Posts Tagged ‘hurting’

Under the Rain of my Eyes

All the time in the world is not enough
I’m always gonna love you
I’m always gonna miss you
I’m always gonna need you.

Consuming Fire

Fill this tank
‘Cause it’s empty
You faceless man
You used to have a name
Not mentioned anymore
Cause I’m too proud
And I’m too hurt
To even repent.

I knew from the beginning that this was going to fail
You told me over and over and over and over again
But I like the mistakes in a flavor that I can enjoy the taste
I’m drowning but my arms don’t reach out to be saved.

Leave me alone
But (please) don’t forsake me
Cause you’re in my head
And still cannot hear me
Bit my tongue
Before claiming anything
My pride
My anchor keeping my under.

I know of your existence and all of your righteous ways
But this outcast found a place where hurt is heard
There’s no more trace of you in the present world here
It has become the thing that you told me I’d most fear.

If you don’t reach me, I won’t attempt anything alone
I know that I need this, but I need to see my worth
You left an imprint in my soul, enough to hold me back
But you forget to place a filter when the sky turns black.

Severance

And this earthquake will be felt by the people such as I
And when it comes and I won’t be able to see eye to eye
I’ll be bowing my head, while tears roll down my face
‘Cause I’ll be feeling that this chaos I’ve had embraced.

And the fragile mind will stay in shock as they lie in awe
And my hands will tremble, and my heart will surely drop
I’ll be cursing myself, while my fast press against heaven
‘Cause I’ll be feeling that the balance’s unfairly uneven.

And nobody else will truly understand how to reach with my hands
And rip my heart out in order to show the world how much I hurt
And when that time comes my thoughts of suicide might double
‘Cause this while will feel like I’ve wasted it just lying in the dirt.

I can’t find a way to convince myself that it will be alright
‘Cause I know in my heart of hearts that it will bring much more sorrow
And by then I’ll realize that this leading light isn’t as bright
It’s just a veneer to make you believe that there’ll be a better tomorrow.

This is dedicated to my children and the hurt I feel of knowing they’re so far away.

Justifiable Rage

I need this to hurt me
Cause I need to show you
How much it hurts
To see you hurting as well
The impotence
This fucking incapability.

If I don’t dig out all this shit that’s in my heart
This shit is gonna drag me even further down
Well, fuck all this distance keeping us apart
To these chains of restriction I’ll never be bound.

I need this to hurt me
Cause I can feel the pain
How much it destroys me
How much it destroys you as well
The unknowing
The ever fucking wondering.

You don’t know how angry, how sad
This makes me
You don’t know the frustration
All the things I wish I could say
I could do
To save you
Come here!
Come here!
Fuck the laws that keep us apart
I hate them!
I love you!
With my denying breath
I’ll always scream
You’re the light that keeps me alive!

Even though I’m trapped in this cage
I won’t give up as long as you love me
All this concern, this justifiable rage
Is fueled by the fact that you need me.

Phasma

Posted: February 6, 2017 in Loss Poetry, Painful Poetry
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Phasma

I’ve tried to make amends with the ghosts in my head
Yes, I’ve tried all that is humanly possible to atone
But how are you to make peace with the dead?
When you are still here and they are long gone?

Prison of Rage

So this here, you see is what you’re tired of
So this here, you see is what’s gotten you sick
So this here, you see is what I’m made of
So this here, you see is what it’s full of shit.

When I close my eyes, they won’t go away
Even when you’re not here, they just stay
You think I just can shush them away
But they just stay with me every day.

Feelings of loathe and low esteem
Surrounds me to the point I’m trapped
You don’t know how it is, has been
For me to feel like I’m caged like an animal
In this place inside my head
Where I cannot escape
No matter how much I run
How further I move on
I always end up in the same place
Confined in the prison of my rage
Wishing I wouldn’t feel this pain.

Leary

Posted: November 17, 2016 in Painful Poetry, Struggle Poetry
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Leary

Will you stay there crying?
Forever and ever?
For what it was done?
For what they did?
Some pieces
They might seem lost forever
Some pieces
Torn and stolen
And even in death
You still breathe
Forever entrapped
In an enticing cycle.

All we need is forgiveness
All we seek is revenge
And though we might
Think that we are any better
And though we might
Think that we are any worse
We’re just a spark flickering
Wishing to shine like the sun.

Will you lie there inert?
Forever and ever
As the sand in the hourglass
Slides up and down
Some pieces
They might seem lost forever
Some pieces
Torn and stolen
And even in death
You still breathe
In a never-ending reminder
Of a past life.

You fell in love with angels
As demons damaged your heart
Prayers to a distant God
That seems deaf to our pleas
Late to our aid
In the contort of an ongoing healing
One step forward, two steps back
When will the repairer fix the engine?