Posts Tagged ‘children’

That Muscle Called the Heart

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
It’s the most beautiful and heart-breaking thing I’ve ever seen
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I imagine where you are, maybe out there in the mall or enjoying the sun in the beach.

This road here is leading nowhere, I’m stuck in the same place
When I first came I promised my love I’d overcome all this pain
Now I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, the end of this race
And I never amounted to anything, and I have nobody else to blame.

So when will, if ever, this show finally close its curtains?
I’ve exposed my life to the point that everyone knows a piece of me
Don’t you know I want to run and be like it was in the beginning?
With the innocence, and a smile and the hope that everything will fix itself.

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
Reminding everything I’ve lost, and how lost I have been
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I wish I could be for you a good example, but the distance won’t allow me to teach.

You’ll only know what they’ve told you about me
The only person that you’ll have missing in your life
Oh, my children, you don’t know much I wish to have you here with me
But instead I have to confront this endless loop of strife.

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Under the Rain of my Eyes

All the time in the world is not enough
I’m always gonna love you
I’m always gonna miss you
I’m always gonna need you.

Facsimile Amalgamation

Obsessively in love with you
‘Cause you’re a part of me
The only part I love
The only part that’s missing
And there you are alive
Looking for a way to get back to me
Crying, cause you’re lost
And you wish for me to get you.

This poison inserted in me
By the snake and his minions
Is keeping me hindered
Held in chains and frustrated
But here at the distance
I can hear your voice cry
I can hear you weeping
Begging for me to come and rescue you.

Obsessively in love with you
‘Cause you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
Definitely the kindest
And there you are alive
Looking for a way to connect with me
Be a part of me again
To be whole and completely happy.

These walls put up for me
By the devil and all his slaves
Are impeding my aid
From your pain and your needs
But here close to me
I can hear you voice cry
Deep within my heart
I can hear your heart pounding and loving.

Nothing that I say
Can save you from this suffering
It will never be okay
For you to still be hurting
And it kills me like nothing else
Not being able to help you
Wish I could do undo this curse
And be right there with you too.

This is dedicated to my children and the hurt I feel of knowing they’re so far away.

Justifiable Rage

I need this to hurt me
Cause I need to show you
How much it hurts
To see you hurting as well
The impotence
This fucking incapability.

If I don’t dig out all this shit that’s in my heart
This shit is gonna drag me even further down
Well, fuck all this distance keeping us apart
To these chains of restriction I’ll never be bound.

I need this to hurt me
Cause I can feel the pain
How much it destroys me
How much it destroys you as well
The unknowing
The ever fucking wondering.

You don’t know how angry, how sad
This makes me
You don’t know the frustration
All the things I wish I could say
I could do
To save you
Come here!
Come here!
Fuck the laws that keep us apart
I hate them!
I love you!
With my denying breath
I’ll always scream
You’re the light that keeps me alive!

Even though I’m trapped in this cage
I won’t give up as long as you love me
All this concern, this justifiable rage
Is fueled by the fact that you need me.

From the perspective of a child…

lonely-boy

Isolation Permeates

How could you do this to us?
Abandon us and leave us to our luck?
Do you regret any of this?
Do you wish you turn back the clock?

You went out to serve your own needs
You went away for your personal journey
But you have forgotten about your seeds
We need you more than we need your money.

You have nothing to explain to me
The details in the actions you’ve taken
Speak out so much more loudly
Speak a lot clearer than your own sobbing story.

How could you do this to us?
Leaving us both without any of you?
Do you regret any of this?
Wasn’t there anything else left to do?

You went out to find your own freedom
You went away in search of your inner self
Is it worth the consequences of your decision?
As you watch the ones you love vanish away.

You have nothing to explain to me
Save the grey reasons for another day
Can you image how lonely I felt?
When I needed you, you weren’t there.

So, you have nothing to explain to me
The details in the actions you’ve taken
Speak out so much more loudly
Speak a lot clearer than your own sobbing story.

These are the things that no matter how much you explain
Will never remove all the guilt, all the hurt, all the pain.

Authentic Love

Your love raises me up to the heavens
Your love raises me up to the sky and the stars
and the sun and the whole constellations and even beyond
Such a tiny little heart has such an immense feeling
enough to fill up my old broken heart with a new promise
To hear from you the words “I love you.”
Makes me want to be the greatest person
Makes me want to be the greatest man
and protect you for always from any harm.

You stood there waiting for me to respond
I didn’t even know what was going on
By the time I realized your hands trying to reach out
I tried to grab on them, as you were leaving
but you said “I’ll come back later”
and we can spend the time we were denied before
I hold to those words, and wait for that moment
Giving meaning to this never ending time cycle.

You with your authentic love
As innocent as your innocence of childhood allows
Your words become actions
And I imagine your arms around me, hugging me up
Don’t ever let go
Even if a millions miles of streets are in between
My heart is your home
And your heart is where my love will always live on.

HngTree2

Broken Communication

I see you there, so close
But so impossible to reach
Through my HD screen
Impossible to feel your touch
And I’m dying a little inside
But I must keep this silent
For the sake of your happiness
Your happiness is my happiness.

I hear your voice through the phone
Imagining how much you’ve grown
It’s been so many days so far apart
And this has broken a piece of my heart
Every once a while I lose it
And I feel like ending my pain
Cause without you there’s no living
You were the reason I was created.

I wonder how much it’ll take
Before you forget me?
Before you forget who I am
Before I become useless
To all your needs, and your life
Before you come to realize
That in the distance you’ve learned
Not to need my presence anymore.

I try so hard, to reach you
I try so hard, to fix this up
But I let them stripped me off
Of the chances there were.
I apologize for my insufficient attempts
I apologize for being on the losing side
I apologize for no matter what I try
You’re never gonna here be by my side.

Little by little, I’m dying inside
And when the day comes
That you decide to walk away
That’ll be for me the end
So before that day comes
I just want for you to know
That I love you and always will
With all heart, my brain, my soul, and bones.