Archive for the ‘Sad Poetry’ Category

Like Before

I do not know how to express how I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this fire in here is awfully burning
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of disappearing
Not having to deal with any of this
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
I simply cannot take all of this shit.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

I do not know how to handle what I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this hatred in me is rapidly asphyxiating
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of self-injuring
Find a way to already be gone
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
Every day I face this all alone.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

The people who know me but do not call me
Will come to wonder what was wrong?
The people who are here, closest to me
Can’t give an answer for this, they have none.

They say if you speak about it, it will be easier
But I’ve been speaking about it for twenty long years
All of these problems are simply getting messier
I’m just peeling another layer of all the things I fear.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

Advertisements

‘Cause I don’t want to live without you…

For Every Time I’ve Lost You

Get me out of this misery
Cause I don’t wish to live without you
Cause everywhere that I look
I see the illusion of you.

What to do with the feelings you’re feeling?
When they used to be pure and carefree?
What to do now that the clouds have become grey?
What to do with this hurt that I feel every day?

Get me out of this misery
Cause I don’t wish to live like this anymore
Cause everything that I do
Is to be thinking of you.

Gray clouds gather, raining down on my face
And I don’t know what to do with all this space
Prepare myself to move on or fail in the process
How, when our lives used to be so full of roses?

This is dedicated to my children and the hurt I feel of knowing they’re so far away.

Justifiable Rage

I need this to hurt me
Cause I need to show you
How much it hurts
To see you hurting as well
The impotence
This fucking incapability.

If I don’t dig out all this shit that’s in my heart
This shit is gonna drag me even further down
Well, fuck all this distance keeping us apart
To these chains of restriction I’ll never be bound.

I need this to hurt me
Cause I can feel the pain
How much it destroys me
How much it destroys you as well
The unknowing
The ever fucking wondering.

You don’t know how angry, how sad
This makes me
You don’t know the frustration
All the things I wish I could say
I could do
To save you
Come here!
Come here!
Fuck the laws that keep us apart
I hate them!
I love you!
With my denying breath
I’ll always scream
You’re the light that keeps me alive!

Even though I’m trapped in this cage
I won’t give up as long as you love me
All this concern, this justifiable rage
Is fueled by the fact that you need me.

Apathetic Antipathy

She’s drowned her soul in popular opinions
She cannot read a map even if it’s on her favor
Lights a cigarette to fog in smoke the recollections
She doesn’t like the smell but she loves the flavor.

Her body’s precious but she gives it away to the public
She likes the attention; she likes all of the praises
Her broken wings make her image look less than angelic
She would sell her soul to find a heart that is virtuous.

Surrounding herself with vultures hungry for dead meat
She can dance with the flow but she doesn’t get the beat
Time for sleep, time to rest, high as a kite, there she goes
She can leave behind this universe but never her ghosts.

She’s kept herself to a shelter made of wood
She cannot see what’s ahead even if it’s up front
Snorts up the white dust cause it makes her feel good
She doesn’t like the mirror ‘cause it makes her feel runt.

Her life‘s precious but she gives it away for the applause
She likes the recognition; she likes all of the worship
Her distorted introspection makes her look like a lost cause
She’d trade off her salvation for someone to give a shit.

Surrounding herself with leeches thirsty for young blood
She spins around all day just to face fall on the mud
Time to party, time to live, low as her esteem, so it seems
She swims against the river but never its streams.

She’s apathetic with a survivor complex
Her antipathy burns like acid through anyone’s core
Self-medicating to subtract the effects
That alter her persona; she doesn’t know who she is anymore.

Overturn

Just another shot of this poison here
And I promise that by tomorrow I will quit
Just another drill of a hole in my veins
And I promise that by tomorrow I’ll be clean.

Something to kill the memories
That like monsters, keep torturing me
Something to appease my mistakes
Forget about all the lives I’ve hurt.

If I had to do it all over again
I’d probably fuck up things worse this time around
Cause I’ve never learned from my ways
And I’ve been getting too comfortable facing the ground.

Just another shot of this poison here
You know, just for old time’s sake and I’m done
Just another pile to channel through me
And I’d be good as new, set to fix what’s wrong.

Something to celebrate the present
To feel like I’ve accomplished a lot more
Something to drown all my resentment
Embrace the way I’ve grown bored.

But if I had to do it all over again
I’d probably flush down the toilet the good things as well
Cause I’ve never learned from my ways
I’ve been getting too comfortable living in my own hell.

I tend to overturn my own self
Cause I love to watch the pieces of my own life burn
Thinking; “this is not me, this is someone else”
Until I wake up the next day and my brain begins to churn.

crowd-reaction-crying

Thalassic Tears

All that we’ve fought about
Has been a farce
Has been a dream
How foolish of me to believe
That there could be light
In these darkened hearts
That there could be life
In the cold and silent
As they get drunk
In their wealth and power
Having us trapped
In their hamster wheel.

While we chant songs
About our hurt and loneliness
They’ll be cashing in
The incentives of their promises
Cause left or right
We are always directionless
And the ones to help
Will always stay there motionless.

Back into the river
Back into where we lie lifeless
Deep down at the bottom
With the broken and hopeless
Collecting aquatic scraps
For when the uprising comes
To be ready up in arms
To turn your kingdom undone.

So let’s not drown
In these thalassic tears
Let’s us stand ground
And go against our fears
Cause when tyranny tries
Taking our voices and rights
That’s when we fight it
With all our will and might.

girltophouse

Desolation

Distance is tearing us, my darling
Distance is killing us, my dear
And the weather is getting colder
Since I don’t have you lying here
And if I have to wait one more minute
One more hour, one more day
For you to come back to my arms
To my life, to this house, to our bed
To this place we call our home
You might find me old, tired, confused
And probably already dead
By the time of your return
You might find me lying lifeless
You might find me diseased
Cause every second that passes
My heart keeps drowning
My heart keep sinking in
Into the ocean of my very own lonely tears
And I need you darling
Yes, I need you dear
I need you right now, right here.

So come rushing in through that door
I cannot wait for you anymore
Cause I’m slowly slipping,
Softly crawling on the floor
Minute after minute
Little by little letting go
In the beach of our memories
Sitting by the shore
As I ache for your return
My skin begins to burn
My thoughts they turn
In and out and all around
And all I want to be
For you my darling
For you my love
Is be prepared and beautiful
Have the strength
To break this vicious cycle
To come across the other side
Safe and sound
To find peace within this inner storm
For when you come home.

So what are you waiting for?
What is it making you take so long?
While I’m here desperately waiting
Passing time alone
In this, our bedroom
Our sacred shelter,
where our love belonged
So here I hear only the wind whistling
The tick tock
of the hands of the clock
That for you it hasn’t stopped
Not like I’ve had
So as I press onto this message
And I write the final lines
Of this unusual, intricate, poetic prose
I ask you more directly
Have you come to your senses?
What do you have to say in your defense?
Is this the end?
I think I see the rolling credits
As they play that trailer song
So come on and tell me
That this is not so
Come rushing in, my dear
Come back to me, my darling
You have until the morning
You have before the sun.