Posts Tagged ‘distance’

A new Amanda White poem

To New Wonders

Drifting away
By the faintest of winds
You’re a sway
Mesmerized by signs
You see at the distance
As acts of God
A divine augury
A silent thunder voice
Pulling you in
And out into the wilderness
Where your breed exists
Or so you think
When they wave their flags
And shake their asses
In such a patrimony way
The kind you like
When thinking of going astray.

Did they embrace you
With arms wide open?
Did they look at you
Like “Here comes another
Fugitive hiding from the forces
Which has driven it to this place;
Now he carries strange fire with him”?

When you bet your all to new wonders
You end up with owing more than you can ever bargain
When your head gets lost and starts to wander
Sometimes it leads you to places that you should refrain.

Swaying away
By the faintest of breezes
Somewhere out there
Mesmerized by lights
You see at the distance
As calls from God
A heavenly omen
An exclusive holy whisper
Pulling you in
And out into the unfamiliar
Where your “family” breeds
Or so you think
When they flutter their banners
And wiggle their asses
In such a patrimony way
The kind you like
When thinking of going astray.

Did they welcome you
With smiles in their faces?
Did they look at you
Like “Here comes another
Derelict hiding from the forces
Which has driven it to this place;
Now he carries foreign disease with him”?

When you bet your all to new wonders
You end up with owning more than you can ever bargain
When your head gets lost and starts to wander
Sometimes it leads you to places that you should refrain.

How long would you stay this time around?
I hope you do until you find your own comfort
Soon I’ll be seeing you with long face and luggage
With an excuse on how you grew bored of them.

Well, you bet it all to these new wonders
You ended up owing more that you could ever bargain
So your head got lost and started to wander
And so it led you to a place that you should’ve refrained.

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Facsimile Amalgamation

Obsessively in love with you
‘Cause you’re a part of me
The only part I love
The only part that’s missing
And there you are alive
Looking for a way to get back to me
Crying, cause you’re lost
And you wish for me to get you.

This poison inserted in me
By the snake and his minions
Is keeping me hindered
Held in chains and frustrated
But here at the distance
I can hear your voice cry
I can hear you weeping
Begging for me to come and rescue you.

Obsessively in love with you
‘Cause you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
Definitely the kindest
And there you are alive
Looking for a way to connect with me
Be a part of me again
To be whole and completely happy.

These walls put up for me
By the devil and all his slaves
Are impeding my aid
From your pain and your needs
But here close to me
I can hear you voice cry
Deep within my heart
I can hear your heart pounding and loving.

Nothing that I say
Can save you from this suffering
It will never be okay
For you to still be hurting
And it kills me like nothing else
Not being able to help you
Wish I could do undo this curse
And be right there with you too.

This is dedicated to my children and the hurt I feel of knowing they’re so far away.

Justifiable Rage

I need this to hurt me
Cause I need to show you
How much it hurts
To see you hurting as well
The impotence
This fucking incapability.

If I don’t dig out all this shit that’s in my heart
This shit is gonna drag me even further down
Well, fuck all this distance keeping us apart
To these chains of restriction I’ll never be bound.

I need this to hurt me
Cause I can feel the pain
How much it destroys me
How much it destroys you as well
The unknowing
The ever fucking wondering.

You don’t know how angry, how sad
This makes me
You don’t know the frustration
All the things I wish I could say
I could do
To save you
Come here!
Come here!
Fuck the laws that keep us apart
I hate them!
I love you!
With my denying breath
I’ll always scream
You’re the light that keeps me alive!

Even though I’m trapped in this cage
I won’t give up as long as you love me
All this concern, this justifiable rage
Is fueled by the fact that you need me.

Authentic Love

Your love raises me up to the heavens
Your love raises me up to the sky and the stars
and the sun and the whole constellations and even beyond
Such a tiny little heart has such an immense feeling
enough to fill up my old broken heart with a new promise
To hear from you the words “I love you.”
Makes me want to be the greatest person
Makes me want to be the greatest man
and protect you for always from any harm.

