Posts Tagged ‘a’

When your mind wanders off…

Scribbles on a Note

I wish I was better than this
I wish I could grow some confidence
Cause inside of myself, me,
And I, never trust enough to overcome.

I wish I was better than this
I wish I could believe what you tell me
Cause inside I, die, little by little
Trying to figure out the answers to these riddles.

It’s nothing that I haven’t said before
I’m just lying here in the corner
Crawling here on the floor
Trying to find the missing pieces
That could make myself complete once more.

Nobody wants you to be losing
But nobody likes when you win
They want you in between these two things
But I’ve always liked the extremes.

I wish I was better than this
Wish I could live a simpler life
*Sigh* What is there for me?…
If all that’s true turns into lies?

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A Broken Man’s Show

Oh my life is an open book
A freak show
For everyone to laugh
For everyone to shake their heads
Cause I’ve made the wrong decision
Cause I’ve said the wrong thing
And I don’t know how to deal with all of this
That comes to me like a meteor shower
That comes to me like acid rain
Breaking on my bones
Burning on my skin.

To pretend to keep some privacy
To try to be the best I can be
But I always come short
And it’s so humiliating
As I drown in my sense of failure
Attacked by my low self-esteem
To be bitten by the snake of arrogance
And deny myself of my own fault
Should I open the door?
Should I leave it like that?
This room is getting filled
And there’s no air outside.

A sick world that’s trying to cure me
Trying to numb my human reactions
Trying to fill up their emptiness focusing on mine
A sea of so called therapists
A sea of so called friends
But in this darkness
I see no arm reaching for me.

I’m done complaining
Done looking for help
How can I fix myself this time?
Walk away from this hell?
To watch out for every action that I make
Make sure it doesn’t hurt the loved ones
Doesn’t hurt their fragile pride
But what about me?
They only stare to see past beyond
But never to see what’s inside.

Oh this might be an error
Oh this might be a lie
But you see, in my perception
It’s blurry in my eyes
As warped as I’ve made it
As defensive as it can be
To create consciousness for a few seconds
For a few seconds to make some understand
But like the wind that blows the dust in circles
We’ll be soon back again to where we stand.

Oh my life is an open book
A freak show
For everyone to laugh
For everyone to shake their heads
Cause I’ve made the wrong decision
Cause I’ve said the wrong thing…

It comes to me like a meteor shower
It comes to me like acid rain
Breaking on my bones
Burning on my skin.

Should I open the door?
(Maybe the exit lies beyond it)
Should I leave it like that?
(What about the unknown dangers?)
This room is getting filled
(And I’m asphyxiating)
And there’s no air outside
(Either way I’ll die).

A Poet’s Struggle

Last night I listened to my heart’s beats
And it sounded like drops falling from a faucet
And I believe that it was secretly crying
But that’s a thing that I’ll keep from ever explaining.

Cause your face doesn’t seem like in the mood
And it aches inside but I’m not sure if I should
So instead I swallow it all, till the point I get sick
So you’ll think I’m an asshole, just a stupid prick.

So who truly understands the matters of love?
When one is hurt, all of it seems crudely lost
So would you smile and pretend that you’re not hurting?
No love, that’s another way of denying your feelings.

Last year I thought it’d be gone by now
But still we see ourselves under the law of this vow
And I can undo it if that’s what you wish
Cause I know you love your dinner served as a cold dish.

So today doesn’t seem to be a good day
And it aches inside not being sure of what to say
So instead I’ll swallow it all, till the point I’ll get sick
So you’ll think I’m a douchebag, another senseless dick.

It’s getting harder to be honest around you
It’s getting harder to spill my heart in front of you
And I bet that you’ll say you feel the same
So what gives? Has our trust become our shame?

We have our senses all against the wall
And our hearts hanging by a thread, waiting for a fall
So what should we do next? Please tell me, do say
Should we carry on like this or simply walk away?

Cause sometimes I will keep it all inside
Yes, sometimes I’ll swallow all the truth
Cause I’m afraid you‘ll abuse my pride
But mostly I’m afraid of ever losing you.

