Posts Tagged ‘hurt’

Amanda White

Bloody Mary

Mary Mary
Bloody Mary
Pray to god
That I bleed this weekend
Cause if not
We would have to answer
For our actions.

You transmuted your heart of gold into lead
When you transfixed your soul into a stone statue
Your carnal desire and your compassion
Have been fighting one another
Baby, one day you’re a lover
Other days you’re a fighter
But not only have you’ve been fighting your shadow
But you’ve been fighting everything
Everyone else that’s around you
And you should be careful throwing punches
You might hit someone you might not want to.

Mary Mary
Bloody Mary
Ask the mirror for revelation
Cause if you cannot see your own reflection
Then we have to stop
This vampiristic passion.

You rearranged that wide space in your head
And filled it up with impossible standards and lunacy
And like the word implies, must be the moon
Cause now you’re howling and looking to hunt down
Whoever gets in your way
But I’m not your enemy
I may be the prey in your eyes
And thought you can feed off my flesh
Please leave my heart unscarred.
I’ll sing you lullaby, if that’s what you required me to do.
Come rest calmly in my arms
Sometimes a man needs a shelter
A woman to confide his fear of
Being alone, and feeling vulnerable.

Mary Mary
Bloody Mary
I’d give you of my virginal juice
If in exchange you share of your tainted heart
Let me the one to fix it
Pain has taught me of its mechanics.

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Twin poems. Two poems, both start the same but end up differently. By Ryan Lyandree

The Fragmented

You know you want me
You know you need me
And you want and you need
And you go around in circles
Wanting and needing
And not loving yourself
To say “stop”
But me, I’m not here
To tell you this
But to embrace you
To congratulate you
And to say
“Let’s go”
Yes, I will love you
Like no one
Has done before.

Cause my filthy hands
Purify with the touch of your body
So let me please you one more time
Let me be that floor for that gap
Let me be that bridge,
That cornerstone
That pinnacle,
That someone
That somebody
That structure to hold you still
When you feel like your world’s falling.

You know you want this
You know you need this
To disguise the emptiness
With sudden sexual moments
A vehicle to cut through the pain
A conduit to electrify the heart
But I’m more than a spark
And so are you when shining
Embrace the light
Life has given you
Embrace all the passion
The love, the energy
For you are far from being alone
When you have me.

Cause my naughty thoughts
Purify with the touch of your soul
So let me hold you one more time
Let me be the floor for that gap
Let me be that bridge,
That cornerstone
That pinnacle,
That someone
That somebody
That voice to reassure you
That you’re loved and that everything will be okay.

All of nothing
Never settle for less
Either in or out
The exception is when it heat

Allow me to be the one to tell you
How much you’re worth
More than anyone else
Has ever told you before.

The Opportunist

You know you want me
You know you need me
And you want and you need
And you go around in circles
Wanting and needing
And not loving yourself
To say “stop”
Because your body demands it
Because the gap is wide open
Loathe and desire becomes one
Isn’t it sweet when the rest comes in?

We take advantage of this situation occurring
As any other individual in this position would
Who would let go of this golden opportunity?
To apply to as much fuel and fire as one could.

After the carving of the soul
And this heart deforestation
Comes in the endless self-loathe
But I’d be gone for this occasion.

For the next time
I’ll find you here…

You know you want this
You know you need this
To strangle the emptiness
With sudden sexual moments
A vehicle to drive through the pain
A conduit to electrocute your fears
Because your heart rejects it
But your body embraces them
Welcome hidden spirits as such
To sacrifice another non virgin.

We taste of the apple ‘cause the fruit is ripped
As any other fervor longing luster here would
Who would lose the chance to be the opportunist?
When the path is clear to do as much as one could.

After the drilling of the body
And the inner gardening
Comes in the self-discomposure
But that party I won’t be attending.

So, until the next time
I’ll you see then…

Taking advantage of you
As you’re taking advantage of me

You know you want me
You know you need me.

Taking advantage of this
As you’re taking advantage of us.

Because your body demands it
Because the wound is wide open
Loathe and desire becomes one
Isn’t it sweet when the rest comes in?

Nothing here
Nothing there
Feeling fully alive
While being completely dead.

The Bridge

So many beautiful songs written after we broke up
So many beautiful tunes I could’ve dedicated you
But I don’t want to go back to what made us miserable
Cause there’s no way we are getting back to good.

You couldn’t fix my heart
No, you couldn’t save me
You said that wasn’t your job to do
But all I wanted was for you to be the one thing
That could pierce through the darkness
That could bring light to my life
But I put on too much weight
I put too much pressure, and you couldn’t have that.

We burned down the bridge
The things we built together
Now our memories abridged
To feel like this, again is never.

So many beautiful songs written after we broke apart
So many beautiful words I could’ve dedicated you
But I don’t want to go back to what made us desolate
Cause there’s no way for us to undo the damage done.

I couldn’t fix your heart
No, I couldn’t save you
You said that you never intended that for me
But all I wanted to be for you was the one thing
That could reach you through the sadness
That could bring love to your heart
But you pushed me too aside
You closed the door shut, and I couldn’t have that.

We burned down the bridge
The things we built together
Now our memories abridged
To feel like this, again is never.

So many beautiful songs written that I will never get to sing
So many beautiful tunes that we will never hear together
So many beautiful words that I will never get to dedicate you
All the love that I can’t hand you because it’s no longer wanted.

