Archive for the ‘Painful Poetry’ Category

That Muscle Called the Heart

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
It’s the most beautiful and heart-breaking thing I’ve ever seen
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I imagine where you are, maybe out there in the mall or enjoying the sun in the beach.

This road here is leading nowhere, I’m stuck in the same place
When I first came I promised my love I’d overcome all this pain
Now I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, the end of this race
And I never amounted to anything, and I have nobody else to blame.

So when will, if ever, this show finally close its curtains?
I’ve exposed my life to the point that everyone knows a piece of me
Don’t you know I want to run and be like it was in the beginning?
With the innocence, and a smile and the hope that everything will fix itself.

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
Reminding everything I’ve lost, and how lost I have been
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I wish I could be for you a good example, but the distance won’t allow me to teach.

You’ll only know what they’ve told you about me
The only person that you’ll have missing in your life
Oh, my children, you don’t know much I wish to have you here with me
But instead I have to confront this endless loop of strife.

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I haven’t given before my opinion about today’s society’s status. This is my opinion about it all.

SeaSick

Nuke us, nuke us
This world deserves death
Apathy and nihilism
I’m a man with no faith.

I don’t hate you enough to pull the trigger
I don’t love you enough to extend my hand
Die in the corner, where nobody sees you
Die of starvation, the rich-from overdose.

This canvas is all painted over
There’s nothing else to put here
Just throw it to the trash and then
Bring a blank canvas and start again.

Your opinion, my opinion
The facts, the suffering
All of the notion that keeps moving on
We all born, we all die, we all cry!!!

So nuke us, nuke us
So we can truly fucking feel
How the goddamn end is like
Politicians and religious nuts
The politically correct and millennials
And those who don’t give a fuck
And for those who don’t believe in a God!
Die! For all of our sins
Or lack of
Perfect? Perfect is your bullshit
Thinking that we’re not on the same boat
One that is sinking!!!

The wave of so much nothingness
I’m getting seasick by all of the hollowness
The pitch black, nothing is essential
Everything is created, nothing is accidental.

The Stream, the String, the Stirring

The hollowness is expanding
Reaching greater lengths
The darkness is merging
Opposing our strength.

And if you’re weak
It will devour you
And if you’re sick
It will assimilate you.

But I, the shadows don’t want me no more
And the light, it’s still too far for me to reach
For I am a joke now as I was to them before
I’m the one who got their soul system breached.

The content of the box is being revealed
It wasn’t like there was nothing in it before
And the designs, that were once sealed
It is a falling that will certainly leave you sore.

And if you’re blind
It will consume you
And if you’re kind
It will disgust you.

But I, I am a wanderer between parallel realms
And the light, it’s still far too holy for me to touch
For I am the abortion of these parasitic stems
I’m the one who will never avail things as such.

I’ve taken sides, but never sided with the unknown
Although my core lusts to learn what’s out there and beyond
I’ve chained myself to the love and the pain ingrown
And my memory will hold meaning until I am completely gone.

The Conversation

This internal struggle is growling
And looking out for the hunt
All that it seems is to be hurting
The ones I care about the most.

I tend to make people feel like they’re not enough
Probably because it’s the way I feel about myself
I don’t know how to make you feel this hurt as much
So I hurt you intentionally so you would hurt in yourself.

This self-reflection is momentarily
Later I’ll find an excuse not to
All that I do is hurt emotionally
The ones I feel have hurt me too.

I tend to make people feel like they’re useless
Probably because I feel pretty useless myself
I don’t know how to make you see all this as such
So I hurt you intentionally so you would hurt in yourself.

Oh how we promised to each other to be safe havens
Oh how we promised to each other that would be safe
And now that our rotten corpses are eaten by ravens
We still signify in account for our many, many mistakes.

I think we should’ve had this conversation long time ago
We would’ve had better comprehension of things going on
Oh how my broken heart can’t help yours be fixed, oh no
But how I wish we could simply heal each other all along.

Self-fulfilling Prophecy

Going in circles in a deprecating predestination
Everything is where is needed to be in order to fail
I keep forgetting the answers for every question
I still remember the ending for this unpleasant tale.

They say the power is in my hands
As if I have the complex enough to believe in any of that
My problem here is that I’m self-aware
That no matter how hard I try things will go always go bad.

Going in circles ‘cause I’m programed to stay in repeat
That fucking stupid little light that I still cannot kill
I keep forgetting why I get up if again I’ll be on defeat
The only process that never begins is the one that heals.

They say that I have the control
If I did I would’ve changed all of this shit a long time ago
My problem is ignoring the problem
That no matter how much I try, I truly can never let go.

This is my self-fulfilling prophecy
For every one who has ever been fucked
For every one who has given up
For every one who lives in the darkness.

This creation is of my own
I decided to have my own life destroyed
I decided to have everything taken away
I decided to get hurt over and over again.

Did I also decide for you?
Did I also push you to hurt me as much?
For every gun that has been pointed at my face
Was I one who controlled if or not they would pull the trigger?

Like Before

I do not know how to express how I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this fire in here is awfully burning
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of disappearing
Not having to deal with any of this
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
I simply cannot take all of this shit.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

I do not know how to handle what I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this hatred in me is rapidly asphyxiating
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of self-injuring
Find a way to already be gone
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
Every day I face this all alone.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

The people who know me but do not call me
Will come to wonder what was wrong?
The people who are here, closest to me
Can’t give an answer for this, they have none.

They say if you speak about it, it will be easier
But I’ve been speaking about it for twenty long years
All of these problems are simply getting messier
I’m just peeling another layer of all the things I fear.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

Amaurotic

This world crumbles
Crumbles down at your feet
Have you ever known?
Ever known of defeat?

The disarrayed poetry
That makes you feel high
That makes you feel complete
It’s nothing but a discarded array
Of supplanted supplemented supplies
Of apparent cosmic prophecy,
An exponential perfidious of
An illusionary romantic morale.

You’re emotionally amaurotic
Stoic to the fact that not always
You’re gonna hurt
This partial loss of your sight
Becomes part of who you are
Of how you feel inside.

This world crumbles
Crumbles in front of you
Have you ever known?
If any of this is true?

The intrinsic intention
Turns the right into obsolete
The distinctive effort to inert
It’s nothing but disjointed display
Of insufficient, insufferable insertion
Of palpable parables paraphrases
That deviates the real objective;
Forcing you into being subjective.

You’re emotionally amaurotic
Stoic to the fact that not always
You’re gonna hurt
This partial loss of your sight
Becomes part of who you are
Of how you feel inside.

Gamble the one thing you have for real
And you’ll lose at the end of this deal
Cause blinders seem to hog onto your eyes
You can’t tell what’s true from a lie.