Archive for the ‘Painful Poetry’ Category

Like Before

I do not know how to express how I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this fire in here is awfully burning
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of disappearing
Not having to deal with any of this
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
I simply cannot take all of this shit.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

I do not know how to handle what I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this hatred in me is rapidly asphyxiating
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of self-injuring
Find a way to already be gone
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
Every day I face this all alone.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

The people who know me but do not call me
Will come to wonder what was wrong?
The people who are here, closest to me
Can’t give an answer for this, they have none.

They say if you speak about it, it will be easier
But I’ve been speaking about it for twenty long years
All of these problems are simply getting messier
I’m just peeling another layer of all the things I fear.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

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Amaurotic

This world crumbles
Crumbles down at your feet
Have you ever known?
Ever known of defeat?

The disarrayed poetry
That makes you feel high
That makes you feel complete
It’s nothing but a discarded array
Of supplanted supplemented supplies
Of apparent cosmic prophecy,
An exponential perfidious of
An illusionary romantic morale.

You’re emotionally amaurotic
Stoic to the fact that not always
You’re gonna hurt
This partial loss of your sight
Becomes part of who you are
Of how you feel inside.

This world crumbles
Crumbles in front of you
Have you ever known?
If any of this is true?

The intrinsic intention
Turns the right into obsolete
The distinctive effort to inert
It’s nothing but disjointed display
Of insufficient, insufferable insertion
Of palpable parables paraphrases
That deviates the real objective;
Forcing you into being subjective.

You’re emotionally amaurotic
Stoic to the fact that not always
You’re gonna hurt
This partial loss of your sight
Becomes part of who you are
Of how you feel inside.

Gamble the one thing you have for real
And you’ll lose at the end of this deal
Cause blinders seem to hog onto your eyes
You can’t tell what’s true from a lie.

Undetermined Reassessment

Undo what you’ve done
If that’s even possible
Wherever your roam
You do the unimaginable
I expect you to go up
And you dash way down
I expect you to erupt
But all you’ve done is blown.

In the middle of this island
With nowhere to go
Stranded here, you and I
With only each other.

Unsay what you’ve said
If that’s even feasible
Whenever you jeer
It seems so damn terrible
I expect you to improve
And you do the opposite
I expect you to move
But here you still abide.

In the middle of this island
With nowhere to go
Stranded here, you and I
With only one another.

It was only a matter of time
Until we got on each other’s nerves
We held as we could inside
All that the eye beholds and observes.

You and I, judging each other
Under our undetermined reassessment
You and I were
Like hugs to a brother
Like kisses to a lover
Like babies to a mother
Eye to eye, unlike another
Synonymous to similitude
Joined in by solitude
Until our strings began to unravel
And in our space we felt smothered
Deliberated in our divulgence
We served to the worse of our nature
And the friendship we’ve had nurtured
Began falling down into the abyss
With all the unnamed things that ran amiss.

Inspired on a friend. Kind of on his perspective too.

Cut Off

It’s written on the walls
In your own hand writing
In your own graphic blood
It’s your very own wiring.

For these lovers to be secretly in love
To make it rain, rain blood from the above
For all the laws we’ve broken in here
And all the vows that were given with fear.

If you cut off the cord
I swear to you, you’ll lose your way back home
If you give in to the absurd
I promise you, they’ll fill up your ass with their ***

It’s written on your face
In your very own staring
In your own curved ways
It’s your very own wiring.

For these lovers to run from the world
To make it there, where a boy could be a girl
For all the lives they’ve taken in here
And all the vows that were given with fear.

If you cut off the cord
I swear to you, you’ll lose your own distinctiveness
If you give in to the norms
I promise you, they’ll force up your lack of straightness.

You think that they’ll understand?
You’ll be surprise about their ever lack of
You’ve drawn these lines across the sand
So be prepared for a war you never asked for.

If you cut off the cord
I swear to you, you’ll lose your very self at once
If you give in to their words
I promise you, over your rotten carcass they’ll dance.

A Broken Man’s Show

Oh my life is an open book
A freak show
For everyone to laugh
For everyone to shake their heads
Cause I’ve made the wrong decision
Cause I’ve said the wrong thing
And I don’t know how to deal with all of this
That comes to me like a meteor shower
That comes to me like acid rain
Breaking on my bones
Burning on my skin.

To pretend to keep some privacy
To try to be the best I can be
But I always come short
And it’s so humiliating
As I drown in my sense of failure
Attacked by my low self-esteem
To be bitten by the snake of arrogance
And deny myself of my own fault
Should I open the door?
Should I leave it like that?
This room is getting filled
And there’s no air outside.

A sick world that’s trying to cure me
Trying to numb my human reactions
Trying to fill up their emptiness focusing on mine
A sea of so called therapists
A sea of so called friends
But in this darkness
I see no arm reaching for me.

I’m done complaining
Done looking for help
How can I fix myself this time?
Walk away from this hell?
To watch out for every action that I make
Make sure it doesn’t hurt the loved ones
Doesn’t hurt their fragile pride
But what about me?
They only stare to see past beyond
But never to see what’s inside.

Oh this might be an error
Oh this might be a lie
But you see, in my perception
It’s blurry in my eyes
As warped as I’ve made it
As defensive as it can be
To create consciousness for a few seconds
For a few seconds to make some understand
But like the wind that blows the dust in circles
We’ll be soon back again to where we stand.

Oh my life is an open book
A freak show
For everyone to laugh
For everyone to shake their heads
Cause I’ve made the wrong decision
Cause I’ve said the wrong thing…

It comes to me like a meteor shower
It comes to me like acid rain
Breaking on my bones
Burning on my skin.

Should I open the door?
(Maybe the exit lies beyond it)
Should I leave it like that?
(What about the unknown dangers?)
This room is getting filled
(And I’m asphyxiating)
And there’s no air outside
(Either way I’ll die).

Everything Has Gone Back to Normal

Everything has gone back to normal
And my blood it bleeds red
And how it aches
How it hurts.

Everything has gone back to normal
And my calls are not responded
All in a busy tone
All in a busy tone.

Everything has gone back to normal
And this silence is by my side
Greeting me with open arms
Greeting me again.

Everything has gone back to normal
And I feel like my usual self
So useless, so useless
Yeah…

The white empty space
A wide empty space
Nowhere to escape
I have awoken.

Everything has gone back to normal
The momentary happiness has passed away
Passed away
Passed away.

Everything has gone back to normal
Daydreaming seems so bliss
Like a bad joke
I don’t want to.

The wide empty space
Here in my chest
Here in my head
I was never completed.

Everything…
Has gone back…
To normal…
Sigh… The End…?

Under the Rain of my Eyes

All the time in the world is not enough
I’m always gonna love you
I’m always gonna miss you
I’m always gonna need you.