Posts Tagged ‘Life’

This is the first time I write something or say something addressing about how I feel after hearing about my son’s condition. It’s been a week today since that horrible message appeared on my phone that Saturday morning.

The First Step

I think it’s time to open my heart
And reveal all these hidden scars
Like it or not, nothing I can do
For how long will I keep things from you?
My audience might be only God
Or maybe the thoughts in my head
But I have to do this, no other choice
No matter if inside I feel dead.

I’ve been searching for the things I’ve been feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for all of the right words
Four breakdowns in less than a month
I don’t know how much I can withstand, I can uphold.

When I heard the phone rang,
I knew it was bad news
I woke up with my heart in my mouth
My biggest fear has finally become true
And I don’t know if there’s a God
But everyone has been asking me to pray to it
For all that I knew then I have forgot
And my faith isn’t exactly what it used to be.

I’ve been searching for a way to describe the feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for a time to say the right words
Do you think that any time I will be healing?
Do you think that this tragedy will make it much worse?

This is the way I channel my emotions
I have finally found a way to try to let go
As I attach myself to every motion
Of all the things that I now know
I see evil in the faces of those who always were
And the light still hasn’t reached for me
I find kindness in the words of strangers
It’s something I never expected to be.

I’ve been searching for a way to express how I’m feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for a way to let you all know
Do you think that any time now I will start healing?
Do you think that this life has a way to turn things around?

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This inspired on the sea of women out there, specially the ones I’ve met.

The Orange Atmosphere

A pink tone over your skin
Soon to be black and grey
In secret
Eyes seemingly skyward
Until it becomes a fact
For pleasure
Side by side, centered
Bless be the ones who can read
Between the lines
Double meaning
It’s a necessity
Created to cease the itch.

Nobody’s speaking about love
Unrequired to touch that topic
But then again
Whatever words are to describe
The way that you tear up
For a second
The hourglass, up, down
Bless be the ones who crave more
Behind an intention
Natural selection
It’s common sense
An agreement of sorts but…

Not much needs to be said
Eyes clinging onto another’s
Blue, red, purple
An overseeing result
A beautiful attire
Less is more, in this case
Don’t mind the relation
Gender is not required
Animal attraction
Polar magnetic field
It’s meant to be
Hell burns as such, because…

Moving pictures
Another digital sound
Prison of souls
Collected by voyeurs
Touch is better, best
An organic organ item
A deductible disappointment
Pour it up and pour it out
Regrets to be added later
For the time being
Liquid desires
Turning vapor
An endeavor
The heat, the heat, the heat
The door’s open
If willing to get in
Wolves in packs
Hunger comes first
Time to feast.

I took a break from writing poetry in English and I wrote this one in Spanish. No worries, the English translation is after the poem.

Si Tan Solo Pudiera

Cómo quisiera decir algo que te haga pensar que estoy bien
Cómo quisiera decir algo que te haga poder ver todo bien
Si mis palabras tuvieran el poder de cambiar las circunstancias
Creo que te daría mi amor a manos abiertas.

Cómo quisiera acortar las distancia con tan solo mi pensamiento
Cómo quisiera poder robar tu atención y todo tu aliento
Si mis palabras tuvieran la habilidad de poder cambiar las cosas
Creo que te daría el mundo entero, mi bella rosa.

Cómo quisiera que el viento trasladara estas palabras
Cómo quisiera que el tiempo tan solo por un momento se detuviera
Si poder escribir este poema significara salvarte en todo tiempo
Creo que te daría mi alma entera solo por verte sonriendo.

Cómo quisiera que de un brinco poder caer a tu lado
Cómo quisiera de tu ser por siempre estar enamorado
Si poder leerte esta poesía me permitiera robar tu corazón
Creo que te daría mi existencia solo por tener esa ocasión.

Si tan solo pudiera
Sabes que ahora lo haría
Si tú me lo permitieras
Yo mi todo por ti daría.

If Only I Could

How I would like to say something that makes you think I’m fine
How I wish to say something that makes you able to see everything well
If my words had the power to change the circumstances
I think I would give you my love at open hands.

How I would like to shorten the distance with just my thoughts
How I wish I could steal your attention and all your breath
If my words had the ability to change things
I think I would give you the whole world, my beautiful rose.

How I would like for the wind to transport these words
How I wish that time could stop just for a moment
If writing this poem meant saving you at all times
I think I would give you my whole soul just to see you smiling.

How I would like with a jump being able to get by your side
How I wish of your self always be in love
If reading this poetry would let me steal your heart
I think I would give you my existence just for having that chance.