I can’t rely on the past
I can’t rely on the now
And that we once had
It’s gone, broken down.

We burned down the bridge
The things we built together
Now our memories abridged
To feel like this, again is never.

Again is never
Again is never
So many beautiful things
Gone, broken down
Again is never
Again is never
Again is never
Never…

I’ve written a lot of poems lately. This one is dedicated to the people who deserves better from others.

Unfair Disadvantage

The best of us
Given to the ones
Before us
Given to the ones
Who pushed us
Against a wall
And now us
Given no choice
We give less.

You might say it’s okay
But I can see the light of day
It’s not as bright
as it used to be.

To try and make it right
After making it wrong for so long
How can you go back?
How can you restitute trust and honesty?

The ones after this
Will have an unfair disadvantage
The burden of our emotional baggage
Our pseudo love and short string of caring.

What was bent and broken,
How can you go making it okay again?
When the cracks are still visible
And the needle still stings
Is there such a thing as forgiveness?
For one and for others
Is there such a thing as to let go?
And if so if there’s a way
To go back and feel okay again
Without a hint or a reminder
Of how bad it used to it
To consequences of repeating it
The fear and the wall up
Are we ever to believe?
Are we to restitute that trust?
In ourselves and in others.

The ones that come next
Will have an unfair disadvantage
The burden of our emotional baggage
Our pseudo love and short string of caring.

I wrote this thinking of someone who was once important to me.

A Scratch and A Sting

So when you drive your friends to the airport
Do you think you will have time to get back to your date?
So when the clouds they set down the pour
Do you think that the rain will save you from your fate?

How many visits would you need once in the hospital?
As you bleed down the one thing that made you beautiful?
All the nurses are you girlfriends, but that loop is rhetorical
Don’t you think that puking all that glitter is quite pitiful?

When the devils rape the angels
Do you think that you’ll finally win this beauty pageant?
Always to save no other than your face
I turn the nob but the room is empty…

So when you fly with your friends to other countries
Do you think you will have time for the promises you made?
So when the shadows they set down the pour
Do you think that your message will save you from your fate?

How many windows would you need once in the hotel?
As you bleed down there, there are not enough towels
All the nurses are your friends, but your loss is hysterical
Don’t you think that flushing that cord is simply quite cold?

When the devils rape the angels
Do you think that you’ll have time to cash in and run?
Always to save no other than your ass
I turn the nob, open the door, but no one is here…

I stood for you long enough and now it’s time to leave
Don’t forget to come around and pack up your things
I left you the instructions on love, you should read them
Don’t call on my phone, I’m not gonna pick up, it’s over.

This is the first time I write something or say something addressing about how I feel after hearing about my son’s condition. It’s been a week today since that horrible message appeared on my phone that Saturday morning.

The First Step

I think it’s time to open my heart
And reveal all these hidden scars
Like it or not, nothing I can do
For how long will I keep things from you?
My audience might be only God
Or maybe the thoughts in my head
But I have to do this, no other choice
No matter if inside I feel dead.

I’ve been searching for the things I’ve been feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for all of the right words
Four breakdowns in less than a month
I don’t know how much I can withstand, I can uphold.

When I heard the phone rang,
I knew it was bad news
I woke up with my heart in my mouth
My biggest fear has finally become true
And I don’t know if there’s a God
But everyone has been asking me to pray to it
For all that I knew then I have forgot
And my faith isn’t exactly what it used to be.

I’ve been searching for a way to describe the feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for a time to say the right words
Do you think that any time I will be healing?
Do you think that this tragedy will make it much worse?

This is the way I channel my emotions
I have finally found a way to try to let go
As I attach myself to every motion
Of all the things that I now know
I see evil in the faces of those who always were
And the light still hasn’t reached for me
I find kindness in the words of strangers
It’s something I never expected to be.

I’ve been searching for a way to express how I’m feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for a way to let you all know
Do you think that any time now I will start healing?
Do you think that this life has a way to turn things around?

This is what a friend of mine would call a “vomit” poem. This is based on the many stories I’ve heard.

ĜøĐ

I know she sold her soul for a taste of a kiss
But all she got was the taste of his fists
She was twisted, now she needs to be torn
So he unleashes all the hell of his storm
She would get on her knees to pleasure him
But he wants more of that choking fun
She feels so dirty, tries to wash off her sins
All he fucking cares about it just to come.

A couple of lonely hearts with their faces splashed in coke
Sour pints, what a night, in and out, fate is just a joke
She looks my way and winks, but I nod and shrug upon
This is not my story; I’m just a watcher, so go and carry on

I know that through these lens evidence’s kept
But she wants to burn it all and just forget
She was abused, now she needs to be disposed
So he grabs the laces and has her roped
One punch to the mouth to have her teeth in
And he cannot stop from unleashing it all
She feels the pain, her swollen chest starts to sink
But this fucker’s having a blast, having a ball.

A couple of warped souls with their livers full of booze
Chalked lines, what a day, out and in, life is just to lose
She looks at me and weeps, but I nod and frown upon
This is not my problem; I’m just a voyeur, so carry on.

Up in the sky, the road may be different
But down here we dance, and not mind
Angels on the middle looting, participating
I may be g0d but I would also like to unwind.