Posts Tagged ‘difficulties’

In Spirit

I’m lost
Where’s my light?
I’m looking for it
As it is looking for me.

All this road
Has me tired
Will it give up on me?
As I given up on it?

You wish you could save me
As I wish I could save myself
I wish I could give you
Give you the love I cannot give myself.

All this love that I feel is overwhelming
To give it away until I’m completely empty
Just to suffer ‘cause I wish you were here with me
But I can feel you, only in spirit.

I’ve lost
My will to fight
Is there anything
Else out there for me?

All these wounds
Have me wounded
Will I ever truly heal?
Enough to help others?

You wish you could save me
As I wish I could save myself
I wish I could convince you
All the things I won’t believe myself.

All this love that I feel overtakes me
To give it away until I’m completely empty
Just to suffer ‘cause I wish I could be there for you
And yet I could, but only in spirit.

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Waiting in Line

It is like I was once told
In order to make it you have to be tough-skinned
I don’t think I can uphold
All of the promises I made for myself as a kid.

Cause years come by, and burst out
And I’m still trying to figure it all
Trying to make sense of what is about
(Before the day comes) when I have to face the fall.

I’m in a fantasy realm
Where I can tail chase my dreams
Afraid of facing the real world
Where I’ll never get to reach them.

I’m waiting for the signal fire
I’m waiting for the fire alarm
I’m waiting for that call, so dire
While my heart grows tired and worn.

This will eventually break me
I wasn’t designed to deep sleep.

I’m still here, waiting in line
Hoping next they’ll call my name
Maybe this time I’ll get mine
And all of this wait won’t be in vain.

I’m in a coma state of mind
Where I can dream of what’s inside
Afraid of facing the world outside
Where I’ll only get to watch them die.

I’m waiting for the signal fire
I’m waiting for the fire alarm
I’m waiting to fulfill these desires
While my heart lies twisted and torn.

This will eventually break me
I wasn’t designed to deep sleep.

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This is an English translation of a poem I wrote in Spanish.

The Road to Be Walked

Here in my tarnished cage
Smelling of urine and excrement
Here in my golden cage
With my secret banquet served
The night, it hurts
As the moon and the stars light up the sky; the heavens are glowing
How much he longs to return
To when he was feeling that pain in the flesh; to that mourning.

Here in my obscene verses
Semi-dark and so beautiful
It feels like resting on the breasts
Of a beautiful muse, it’s so comfortable
Oh, mother, how I miss being one of your children
Oh, father, how I long having a home to come to
I never imagined I would’ve become a foreigner
Of such things I always intended to hold on to.

Here in my royal King size bed
Sleeping like a baby in his crib
But the soul does not comply with what stated
It refuses to follow any rules, God forbid.
It won’t bow down before such majesty
It only bows down to gather all of its tears
But its eyes won’t look straight at the travesty
Admitting such grief; this, you’ll never hear.

There in its rusty cage
Full of dust, unsteadiness and parasites
There’s a certainty enraged
Groaning its complaints at the usual rites
This evening will be one of hurting
As the hours make fun at the end of the dawn
How it wishes to give up that waiting
To what was that feeling of bleeding, to hide its face against the pillow, to mourn.

Feelings transcends art, but I found art the best way to express feelings.
 
Hurting
 
When honesty becomes a trend
You find yourself lying to your teeth
Hurting the ones you love the most
Cause you don’t want them to know your deep dark secrets.
 
But all I’ve given you is real
But inside of my soul I don’t know what’s the deal
Sometimes I feel like it’s a dream come true
And someday it feels like I’m prolonging the impossible truth.
 
So when you say you’re happy
And you sing those songs of love
I hurt inside praying I won’t ever hurt you
Cause sometimes all I want to do is run away, never to return
And that last line isn’t about you
You’re the only thing that makes me happy
And I can see you’re ready for this
But I fear that I’m gonna fail miserably.
 
This doesn’t mean I don’t want to be your friend
And it doesn’t mean that I don’t wish to love you like always
But I think there are better things for you
Out there, in this world, than this broken excuse of a human being.
 
And you’ve inspired me in ways I never would’ve imagined
And you’ve made me feel things I thought I’d never feel again
And you’ve invaded in my head and in my heart
But I think it’d be unfair for me to keep you locked here forever.
 
So if there’s a glimpse of a chance for you to be happy with somebody else, closer to where you are now
I’d say take it, and fulfill all your dreams and hopes and longings
I’m not rejecting you, nor am I saying that I no longer want you with me
I’m just saying that this distance extension seems to get ever extensive
And you, you need someone closer to you, to hold you, caress you and truly be able to take care of all of your needs.