A Spellcaster’s Prayer

All the nights I’ve prayed to sky, to the stars
Certainly we have waited long for this day
Intensively looking for a way to call on you
Nothing was there to stop us from doing this
And those who tried were mercilessly disposed of
Tempted by your offer, I had no other choice
Agreeing to your poison, I ate of your apple
Slither here, inside my clothes, into my skin.

I promise to love you
If you promise revenge on those who have hurt me
I swear I will serve you
As long as you make those who have harmed me pay.

Cause you’re the most beautiful thing ever crafted
The most angelic being that has fallen from heaven
And your fire burns hotter than anyone can handle
But your sex, oh my god, it’s the best ever, EVER!

Light upon me, shine ever brighter
Ever brighter, like the stars in the sky
Bright forever, till the seal’s broken
Zephyr in your wings, I want to be
Under your wings I want to rest, baby
Light upon me, shine ever brighter.

I promise to praise you
If you promise to make me your queen, my wonder
I will give my life to you
If you promise me all that is here, above and under.

Cause you’re the most beautiful thing ever created
The most angelic being that has fallen from heaven
You’re the brightest of light that has ever been casted
And your secret is safe with me forever, my seven!

I will pray to you
Head bowed and everything
Give sacrifices to you
Blood, flesh, innocent children
As long as you touch me softly with those sick hands
And give me the strength to kill those who taught me harm
I want to watch them burn in the pits of your lake
Oh give me of your light, my lord, for my own sake.

Just a poem I wrote and decided to post it in here. It’s simple gibberish… or is it? LOL!

A Rag Man Con Mud Urn

 

You simply don’t Understand

We’re just dolls Being prepared for its homunculus Experiment

It never gets out of hand

It just Simple matter of triaL and Error until it gets completed.

 

You don’t need to believe in fairy tales

Oh, yes, they are here just to get you

Homo sapiens, Beasts out of males and females

Merging the view from the imagined and the truth.

A Journey to the Center of the Earth

A call have been casted from the walls
Can you hear it as it bounds through the hall?
An image like a mirage onto the mirrors
Through the looking glass I can’t see any clearer.

A shadow have stretched from my own
Can you feel it as it stares at you while you sleep?
A white light blinding me from the picture
A half made body trapped in a state of the living.

The dogs bark at me as I press on these words
Tracing the blood I dripped in exchange for the key
The girl with the scarlet dagger waiting by the door
Slitting the throat of the infants offered to owls.

Like clockwork, following time through the hole
Another vampire falling for sirens and snakes
To open the chest and torn down the seals
Freeing all of desires and the spirits confined.

The deep black water is on the rise
What was foretold has come to be
Enters the man with a peace offering
The number is up, the hour of reckoning.

A smile and a smirk suit for a prince
A flight to the skies, straight given to air
An eye in the sun, the triad, the glimpse
The darkest eclipse, the warmest of flares.

Right at the zenith of the six golden triangles
Sit all the architects of harpies and obelisks
Quoting lines of the Book of Forgotten Names
Hidden in rhythm, rhymes, symbols and sounds.

A Dreamer’s Dream

Anyone awake?
I’m still dreaming
How long will it take?
Should I keep waiting?

I never meant to be alone
Never wanted to do this on my own
I thought this would be like a family
Man, I have never felt so lonely.

I guess we all have to grow up
Does it mean giving up your dreams?
What are we supposed to teach to children?
To give up their passion and simply conform?

I never meant to aim for so high
Never imagined it would be out of my reach
I thought if I reached for the sky
It would add up to the things I would obtain.

I guess it’s time to give it up
I guess this means I must stop dreaming
What am I supposed to tell my children?
That they should’ve no passion and simply conform?

Cause I’ve been a child for far too long
Or maybe I never gave myself a chance to be one to begin with
Forcing myself to accept all that is wrong
Never gave myself the opportunity of believing that dreaming could be the right thing.