Posts Tagged ‘Pain’

Like Before

I do not know how to express how I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this fire in here is awfully burning
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of disappearing
Not having to deal with any of this
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
I simply cannot take all of this shit.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

I do not know how to handle what I’m feeling
Seems I have forgotten somehow
But this hatred in me is rapidly asphyxiating
And I want to get rid of it right now.

Lately I have been thinking of self-injuring
Find a way to already be gone
You simply can’t imagine how much I’m hurting
Every day I face this all alone.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

The people who know me but do not call me
Will come to wonder what was wrong?
The people who are here, closest to me
Can’t give an answer for this, they have none.

They say if you speak about it, it will be easier
But I’ve been speaking about it for twenty long years
All of these problems are simply getting messier
I’m just peeling another layer of all the things I fear.

It’s just too much
My head cannot take it anymore
Everything‘s just fucked
I cannot make it like it was before.

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Ephemeral Infatuation

There’s something about you
Something truly addictive
And I’m just another junkie
Looking for a fucking hit.

Let’s fuck up this already shitty life
With all of your disgrace
And all of my mistakes
‘Cause nothing matters when we’re young
There are no consequences
To the bend of our moral compasses.

There’s something about you
That I wish to have in me
I wish to put in you
Angst is a supermassive black hole.

Let’s crash course against the wall
Leap off this cliff
And float till we disappear
‘Cause nothing matters when we’re young
There are no penalties
For we send it all to fucking hell.

‘Cause the present looks like a puddle of colors
We cannot make anything concrete out of it
And in our lack of esteem and raging hormones
We want to feel something, even if that something hurts deeply.

We’ll have the rest of our lives to regret this
We’ll ignore ever knowing one another in the future
Once we’re old and grey we’ll pretend have lived a perfect life
With the perfect choices that led us to where we will be.

Undeniably Undependable

A stingy sensation on the pit of my stomach
Laying there are broken dreams and dead butterflies
When an intention breaks into such a remark
You become the judging eye of who truths and who lies.

Lifted up from the remains of what was once alive
Walked away from the traces of what was once conceived
If I knew that you would’ve taken me for such a ride
I never would’ve stepped foot on that shelter where you lived.

Hard to envision anything any other way
When your wine is strong, with a bitter sense of convolution
Any lap dog would find it easy, to go stray
If they knew the true intentions of your so called revolution.

A peculiar sensation in the back of my mind
Sitting here with such familiar features of things I doubt
What could develop here, what could be left behind
Whatever trail I follow that will for sure become my route.

Leaped from under the fire and all of the debris
I crawled away from the crumbled pieces of my palace
If I knew that past beyond “forever” you would flee
I never would’ve exchanged my heart for this lack of solace.

Hard to position you in any other place
When your rope seems strong, but breaks from its fine line
Any beggar would want to witness your grace
If in their very naivety they didn’t conceive that you are lying.

Walking straight, with my breast held high up
If you need to say something here, you might as well cough it up
‘Cause once I take flight, I won’t be looking back for signs of life
‘Cause I’ve witnessed all you have to offer and it’s all in bitter strife.

You’re undeniably undependable
A plugged-in toaster unexpectedly thrown at my water filled tub
My dignity is certainly not negotiable
And the blood stain you’ve left in my heart is one you cannot scrub.

The Appositively Hypocrisy

Still tired, bored with this pc world?
About all the fucking shit we still cannot speak of?
Still tied to, biting off your tongue?
You can get away with almost everything if you write it in a song.

Fuck tolerance!
There’s some shit I need to get off my chest
Be irreverent!
Still it’s irrelevant if you try to do your best.

These pacifist assholes always being violent towards me
Why can’t see the irony? The appositively hypocrisy.

Still in awe, up in arms about this?
You can only fight about what the majority agrees on
Still in grief, aggrieved about this shit?
You can’t speak the truth when everyone’s convinced you’re wrong.

Fuck ignorance!
There’s a lot of shit you don’t know about here
Be observant!
About how stagnant you become when in fear.

These political-correct maggots always warping the facts
Why can’t they see the bigger picture? It’s all an act.

They got us by the balls
Even if you profess yourself to be a full-time feminist
Soon your name will be called
When it’s time to jump off the ship and into the shark infested sea.

Amaurotic

This world crumbles
Crumbles down at your feet
Have you ever known?
Ever known of defeat?

The disarrayed poetry
That makes you feel high
That makes you feel complete
It’s nothing but a discarded array
Of supplanted supplemented supplies
Of apparent cosmic prophecy,
An exponential perfidious of
An illusionary romantic morale.

You’re emotionally amaurotic
Stoic to the fact that not always
You’re gonna hurt
This partial loss of your sight
Becomes part of who you are
Of how you feel inside.

This world crumbles
Crumbles in front of you
Have you ever known?
If any of this is true?

The intrinsic intention
Turns the right into obsolete
The distinctive effort to inert
It’s nothing but disjointed display
Of insufficient, insufferable insertion
Of palpable parables paraphrases
That deviates the real objective;
Forcing you into being subjective.

You’re emotionally amaurotic
Stoic to the fact that not always
You’re gonna hurt
This partial loss of your sight
Becomes part of who you are
Of how you feel inside.

Gamble the one thing you have for real
And you’ll lose at the end of this deal
Cause blinders seem to hog onto your eyes
You can’t tell what’s true from a lie.

Undetermined Reassessment

Undo what you’ve done
If that’s even possible
Wherever your roam
You do the unimaginable
I expect you to go up
And you dash way down
I expect you to erupt
But all you’ve done is blown.

In the middle of this island
With nowhere to go
Stranded here, you and I
With only each other.

Unsay what you’ve said
If that’s even feasible
Whenever you jeer
It seems so damn terrible
I expect you to improve
And you do the opposite
I expect you to move
But here you still abide.

In the middle of this island
With nowhere to go
Stranded here, you and I
With only one another.

It was only a matter of time
Until we got on each other’s nerves
We held as we could inside
All that the eye beholds and observes.

You and I, judging each other
Under our undetermined reassessment
You and I were
Like hugs to a brother
Like kisses to a lover
Like babies to a mother
Eye to eye, unlike another
Synonymous to similitude
Joined in by solitude
Until our strings began to unravel
And in our space we felt smothered
Deliberated in our divulgence
We served to the worse of our nature
And the friendship we’ve had nurtured
Began falling down into the abyss
With all the unnamed things that ran amiss.

Inspired on a friend. Kind of on his perspective too.

Cut Off

It’s written on the walls
In your own hand writing
In your own graphic blood
It’s your very own wiring.

For these lovers to be secretly in love
To make it rain, rain blood from the above
For all the laws we’ve broken in here
And all the vows that were given with fear.

If you cut off the cord
I swear to you, you’ll lose your way back home
If you give in to the absurd
I promise you, they’ll fill up your ass with their ***

It’s written on your face
In your very own staring
In your own curved ways
It’s your very own wiring.

For these lovers to run from the world
To make it there, where a boy could be a girl
For all the lives they’ve taken in here
And all the vows that were given with fear.

If you cut off the cord
I swear to you, you’ll lose your own distinctiveness
If you give in to the norms
I promise you, they’ll force up your lack of straightness.

You think that they’ll understand?
You’ll be surprise about their ever lack of
You’ve drawn these lines across the sand
So be prepared for a war you never asked for.

If you cut off the cord
I swear to you, you’ll lose your very self at once
If you give in to their words
I promise you, over your rotten carcass they’ll dance.