue yourself”
So how is that love?
So how is that compassion?
How is that mercy
In any way or form?
If you only live for the passion
Of the one who is hurt
Of the one who is scorned
Oh, baby, baby
Open your eyes
The wounds you haven’t healed yet
Have your name written on them
Is the baggage that you’ve inherit
That you deny of inheritance.

I’ve been writing a lot of poetry but not posting enough. I’ve been through a lot these couple of weeks. My girlfriend advised me to get it off my chest and put it onto words. Little by little I’m doing that. Anyways, enjoy this new poem.


The Haunting Party

Lately I’ve been thinking that there’s something wrong with my brain
These thoughts that have been floating in and around are not really mine
It sounds like something my mother said, my father said, my brother said
But there’s something about them that’s different, like an evil intention’s behind.

“Oh, man, you’re pathetic!
When are you gonna do something useful out of yourself?
All your life you’ve been complaining
When are you gonna stop crying and make a man out of yourself?”

Lately I’ve been contemplating ending my life to end all the struggles
These thoughts are getting darker, are getting familiar, are being too often
It sounds like something my enemies would say, like my best friend said
But there’s something about them that’s warped, like with a suicidal intent.

“Oh, man, you’re worthless!
When are you gonna realize you’ve made nothing out of yourself?
All of this time you’ve been wasting!
When are you gonna grow up and make something out of yourself?”

When the voice of consciousness
Twists around
Darkens out
And becomes one of the devil’s.

When the things that people told you
That hurt you most at one point
Morph into ghosts;
Demons trying to get you down.

Hypnophobia

Today, it is gone
Tomorrow’s unknown
While the birds and the stars sleep
What’s carved in stone
What is not shown
Do the dancing roses truly weep?

Surrounding by strangers
In the chatting room
Where every face is a profile pic
And a mix of random letters and numbers
Take a turn
Break the ice
700 minutes in the waiting queue
For the suicide line to respond.

Today, it is okay
Tomorrow might be gray
While the rain metaphors your tears
What is left to say?
Deceit in the fray
To confront your most, biggest fears.

The yawning and the shaking
For the drama queens
And the unheeded suicidal emergencies
As blood paints bright the walls crimson shade
Let’s address
The elephant in the room
17 years in the breaking, signal for distress
As salvation sets it’s mode in procrastination again.

Exasperated, sleepless for the resting bed
As you skim through the words of an almost anonymous being
A thousand characters giving detail to the most atrocious predicaments
As they sculpt over your heart, bleeding sympathy for the provided allusion.