If only I could
You know I would do it now
If you would allow me to
I would give my all just for you.

It has been years since I have written anything like this. Yesterday after almost a decade I wrote this. It’s inspired on the songs I used to write when I was in a band years ago.

Artwork

Don’t think about the past
Don’t think about the future
Just enjoy the right here, right now
Cause you only live once and pain is sending remote control missiles
So sail away, my dear friend
Set your ship to new horizons
No worries, you’ll eventually find dry land
Yes, one day you will find a place to spear your flag and call your own.

So when did life become so complicated?
The day you decided to read between the lines
How much time in this lifespan have you dedicated?
I think it’s time to let those silly lines blur.

Don’t think about what they’ll say
They will speak no matter what
Just enjoy the chance you’ve been blessed with
Cause every once a while the bite in the ass will be at the corner waiting
So walk away, my dear friend
This war has become a thing of legends
No worries, you’ll find a way right through it
Yes, one day they’ll tell the story about how you overcame every challenge.

So when did life become so convoluted?
The day you decided it wasn’t enough to be satisfied
How much of your breath in passing things you think you’ve wasted?
I think is way past time to feel mystified.

Cut the shackles while the warden is sleeping
You can get far away if you start running now
The lock is unlocked and the gates are wide open
No laws of restriction can bound you down now.

So when did your life become so damn difficult?
The day you decided to raise the stakes and not take them on
How much of your energy you think will be left before you resolve?
I say let the damn fears for the wolves to choke on.

Ryan Lyandree

Prajna

Inhale
The warmth of your heart close to mine
Exhale
The touch of the blood turning to wine.

Calm and collected
Betwixt the storm
Channel your energy
Begin to transform.

Drink up
And never get drunk
Never thirst
Well of never ending supply.

Confined in the center
Outside of these walls

Inhale
The warmth of your soul fusing with mine
Exhale
The touch of the love willing to entwine.

Transfixed, quiet, still
Athwart the trials
Transfiguring my will
Riding the spiral.

Eat up
And never get sick
Never hunger
Garden of unremitted amounts.

Compassed in the axis
Boundaries expanded.

Embrace the inner senses
Share of the fruit
Multiply
Fill up the planet
Append, affix, conjoin
We’re all but one body.

Ryan Lyandree

Rune Spiritualis

Egeo…
Aliquid…
To calm this constant hunger, like a newborn baby, crying to be fed
To keep me from the dangers, like a child afraid of the dark spaces
To elevate me from this state, like a sinner on a spiritual awakening
To take me even further, like an explorer lurking for the undiscovered.

Days come in and the moon comes out (Lunae clara)
All I ever wanted is your sweet voice calming down
Days come in and the moon comes out (lunae novae)
All I ever needed is your presence being close around.

Cupio…
Aliquid…
To calm this constant anger, (something) to call off the storm
To restore and levitate me, towards the silver rivers and golden roads
To wash off all that’s muddy, (something) to imprint a brand new name
To turn the page for the next chapter, something a lot closer to the end.

Days come in and the moon comes out (Lunae clara)
All I ever dreamt of is staring at your beautiful face
Days come in and the moon comes out (lunae novae)
All I ever hoped for is for the entrance of this new day.

Mother
Your light brought me into this world
Father
Reach with your hands and I’m yours
Perfect in its way
You have created your own true form
Transmutation of the self
One with the universe I am reborn.

Egeo
Cupio
Completionem
Perfectum
(Gninnigeb eht ot kcab og-ti rof gnivarc seno eht ot)

A very personal poem


A Voice Starting To Grow a Face

The words from your voice
Became the voice in my mind
And I kept feeding it and feeding it
Until it became the only thing I could hear

You put these monsters on front
I was the one who turned them into demons
You offered me disappointed in myself
I was the one who signed the pact and agreed on it.

Now that you’re gone
I keep having these thoughts as my masters
I feel whatever they want me to feel
And live by their law that I’ll always be worthless.

As I kept fighting your lies
Deep inside I started believing they were true
And now when I look at the mirror
I can only see the rejection, disgust and judgment.

‘Cause as you said; “this world is threatening”
“be careful who you trust in this life”
“they will break your heart and you will be nothing”
“you can only count in yourself and no one else”
I began realizing that this voice is starting to grow a face.

And with your indifference and lack of love
I learned that you were special as you screamed “You are not!”
I’m here to break the pattern, to undo the loop
This hierarchy of madness and violence stops right here.