Posts Tagged ‘issues’

Settle

Stop with the drama
I don’t think I can deal with this anymore
Let the dead be dead
Don’t undug that grave anymore, no
Let time pass you by
And the tears run down your face
And let the screams
Go past through your ears
Do not flinch
It’s everyone’s fault what has happened
The pain we have caused
Is the pain we have caused
I don’t want to be responsible
For your lack of understanding
I’ll only be responsible
For the things I have done
So stop with the drama
I don’t want to deal with this anymore
And let the dead be dead
I won’t go back to that place anymore
May this be my end or not
May this be the end of the road
May be anything, anything at all
I know I’m not to be blamed responsible.

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Whose Fault Is It?

Have you ever felt invisible?
Like nobody sees or hear you?
Like no matter what you do
Great, good, bad or awful
Nobody ever applause your achievements
Nobody ever acknowledge your existence.

You feel like screaming your lungs out
You feel like doing something drastic
You feel like closing yourself in
You feel like nothing will change this.

And you try to be productive
Try to come up with beautiful words
Try to come up with a beautiful melody
Maybe break off from this apparent depressive state.

And then you say “to hell with it all”
And you drown yourself in alcohol
Hide yourself behind all the smoke
And drive careless towards the end of the road.

And when you seek for advice
Your friends are nowhere to be found
And when you look for higher things
There’s no response from above.

You tried it all not to feel like this
You really tried to make yourself notice
You asked for help and took your pills
But you still can’t help but feel like utter shit.

So in one last attempt you open yourself up
To see if someone else can relate
You end up in ever more disappointment
Cause it seems like no one else has ever felt the same.
Or maybe they’re just pretending
Whatever may be the case
They’re simply not there
When you need someone to let you know they care.

So when you take matters into your own hands
And make an ultimate decision, whatever those thoughts are
Whose fault is it when you end up with blood on your hands?
When from the beginning you’ve been told
That alone you were born
Alone you will always live,
Alone at the end you will die
Who to blame when you did what you have to do in order to survive?

Trust Issues

I fear of loving you
But when I do, I do love you
I’m afraid of keeping it real
Cause when I do it is for real.

I fight with all of my hurt
I want to give you my heart
Get away, give me some space
Please, don’t ever leave from this place.

Let me scream, and vent out, and storm burst
Let me hold you, kiss you and love you once more
I’m always imploding, but I’ve been bottled up
Would you be that soothing hum to calm me down?

I fear of this life
But when you’re here I’m alive
I don’t like myself
But when you do, I’m so happy.

I fight with my insecurities
I want to give you my trust
Come here, don’t ever let me go
Please, don’t ever leave me here alone.

Give me a second, and I’ll stab all my issues to death
Please hold me, and tell me everything will be okay
I’m always running away in my mind, love
Would you be that place where I can rest my head on?

I yell, and I scream and I rip the paint off the walls
Please be my shelter for my heart, the haven for my soul
I’ll keep all of the demons of my past in their jail
Promise me I won’t have to suffer again for loving like I do.

I don’t mean to have these trust issues
But I do, and I can’t help it, baby
I don’t mean to yell and scream like I do
But I feel broken, left to feed the ravens.

I wrote this in the way I used to write back when I was 15 years old… Almost 2 decades ago… lol!

Panic Attack

Wake up!
It’s all in your head
Invisible, visible
It’s all made believe.

The one you love
The one who loves you
The joy and the agony
You’re just dreaming.

The name you have
The person you are
It’s all pretended
You don’t exist!

Wake up!
It’s all been lie
Life, death
Nothing is real!

The days you confront
The issues you deal with
All in all
They’re just a dream.

The life you have
The person you have become
It’s all pretended
Open your eyes and see!!!

Familiar Spirit

A familiar spirit is in this room
You can sense it when you breathe
Not even the sheets and curtains can disguise it
The four wall madness follow its destination.

Ghostly awful feeling crawling up my spine
It’s like everything’s topping up and rails out of line
And these hands can just do as much
But what to do when things are as such?

The dreams locked down in the back of my head
Reveal to me the things that I tend to forget
Is it a safe thing to let go and move on?
Or am I another monster denying its own truth?

I can’t be at ease with whatever is broken
Just because I dust it under the rug again
Not even this confession can fix all that is bent
Not even my hands can keep safe what I tried to hold together.

If there was a pill that could clean all the stains off of my life
If there was a drug that could glue it all back again
If there was a way that I could fix all that I have broken up
If my tears were enough to convince the people I hurt how sorry I am.

It’s not okay and I don’t think it will ever be
To walk around with a scarlet knife and a smile on my face
Don’t drive me to that place where I hurt like I’m hurting
I don’t want another example of the consequences of the events I myself began and continue pressing upon endlessly.

The Day We Realize Life

Everything is so beautiful
When everything is automatic
But when you stop to think of details
You begin discovering their flaws
Hand picking things that will poison your heart
Giving reasons to corrupt all of the pure love
Feeling empty, all the struggle, a mistake of the past
Thinking we have live all our lives just like that
All of the damage someone else has caused us
We pass it on the next person who’s trying to love us
Causing the waves to grow big enough to drown
Whatever real intention there was to overcome
And now left stranded with that idea of our own
We suggest the next victim they should learn to become mind readers
A test that if they fail in the first few tries
Well, we’ll be waving goodbye to their sailing lives
Turn around the tables, turn around the cards
All that we are feeling inside is somebody else’s harm
You didn’t do this to me, as I didn’t do this to you
We are just beginning to learn from each other
And if we make mistakes along the way we shouldn’t feel like we don’t have any worth
Cause life is trial and error
Whatever we like it or not
And I do believe forgiveness is beautiful
Is the glue that keeps us together
Just like love does
Sometimes all I wish from people is a simple smile
Sometimes all I wish from you is a simple nod
A simple agreeing method
In order for me to relate
Not to sense a cold shoulder
Cause I didn’t understand the first time you explained
I don’t know where I am going with this
This here that I’m trying to say
All that I know is that I want to feel the peace
And the love that I’m trying to give you
The world won’t end if we change our patterns
The world won’t end if we scratch a line in our scripts
Sometimes we have to let go our working methods
In order to reach the person that is next to us
That is if that is what you want to do
That is if you are ready to sacrifice
To lower down your defense system
And open up enough to be fragile inside.

Irrelevant

You welcomed me into your haven
Who would have thought that it would turn into a hell?
Enough proof, there’s no such thing as heaven
For the next time somebody promises things will be well.

Ungrateful? Well I’ve been called worse
I’m gonna let this life run its course
It’s time I get away forever
If this doesn’t work, I’m gonna pull the lever.

When speaking of death, one must begin with oneself
All of the insanity behind the words of love within yourself
Research your thoughts before I come spitting at me
Sick of no one admitting their flaws, never apologizing for their mistakes.

Focus your attention on your personal issues
Your pointing your finger way too close to my face
If you wanna cry your fears out, go buy some tissues
I was the one standing there, but then you pushed me aside.

When speaking of life, one must bite their tongues in
How’s the taste of blood, confuses you when you’re dizzy
Is not my fault that everything went down the shitter
I’ll only accept putting the pressure where the wound still is.

If there’s no way to fix it
It’s because you want it to be broken
So sick of leaving things like that
It is not my fault you enjoy the wound bleeding.

Hell is a one way ticket
If I don’t live in peace, I’ll take measures in my own hands
Hell is a one way ticket
I’m only afraid of hurting you by taking my own life…