Posts Tagged ‘broken’

Consuming Fire

Fill this tank
‘Cause it’s empty
You faceless man
You used to have a name
Not mentioned anymore
Cause I’m too proud
And I’m too hurt
To even repent.

I knew from the beginning that this was going to fail
You told me over and over and over and over again
But I like the mistakes in a flavor that I can enjoy the taste
I’m drowning but my arms don’t reach out to be saved.

Leave me alone
But (please) don’t forsake me
Cause you’re in my head
And still cannot hear me
Bit my tongue
Before claiming anything
My pride
My anchor keeping my under.

I know of your existence and all of your righteous ways
But this outcast found a place where hurt is heard
There’s no more trace of you in the present world here
It has become the thing that you told me I’d most fear.

If you don’t reach me, I won’t attempt anything alone
I know that I need this, but I need to see my worth
You left an imprint in my soul, enough to hold me back
But you forget to place a filter when the sky turns black.

HngTree2

Broken Communication

I see you there, so close
But so impossible to reach
Through my HD screen
Impossible to feel your touch
And I’m dying a little inside
But I must keep this silent
For the sake of your happiness
Your happiness is my happiness.

I hear your voice through the phone
Imagining how much you’ve grown
It’s been so many days so far apart
And this has broken a piece of my heart
Every once a while I lose it
And I feel like ending my pain
Cause without you there’s no living
You were the reason I was created.

I wonder how much it’ll take
Before you forget me?
Before you forget who I am
Before I become useless
To all your needs, and your life
Before you come to realize
That in the distance you’ve learned
Not to need my presence anymore.

I try so hard, to reach you
I try so hard, to fix this up
But I let them stripped me off
Of the chances there were.
I apologize for my insufficient attempts
I apologize for being on the losing side
I apologize for no matter what I try
You’re never gonna here be by my side.

Little by little, I’m dying inside
And when the day comes
That you decide to walk away
That’ll be for me the end
So before that day comes
I just want for you to know
That I love you and always will
With all heart, my brain, my soul, and bones.

This is dedicated to some people I know. It’s self explanatory.

The Pattern

Come love me
Don’t ignore me
I need much more
Than anyone could
Come suffocate me
I can’t stand you.

Love me, love me
Hear me, hear me
I hurt and I scream
And I love and I hate
And I fuck things up
But if you come closer
Maybe, just maybe
No, just forget about it
This is fucked up!
Just go away!
Why are you leaving?
Fucking betrayer!

I’ll come to love you
I’m here to help you
Take care of you
But come one listen
Why are you ignoring?
Go fuck yourself!

My heart is broken
My heart loves you
I could never harm you
I wish that I could
Don’t ever mind that
I was just kidding
Why are you laughing?
You think I’m a joke?

Go fuck yourself!
Everyone’s the same
Always pretending
I’m here still waiting
For someone to love me
For someone to let me in
Don’t dare to touch me
You’re so disgusting!!!

This is the pattern
It’s not my fault
I didn’t built it
Don’t dare to break it
And say what it’s wrong
This is my comfort
This is my shelter
This is my world, my own!

amandawhite
This is a picture I did a few years ago inspired on a character for a novel I’m writing.
Her name is Amanda White.
In the novel she’s a singer-song writer and this is one of her songs.

Broken Engine

He said his machine needed an engine
He said he was the wheel and the fuel
But then he became the fire that burned
He ended engulfing the whole thing down.

And this night feels the coldest
The coldest that has been for awhile
And you think you were the coolest
In that year your trend was the style.

But your hands, as warm
As they might have been
They tear my skin off
Faster than they could get me out of these clothes.

And your kisses, as sweet
As they might have tasted
They were so violent
That they were imprinted like bruises on my heart.

He convinced me of the items he had in-stored
I felt like a little girl on Christmas’ day
But then some of the lovely gifts he had given me
Turned to mean toy soldiers oppressing the dolls.

And this season feels the hottest
The hottest that has been in years
And you think you are even hotter
Still to this day you won’t shed a tear.

But your hands, as warm
As they might have been
They tear my skin off
Faster than they could get me out of these clothes.

And your kisses, as sweet
As they might have tasted
They were so violent
That they were imprinted like bruises on my heart.

I’m not one of those objects
That you can buy, sell or exchange
I’m not one of those things
That you can custom-make or repair
The wheel in your head unscrewed
When your dream of machinery went astray
I’m not the engine that you told me I was
I’m just the button that you press and press and press until you break it.

All of this time…
You were the gasoline
Pouring out from your mouth
And for a while…
And you were the fire
Blazing out from your body…
And when you imploded
You blamed me for it.

