Posts Tagged ‘Life’

A Broken Man’s Show

Oh my life is an open book
A freak show
For everyone to laugh
For everyone to shake their heads
Cause I’ve made the wrong decision
Cause I’ve said the wrong thing
And I don’t know how to deal with all of this
That comes to me like a meteor shower
That comes to me like acid rain
Breaking on my bones
Burning on my skin.

To pretend to keep some privacy
To try to be the best I can be
But I always come short
And it’s so humiliating
As I drown in my sense of failure
Attacked by my low self-esteem
To be bitten by the snake of arrogance
And deny myself of my own fault
Should I open the door?
Should I leave it like that?
This room is getting filled
And there’s no air outside.

A sick world that’s trying to cure me
Trying to numb my human reactions
Trying to fill up their emptiness focusing on mine
A sea of so called therapists
A sea of so called friends
But in this darkness
I see no arm reaching for me.

I’m done complaining
Done looking for help
How can I fix myself this time?
Walk away from this hell?
To watch out for every action that I make
Make sure it doesn’t hurt the loved ones
Doesn’t hurt their fragile pride
But what about me?
They only stare to see past beyond
But never to see what’s inside.

Oh this might be an error
Oh this might be a lie
But you see, in my perception
It’s blurry in my eyes
As warped as I’ve made it
As defensive as it can be
To create consciousness for a few seconds
For a few seconds to make some understand
But like the wind that blows the dust in circles
We’ll be soon back again to where we stand.

Oh my life is an open book
A freak show
For everyone to laugh
For everyone to shake their heads
Cause I’ve made the wrong decision
Cause I’ve said the wrong thing…

It comes to me like a meteor shower
It comes to me like acid rain
Breaking on my bones
Burning on my skin.

Should I open the door?
(Maybe the exit lies beyond it)
Should I leave it like that?
(What about the unknown dangers?)
This room is getting filled
(And I’m asphyxiating)
And there’s no air outside
(Either way I’ll die).

Undefined Infinitely

Stuck in time and space
In this vast nothingness
Floating infinitely
Towards the endless gap
Nothing but a black veil
Around and beyond
No day or night
No stars, no sun.

Absurdum Excedunt

Void, when the spiral closes
Just a vast of endless darkness
Like being buried in charcoal
But gravitationally weightless.

When all science fails
And the conclusion’s flawed
All of the mathematical method
Spurs like blots across the drivel.

Incongruent and inconsistent
Where’s the strict impeccable exposition?
For those who are dull minded
Like moths drifting towards the bright.

Eternity and energy in a fragile vessel
How can you sustain such accumulation?
Myths and mysteries drawn in numbers
Where the true enlightenment slumbers.

Singular Purpose

Dimwits own the world
Damn the day they were given a voice
Dumbfucks rule it all
Damn the day they were given a choice.

“So much potential wasted
Contained in my low self-worth”
She says to me with tears on her eyes

I’m self-destructive
My arrogance is brutally honest
Fuck the god in all of us!
As useless as the one above this world.

My agnostic thoughts contrast my belief
How can I be another stupid atheist?
This knowledge cannot fill the gap in my soul
I’m feeling the fragility of being a human.

Share my story in order to gain wealth
Make me useful, sell my soul to y’all
I don’t care, take it, just take it all
Free me from this excessive freedom/boredom!

I cannot find my singular purpose
To rape all of you with my every lie
Come, come out and give me the choice
Maybe I need to feed the shadow inside.

To make peace with the demons that lurk
And accept the things I cannot change
I’d be bending spoons, but all I have is a fork
Which I use to stab the nerves in my brain.

Inexorable

Oh, it shaken me
Like a big storm
I felt it on me
Like a premonition
Out of the depths
Coming from the lengths
With furry,
In flashes,
In great speed
Knocking me off
This gallows
I was hanging from.

Face down the ground
I’ll rest here awhile
As the crowd steps over me
Best to die by a hoard
Than to die by the claws
Twisted enough to
Bend their own fingers outward;
The ones who wishes to dissolve
The ones who wishes to dissipate
The once centered focus of
All of the things that are right
All of the things that are wrong.

My mutation of a name
Is not a result of a miscalculated
Alchemy attempt, no
It’s just the bastard,
Almost aborted son,
Of the many fathers
And many mothers
Who have whored
As I bowed down
Before their presence
Knowingly the crookedness
And end results.

Wind blow me again
The Widow still calls my name
For so many lives
I have sacrificed, trying to figure out
How to relate to the human race
How to become more of a god
I feed on, and I rape all sense of sympathy
For my excess and for my lack of humility.

Everything Has Gone Back to Normal

Everything has gone back to normal
And my blood it bleeds red
And how it aches
How it hurts.

Everything has gone back to normal
And my calls are not responded
All in a busy tone
All in a busy tone.

Everything has gone back to normal
And this silence is by my side
Greeting me with open arms
Greeting me again.

Everything has gone back to normal
And I feel like my usual self
So useless, so useless
Yeah…

The white empty space
A wide empty space
Nowhere to escape
I have awoken.

Everything has gone back to normal
The momentary happiness has passed away
Passed away
Passed away.

Everything has gone back to normal
Daydreaming seems so bliss
Like a bad joke
I don’t want to.

The wide empty space
Here in my chest
Here in my head
I was never completed.

Everything…
Has gone back…
To normal…
Sigh… The End…?

Inarticulate Jumble

You never read my words
Unless they’re arrows aiming at your pride
I find it to be pretty absurd
Having to rip your chest like that, out wide.

You feel like saliva in my drink
Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t even touch that cup
Words dig deeper as they sink
You read on my riddles, trying to figure what’s up?

Insults are disguised as praises
Not wise enough to slip it in any other way
Obstacles always come in phases
But this one has stayed since before yesterday.

You never read my words
Unless they’re axes chopping off your head
I find it all straying inwards
When I hurt myself, I make another feel dead.

You feel like smudge on my mirror
Sometimes I hate this face I am wearing in here
Words cannot describe the horror
Can you figure out between lines all of this fear?

I’m the viable vial to poison you
Not deep enough to make through and through
Temptations call upon our names
But I know this one is the one that put us to shame.

I’ll tear your skin and put it over me
As I tore out my heart to make you understand
‘Cause words they cross to make it all unintelligible
Where no reason for reasoning can truly land.

‘Cause my words are inarticulate jumble
That you have no time at all to figure out
I wish that in my pride I was more humble
Yet in your ignorance you won’t know what it’s all about.