Posts Tagged ‘Life’

That Muscle Called the Heart

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
It’s the most beautiful and heart-breaking thing I’ve ever seen
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I imagine where you are, maybe out there in the mall or enjoying the sun in the beach.

This road here is leading nowhere, I’m stuck in the same place
When I first came I promised my love I’d overcome all this pain
Now I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, the end of this race
And I never amounted to anything, and I have nobody else to blame.

So when will, if ever, this show finally close its curtains?
I’ve exposed my life to the point that everyone knows a piece of me
Don’t you know I want to run and be like it was in the beginning?
With the innocence, and a smile and the hope that everything will fix itself.

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
Reminding everything I’ve lost, and how lost I have been
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I wish I could be for you a good example, but the distance won’t allow me to teach.

You’ll only know what they’ve told you about me
The only person that you’ll have missing in your life
Oh, my children, you don’t know much I wish to have you here with me
But instead I have to confront this endless loop of strife.

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Beneath the Darkness

I know she wishes I was more expressive
I know she wishes that I would talk to her
My feelings here are way too excessive
They make her feel like I don’t care.

I love that you’re here with me
I love that you’re my best friend
I get lost when you’re not next to me
Without you I know it’d be the end.

I know she wishes I was more romantic
I know she wishes I’d say that I love her
My feelings here are way too eccentric
They make her feel like I don’t care.

I love that you’re here with me
I love that you’re my best friend
I’ll get lost if you ever leave me
Without you I know it’d be the end.

This darkness that sits in here
But right now you’re my light
I know that I don’t need to fear
You’ll always be right my side.

The Math
(Written on June 5, 2016)

So the sky fell into the dark days
So the road turned into a swerve way
And the mirage of the divine
Turned your beverage back from wine.

Such a perfect picture of disenchantment
When the wolves hide within the sheep
And though now you’re blinded by this excitement
Pray to God this doesn’t drag you in too deep.

If the result doesn’t add up with the numbers
There’s something certainly wrong with the formula
When fire weeps sound like roaring thunder
Then the conic section is an ellipse instead of a hyperbola.

So it was written a long time ago
But we were encouraged to believe so
When the devil talks like a Deity
We tend to turn our faith into absurdity.

Such a deceptive way to be captured
When our wounds become compulsion
And though then we waited on for the rapture
We decided that this was true absolution.

If the result doesn’t add up with the numbers
There’s something certainly wrong with the formula
When fire weeps sound like roaring thunder
Then the conic section is an ellipse instead of a hyperbola.

I’ve heard the voice of the devil
And he sings like the sweetest thing
I’ve seen the deep roots of evil
And they look like the most heavenly beings.

So when the waters rise soon to drown
We still will never learn the line needed to be drawn
For the greatest fear’s being taken for granted
But we again ignored it for the sake of feeling wanted.

I haven’t given before my opinion about today’s society’s status. This is my opinion about it all.

SeaSick

Nuke us, nuke us
This world deserves death
Apathy and nihilism
I’m a man with no faith.

I don’t hate you enough to pull the trigger
I don’t love you enough to extend my hand
Die in the corner, where nobody sees you
Die of starvation, the rich-from overdose.

This canvas is all painted over
There’s nothing else to put here
Just throw it to the trash and then
Bring a blank canvas and start again.

Your opinion, my opinion
The facts, the suffering
All of the notion that keeps moving on
We all born, we all die, we all cry!!!

So nuke us, nuke us
So we can truly fucking feel
How the goddamn end is like
Politicians and religious nuts
The politically correct and millennials
And those who don’t give a fuck
And for those who don’t believe in a God!
Die! For all of our sins
Or lack of
Perfect? Perfect is your bullshit
Thinking that we’re not on the same boat
One that is sinking!!!

The wave of so much nothingness
I’m getting seasick by all of the hollowness
The pitch black, nothing is essential
Everything is created, nothing is accidental.

This is the last one for the day…

Mouse Wheel

Without this I’m nothing
I think we were designed to feel like this
Feed on your ego, choke on your pride
Cause right now I only feel dead inside.

Without this I’m nothing
I don’t have another way to let it go
You might’ve found success
You might’ve made it
But I’m still battling to find my spot.

I’m not the master of my art
But a slave to it
For everything that hurts
I scribble it.

Without this I’m nothing
And even with it I feel the same
Maybe it’s time to see a therapist
And play their chasing game.

Without this I’m nothing
I only wish for anyone to relate
And help me feel something
When the times come that I can no longer take.

I’m running on this mouse wheel
Chasing dreams that I’ll never catch
How do you think that makes me feel?
That from this pain I can’t unlatch?

The Stream, the String, the Stirring

The hollowness is expanding
Reaching greater lengths
The darkness is merging
Opposing our strength.

And if you’re weak
It will devour you
And if you’re sick
It will assimilate you.

But I, the shadows don’t want me no more
And the light, it’s still too far for me to reach
For I am a joke now as I was to them before
I’m the one who got their soul system breached.

The content of the box is being revealed
It wasn’t like there was nothing in it before
And the designs, that were once sealed
It is a falling that will certainly leave you sore.

And if you’re blind
It will consume you
And if you’re kind
It will disgust you.

But I, I am a wanderer between parallel realms
And the light, it’s still far too holy for me to touch
For I am the abortion of these parasitic stems
I’m the one who will never avail things as such.

I’ve taken sides, but never sided with the unknown
Although my core lusts to learn what’s out there and beyond
I’ve chained myself to the love and the pain ingrown
And my memory will hold meaning until I am completely gone.

A poem I wrote last week.

Master of Anxiety

Wasting all of my time doing nothing
But thinking how much of a loser I am
How I am always disappointing everyone
And how much I’ll fuck up again next time.

I’ve tried to overcome all of these thoughts
Tried to medicate with high all of my lows
Swallowed one too many pills attempting to kill this disease
Wishing I could kill my body if it comes to it.

I wish I could disappear in silence
But how much more invisible can I become?
I wish you could understand my anxiety
I was raised to feel like nothing and be alone.

Wasting all of my time here complaining
And thinking how much of a whiner I am
When I’m having it “good” even when I’m bleeding
Always above others as from this belt I hang.

I’ve tried to keep my stupid mouth shut
Tried to swallow my pride and confront my doubts
Zombified my mind with mindless TV ads on display
Wishing I could put my fears right where my body lays.

I wish I could undo this inner violence
But how can you fight something that has become much stronger?
I wish I could get rid of all of this anxiety
But I was taught only to fail miserably and become a loner.

Wasting all of my time staring at nothing
Thinking how much of a fucked up I have become
How I am always disappointing everyone
With the things I’m doing, with the things I’ve done.

I feel like the master of anxiety
But I know I’m more like its slave
Worrying about every little thing constantly
My own soul I cannot even save.