Archive for the ‘Loss Poetry’ Category

That Muscle Called the Heart

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
It’s the most beautiful and heart-breaking thing I’ve ever seen
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I imagine where you are, maybe out there in the mall or enjoying the sun in the beach.

This road here is leading nowhere, I’m stuck in the same place
When I first came I promised my love I’d overcome all this pain
Now I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, the end of this race
And I never amounted to anything, and I have nobody else to blame.

So when will, if ever, this show finally close its curtains?
I’ve exposed my life to the point that everyone knows a piece of me
Don’t you know I want to run and be like it was in the beginning?
With the innocence, and a smile and the hope that everything will fix itself.

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
Reminding everything I’ve lost, and how lost I have been
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I wish I could be for you a good example, but the distance won’t allow me to teach.

You’ll only know what they’ve told you about me
The only person that you’ll have missing in your life
Oh, my children, you don’t know much I wish to have you here with me
But instead I have to confront this endless loop of strife.

Advertisements

Self-fulfilling Prophecy

Going in circles in a deprecating predestination
Everything is where is needed to be in order to fail
I keep forgetting the answers for every question
I still remember the ending for this unpleasant tale.

They say the power is in my hands
As if I have the complex enough to believe in any of that
My problem here is that I’m self-aware
That no matter how hard I try things will go always go bad.

Going in circles ‘cause I’m programed to stay in repeat
That fucking stupid little light that I still cannot kill
I keep forgetting why I get up if again I’ll be on defeat
The only process that never begins is the one that heals.

They say that I have the control
If I did I would’ve changed all of this shit a long time ago
My problem is ignoring the problem
That no matter how much I try, I truly can never let go.

This is my self-fulfilling prophecy
For every one who has ever been fucked
For every one who has given up
For every one who lives in the darkness.

This creation is of my own
I decided to have my own life destroyed
I decided to have everything taken away
I decided to get hurt over and over again.

Did I also decide for you?
Did I also push you to hurt me as much?
For every gun that has been pointed at my face
Was I one who controlled if or not they would pull the trigger?

Everything Has Gone Back to Normal

Everything has gone back to normal
And my blood it bleeds red
And how it aches
How it hurts.

Everything has gone back to normal
And my calls are not responded
All in a busy tone
All in a busy tone.

Everything has gone back to normal
And this silence is by my side
Greeting me with open arms
Greeting me again.

Everything has gone back to normal
And I feel like my usual self
So useless, so useless
Yeah…

The white empty space
A wide empty space
Nowhere to escape
I have awoken.

Everything has gone back to normal
The momentary happiness has passed away
Passed away
Passed away.

Everything has gone back to normal
Daydreaming seems so bliss
Like a bad joke
I don’t want to.

The wide empty space
Here in my chest
Here in my head
I was never completed.

Everything…
Has gone back…
To normal…
Sigh… The End…?

‘Cause I don’t want to live without you…

For Every Time I’ve Lost You

Get me out of this misery
Cause I don’t wish to live without you
Cause everywhere that I look
I see the illusion of you.

What to do with the feelings you’re feeling?
When they used to be pure and carefree?
What to do now that the clouds have become grey?
What to do with this hurt that I feel every day?

Get me out of this misery
Cause I don’t wish to live like this anymore
Cause everything that I do
Is to be thinking of you.

Gray clouds gather, raining down on my face
And I don’t know what to do with all this space
Prepare myself to move on or fail in the process
How, when our lives used to be so full of roses?

The Tracking Device

Why do we keep holding on so much onto the past?
Why can’t we walk away from it and leave it behind?
Traces of it keep shoving over my face and down my throat
Stop following me! Teasing me with what I had but that I’ve lost…

You hold onto the sentiments that were once there
But all you find there is pain, shame, and remorse
You swear to yourself that you’ve always been sincere
About the ways you deal with this shit, but you don’t.

I want to move on
But these chains keep chasing me
Strapping me, holding me still
And when I try to kill them, confront them
Mirages of innocence are what I see.

To sacrifice my own to obtain a new freer future?
To put into the fire those who couldn’t get away?
These parts of me are still trapped under the butcher’s thump
Give them back to me! It smiles with a smirk filled with evilness…

You hold onto the things you think are still salvable
Broken, bent and out of shape, they’re not like they were before
You swear to yourself you won’t give yourself like this
You end up being the whore for hope, trying to hold it all together.

I want to let go
But these thoughts keep assaulting me
Strapping me, tying me still
They ask for the ransom, but never kept their part of the deal
These hostages are never released.

And frustration turns into anger
Turns into hurting oneself and those around you
Cause in your mind you think this is unfair
And maybe the whole world has conspired against you.

Pain is the tracking device
That will follow you anywhere
Like a devious, defiant vice
That you just can’t abandon in here.

Phasma

Posted: February 6, 2017 in Loss Poetry, Painful Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Phasma

I’ve tried to make amends with the ghosts in my head
Yes, I’ve tried all that is humanly possible to atone
But how are you to make peace with the dead?
When you are still here and they are long gone?

Inherent of Itself

I say, burn it all down
Burn it all down, girl
I’ll stay here, right beside
Till it all goes to the ground.

Cause the ghosts of the hands can’t “untouch” us
And the strike of the words can’t “unhurt” us

So I say, burn it all down
Burn it all till there’s nothing left
I’ll stay here, right beside you
Till you feel comfort to move on.

Cause the sand won’t go back to its prison bottle
And our tears, they go down the river with the bodies…

And so they rest and dream
Of the dreams I couldn’t dream
But now you do
Rest on, my friend, rest forever.

I should’ve kissed you when I had the chance
I should’ve told you how I felt then…

Maybe things would’ve ended up different
Maybe I would’ve done the very the same.