Posts Tagged ‘heart’

That Muscle Called the Heart

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
It’s the most beautiful and heart-breaking thing I’ve ever seen
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I imagine where you are, maybe out there in the mall or enjoying the sun in the beach.

This road here is leading nowhere, I’m stuck in the same place
When I first came I promised my love I’d overcome all this pain
Now I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, the end of this race
And I never amounted to anything, and I have nobody else to blame.

So when will, if ever, this show finally close its curtains?
I’ve exposed my life to the point that everyone knows a piece of me
Don’t you know I want to run and be like it was in the beginning?
With the innocence, and a smile and the hope that everything will fix itself.

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
Reminding everything I’ve lost, and how lost I have been
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I wish I could be for you a good example, but the distance won’t allow me to teach.

You’ll only know what they’ve told you about me
The only person that you’ll have missing in your life
Oh, my children, you don’t know much I wish to have you here with me
But instead I have to confront this endless loop of strife.

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Foretaste
(Written on July 15, 2016)

And so it came like a ray of light straight from the skies
And so it likes you like nobody else and you ask yourself why
And so you open up cause you seem to like what it offers
Why does everything end up like this, and one again suffers?

And so this might be it, this might be the chance to get lucky
And so you give all that you have to give, and it seems alright
And so the stars are brighter than usual, cause you feel ecstatic
But then things turn around, day turn to night, shutting off the lights.

And so the pieces, they’re being put together, one by one
Cause now you smile like you haven’t done in so many years
And so you begin to realize that this might that someone
Until that something starts to break apart and bring up tears.

What is wrong with me, that everyone in this life seems to leave?
Is it something I’ve said? Is it something I did? Why does this always happen?
And so I stare at the sky, and ask in a prayer, as I struggle to believe
Am I just a waste of time? Why won’t anyone care? Why can’t I be happy?

Cause you don’t need the forecast of a foretaste
When all that you want’s the real deal that comes together
And you don’t want to think about what you’ve wasted
Waiting for someone, waiting for something forever.

Another poem by fictional character Alexander Silver

Celestial Bodies

I was a star in your sky
When did the night become so dark?
I was a spark in your eye
When did a stone replace your heart?

I was born to love you
You were born to reject me
But there was that moment
That twilight that time shifted.

I was the X in your map
When did you give up finding treasures?
I was the link amid the gap
When did you start burning bridges?

I was born to adore you
You were born to think less of me
But there was a moment
That twilight that time shifted

We are celestial bodies
I am the sun and you’re the moon
And when you wane and wax
I can rest calmly in your arms.

We are two celestial bodies
Me, as the sun, you, as the moon
And when we come together
Our light shines so bright
That it blinds the Earth.

I was born to be with you
I am certain you were born to be with me
Let’s be civil, let’s be nautical, let’s be astronomical
Yes, let’s our bodies merge into an Eclipse.

‘Cause I don’t want to live without you…

For Every Time I’ve Lost You

Get me out of this misery
Cause I don’t wish to live without you
Cause everywhere that I look
I see the illusion of you.

What to do with the feelings you’re feeling?
When they used to be pure and carefree?
What to do now that the clouds have become grey?
What to do with this hurt that I feel every day?

Get me out of this misery
Cause I don’t wish to live like this anymore
Cause everything that I do
Is to be thinking of you.

Gray clouds gather, raining down on my face
And I don’t know what to do with all this space
Prepare myself to move on or fail in the process
How, when our lives used to be so full of roses?

This is a picture I drew and painted

Phronemophobic Girl

“Come sit next to me
And tell me a bedtime story
One that helps me sleep, serenely
Spare the gory details
I don’t want it to be scary
You know, some ghosts
They tend to haunt me permanently.

Cause when tomorrow comes
And you walk out that door
Then I’ll be here all alone
Sitting on the floor, waiting by the phone
Cause when I’m left alone
I’m left alone with all my fears
And I try to keep, I try to stay strong
But some of these monsters become real.

So when you arrive from work
Will you be ready to hear me out?
When you come in through that door
Will you be willing to hold me still?

If I tell you all of my feelings
Would you be willing to listen?
If I tell you all how it was
Would you help me deal with them?

Maybe together we’ll find the cause.

I know it’s best not to speak of this at dinner
Or while you’re kicking off your shoes and stretching out
Do you think we could address it, maybe after?
There a few things I wish we could talk about.

Do you think you can? Would you be able?
Or would it be best not to speak about at all?
Would it be good just to keep it under the table?
And like scraps of our lives feed them to the dogs.

If I tell you how I am feeling
Would you be willing to listen?
If I tell you all how it was
Would you help me deal with them?

Maybe together we’ll find the cause.

Cause when I open up
I’m left with these tangling pieces
The shell I wear begins to erupt
And the fear in me increases.

So when you come to bed with me
And start reading me that story
Spare the parts that might seem scary
They might haunt me permanently.

Cause after tomorrow
When you walk out that door
To drive off to your work
I’ll be here all alone
With all these shadowy crippling fears
And though I’m trying to keep strong
Some of these monsters become real.”

How everything is not what it seems, sadly. Wrote this a few weeks ago.

The Color of Your Words

Pink to yellow
Then red to black
And back to blue
And there’s something about you
Might as well take advantage
But not in the way most people think.

All I can see is
You cannot see me
All I can sense is
That I’m invisible
Naked to the eye
Of those who love me
Naked to the eye
Of those I see through.

Pink to yellow
Then red to black
And back to blue
And there’s something about us
Might as well speak it out
But I won’t do for certain reasons still.

All I can see is
You cannot see me
Not in the way
I wish to be seen
Naked to the intention
For those who love me
Naked to the intention
For those I love too.

I’m floating in a space that’s private
In a sky that I’m not allowed
Thinking of reaching to a person
That doesn’t want to be reached
At least not by me
By the world
But not by me
I’m invisible in this imaginary state.

The color of your words
Sometimes I think they glow for me
But just when light hits them
Hallucinating it has something to do with me being here.

In this game of chance, sometimes all you have in your cards is a losing hand. I wrote this a few weeks ago.

Losing Hand

On, and off
It’s like a switch
And I’m not sure
Of how I feel about it.

It’s like a pressing
In my chest
It feels so beautiful
I feel so miserable.

Put a wall in front of it
Put a wall around it
Am I alone in this?
Am I alone in this?

On, and off
It’s like a switch
And I’m not sure
Of what to do with it.

It’s like a pressing
In my chest
It feels so different
I feel so imprudent.

Put a stop to all of it
Put a stop to all in all
I feel alone in this
Am I alone in this?

I don’t know what to make of it
I don’t know how anything like this can be possible
Wake up from a dream to become a nightmare
And realize all of this time I was all alone.