But your hands, as warm
As they might have been
They tear my skin off
Faster than they could get me out of these clothes.

And your kisses, as sweet
As they might have tasted
They were so violent
That they were imprinted like bruises on my heart.

Broken People in a Broken World

And all this time I thought I was alone in here
And all this time I thought I was the only one feeling like this
And all this time I thought that my words were weird
And all this time I thought I was insane for thinking about death.

I was never liked
Or I was liked too much
A kiss from you is all dreamt of
And not the things a child shouldn’t witness.

And all this time I hid inside my own, without ever telling
And all this time I did drugs, cut myself and swallowed the pills with whisky
And all this time I felt too ugly, too stupid, too weak, too lost within
And all this time the world made me believe that I was wrong for feeling like this.

I was never loved
Or maybe I was loved too much
To hold me strong is all I wanted
And not for your fists to make my face bleed.

We are all broken people
Living in a broken world
Let the love you wish to experience heal you
Let the love you deserve, be one with your soul.

For Every Snake

You used to love me when I was beautifully powdered
You used to love me when I was so blind and bowing
You used to love me when I would follow you to the end
You used to love me when I would sweetened up the sour
You used to love me when my words were one of love
You used to love me when you have me stranded, had me stuck
You used to love me when you held my heart against the wall
You used to love me when I used to crawl, used to fall
You used to love me when my poems where of “good read”
When I used to praise you and all of your “good” deeds
You used to love me when my path would glow out the light
But you never told anyone you were against it with all your might
You used to love me when I would still fuck you in bed all night, so sweet
So I guess that all of your lovers, they do it better or have bigger dicks
You used to love me when I bite my tongues with all your abusing
Now you hate me cause you try to use me but it’s not working
You used to love me when I was you slave day and night
You used to love me when I used to forgive you for every time
You used to love me but now you love being treated like a bitch
You don’t have to love me, it’s just the way you wanted things to be
And no, I don’t trust in any females, even when I could be convinced that I do
Every one of them could be a backstabber, waiting for the time to be just like you
You used to love me but that’s how love works
One day it lifts you up to heaven and the other is throws you to the dirt
I used to love you but now I want you gone, dead
For all the love I once gave you is the one that now I do regret.

This I wrote today using an app on my phone, since my PC is broken. I hate typing on a phone. It feels unnatural. I don’t know if I’ve used this title before for another poem. Can’t remember all 2000+ titles. Thanks for the support. Enjoy!
 
The Impending End
 
The seconds to spare were wasted away by the anguish
All that you kept safe close to your heart will soon perish
All of the memories trapped inside the pictures becomes tainted
And the ones inside your mind they turn into heavy burdens.
 
So you have to wash away the sum of what you tattooed in the muscles of your heart
And throw away everything that you locked inside the box of your soul
Each big and tiny detail of what you wanted to treasure forever
Are the ones you have to get rid off
For they no longer affix to your happiness, but to your grief.
 
Time will heal all wounds, but it will take time
And though it might sound redundant, is one of the most brutal of the honest of truths
So all of your choices at hand are either to strangle your hopelessness by drowning your despondency or drinking through it
You’re scraps of what you used to be once
One day is like a thousand glasses shattering, collapsing at you with sharped edges
It cuts through your skin, through your self-esteem, through your health
You’re trying to kill what it’s killing you but it’s murdering rate surpasses yours.
 
So then you try to erase yourself faster than this slowing pace
And you take a dozen pills down with a dozen drinks
Expecting it will have any effect
Hoping it will ease the pain somehow
But all you’re left with is a huge heartache and drunk-fool tears
That later turns into a headache and a heavy nonsensical fear
Just to latch yourself even deeper inside the walls of your shell
And you run with scissors, praying to slip and tumble
Playing fire with dynamites and pulling pins out of grenades
Wishing instead you’d play “think fast” with knives with your ex wife.
 
Still all of these morbid reveries won’t ease the burden on your head,
in your heart, on your shoulders and back
And yet under all of this rocky debris of unlikelihood, there’s a faint glimpse of hope
That things miraculously will get better, and that someday, somehow she’ll be back.
 
Days go in and by
You realize it’s the end of it all
Nothing more to do about it
But to call it quits and fasten your frail body, be ready for the evident fall
Come crashing face down
Nothing but weeping and pouring your tears out
There’s nothing funny about grieving
Nothing to laugh about someone’s suffering
Everybody hurts somehow, in some ways, one day or the next
All we need is time, and space but above it all, what we need most, is love and support.