You stood there waiting for me to respond
I didn’t even know what was going on
By the time I realized your hands trying to reach out
I tried to grab on them, as you were leaving
but you said “I’ll come back later”
and we can spend the time we were denied before
I hold to those words, and wait for that moment
Giving meaning to this never ending time cycle.

You with your authentic love
As innocent as your innocence of childhood allows
Your words become actions
And I imagine your arms around me, hugging me up
Don’t ever let go
Even if a millions miles of streets are in between
My heart is your home
And your heart is where my love will always live on.

HngTree2

Broken Communication

I see you there, so close
But so impossible to reach
Through my HD screen
Impossible to feel your touch
And I’m dying a little inside
But I must keep this silent
For the sake of your happiness
Your happiness is my happiness.

I hear your voice through the phone
Imagining how much you’ve grown
It’s been so many days so far apart
And this has broken a piece of my heart
Every once a while I lose it
And I feel like ending my pain
Cause without you there’s no living
You were the reason I was created.

I wonder how much it’ll take
Before you forget me?
Before you forget who I am
Before I become useless
To all your needs, and your life
Before you come to realize
That in the distance you’ve learned
Not to need my presence anymore.

I try so hard, to reach you
I try so hard, to fix this up
But I let them stripped me off
Of the chances there were.
I apologize for my insufficient attempts
I apologize for being on the losing side
I apologize for no matter what I try
You’re never gonna here be by my side.

Little by little, I’m dying inside
And when the day comes
That you decide to walk away
That’ll be for me the end
So before that day comes
I just want for you to know
That I love you and always will
With all heart, my brain, my soul, and bones.


Emotional Correlation

My eyes are set out waiting for them
Both my eyes are all set out waiting for them
But in the meantime the present disappears
She’s been here awhile waiting for me to see
Waiting for me to say hello
Waiting for me to accept her love
To accept her arms of comfort
When she says; ‘I’m here for you, love.”

I am…
Waiting to catch up with the past
While the present slips away
I’ve been…
Longing for the ones I’ve lost
Ignoring the ones that are present.

My heart is wide open and bleeding
Here my heart is wide open and bleeding
Begging for heavens to mend it somehow
By my side she says; “let me help you out”
And she waits for an answer
And she waits for a moment
Where I can open up my eyes
And see I’m not completely alone.

I am…
Trying to catch up with the distance
While the here slips further away
I’ve been…
Longing for the ones I miss
Missing out on the ones that are here for me.

My heart is divided in two
But how can I love one and not love the other?
One crafted from my heart
And one ready to mend it and fill it up again.

This poem is dedicated to my children.

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A Phone Call across the Distance

How much time should I stay away?
How much time should I stay in silence?
How much distance is enough for this?
How much time should pass before I walk in?

I have nothing to offer but words
I have no way to prove them true
But have faith that you’ll believe them
And never forget how much they mean.

I tried to lay my pain upon you
I ignored the fact that this is not your weight
Trying to teach you how much a wound hurts
When you’re hurting, alone, in silence, as well.

How much time can I take this?
How many days do I have to wait?
How much distance they want before
The adults realize this is way too much to take in?

I have nothing I can do but pray
Beg god would help me someday
While I see you getting even farther away
As the children of evil take advantage.

I tried to explain these things to you
Ignoring the fact that you have your own problems
And that you’re too young to deal with any of it
I know you’re hurting, alone, missing me as well.

Thanks for reaching out
When the circumstances tries to cut us down
I’m sorry if I scream and shout
I’m trying desperately to demonstrate you what my love is about
But you’ve already figured it out
I guess is the way for God to tell us
That he’s always watching over us.

I’m just a phone call away
And if you need me to I’ll run to pick you up
When you grow older, and tired of this distance
I’ll be right there for you in an instant.