Posts Tagged ‘agony’

Dragging You Down

I’ve made my life a repetition
I’m going on in circles
Pain piercing through my skull
This hatred has gone dull
Keeping it like a ball
To bounce back at you
I’m so bored with the never ending
I’m so bored with all the promises
You dislike me
You’re fucking disgusting to me
And we go on and on and on
And it stopped being fun
A long time ago.

I’ve made my life a living hell
And I still cannot tell
What’s best for me
To kick you out of my life
Or to try to keep myself on the outside
I try once more and once more
And I feel like I’ve being mocked
Once more like before
Your indifference says so much
And sometimes I don’t care if you’re sick
Cause when I’m sick
You give me another reason
To hate all of this.

You’ve become a monotonous
Despise inside of my heart
Reject me, reject me
Give a chance to reject you
Lose for once
Make me make you lose
Instead of just being my desire
To see you where I am standing
Lose more, lose greater
Feel like how’s to be a loser
I’m sick of watching you win
So sick of watching you win
You never learn,
You haven’t had that kind of suffering.

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That Song That Plays in your Head
 
It’s in the way that you bleed
That makes me stare at you
It’s in the way that you bleed
That makes me want to be with you
It’s in the way that you bleed
That makes me relate to you
It’s in the way that you bleed
That makes me fall in love with you.
 
Share with me that voice in your head
Come slit my wrists and you slit yours
The devils in our heads will drive us
The abuses in our lives will kill us.
 
Give me a little piece, please
Share with me all the pain, the torment
It’s that white noise that dictates
Should I jump off that bridge or just push you?
 
I like the smell of you when you bleed
I like the look in your face when you bleed
I like the way you can’t contain yourself
And you need to stab yourself and let you bleed.
 
Back to that place of darkness in your head
Back to the people beating you down for no reason
Back to the emptiness of the love you should’ve had
And the happy childhood you should’ve lived.
 
It’s in the way that you bleed
That makes me stare at you constantly
It’s in the way that you bleed
That makes me want to take you away
It’s in the way that you bleed
That I wish… that I wish
That I wish…
I wish that I could’ve stopped all of this!
 
Poetry inspired on “Amanda White”. Who’s she? Every friend I’ve met whose been through some kind of abuse. Mostly inspired on a very good friend I used to have.
 
Adamant Indigo
 
Bound and broken
We were made to move along
A faulty design by the master
Rest a day ‘cause there more to come.
 
She says “I’ll follow whoever leads me out”
But I’ve been dragging on my feet for far too long
Not the paradise promised, veil the doubts
In a slaughterhouse, but I’m done to the bone.
 
Arrest me for these sinful thoughts
(Handcuff me, breasts pushed against the walls)
You always liked the smell of my perfume
(In my hair, as it surfs in the sea of the breeze)
These answers always buried inside your left pocket
Written on a note I signed with my name.
 
You can search for fingerprints if that abides
To the law that spewed off your tongue while we kissed.
 
She went into the car
And faced the other way
Engulfing disappointment
A shattered piece (of hope) pursuing in slitting her wrists.
 
She yelled “drive me to the pinpointed affection”
But in the map it couldn’t be found
She turned up the radio
Softly placing her head over the dashboard.
 
Who would have thought that when the bell chimed…?
There were no angels getting their wings…?
Whoever wrote this mystery novel…
Clearly never counted on a distressed damsel trying to find a happy ending.
 
Arrest me for these sinful thoughts
(Handcuff me, breasts pushed against the walls)
You always liked the smell of my perfume
(In my hair, as it surfs in the sea of the breeze)
These answers always buried inside your left pocket
Written on a note I imprinted with my signature.
 
You can search for fingerprints if that abides
To the way you twisted ‘round my arms while you kissed me.
 
(Can you feel…?)
The fragrant smell of roses
When it rains down, beneath these teary blue eyes
I love it when it dances
Round and round again, dizzying up with all your lies.