Posts Tagged ‘Poetry’

Too many lives wasted too young to depression and suicide. I contemplated in my pain and wrote this. This is dedicated to my father, mother, brothers, sister, my ex wife, my children and some of my friends. It’s not supposed to rhyme or be super smart, just smeared my feelings all over it.


(The image is NOT made by me)

Swallowing Dark Hole of Solitude

You speak better with silence
I speak better with silence
But please tell me what’s wrong?
I need to know what’s wrong?

I can see you in your corner silent
You can see me in my corner silent
There’s something wrong with you
There’s something wrong with me.

But words they escape us
They cannot truly capture the feeling
Broken at times, lonely at others.

Maybe you just need to cry
Maybe I just need a hug
Maybe, maybe, maybe…
But we don’t see that, at all.

I just saw you crying
I couldn’t deal with it
I’m holding my tears in
Hiding myself from crying
I don’t want you to see this.

Make a joke to shake the hurt
Yell instead of breaking down
Apathetic and numb
I’m so sorry and so alone.

I heard the news the other day
They took their own lives way too young
I wish I could be dead instead at times
But then I think about suffering I’d be causing

Is there a way out?
God? Love? Money?
I know we cannot be hurting like this forever
In our silence we speak amounts.

Speak to me
I wish to know
I too, myself
At times, feel alone.

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Another poem written using the alias “The Velvet Empress”

Hestia

Big black dogs guarding by the exit door
Mermaids swerving on the dance floor
Lights buzzing on the five pointed star wall
But, goats on two feet are having a ball.

Mars is for boys, and Venus is for girls
But none can make it like so, you swirl
Mythos of an afterimage, ether and merle
Midnight creatures born of the underworld.

Oh mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the most beautiful of them all?
“Just look deep into the glass ball
It’s the fire from the skies taking a fall”

A satellite with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.

Large black figures caught by your eye
Backward masking humming a lullaby
Ghosts and ghouls playing on the perfect song
Carving twisted Decalogue on hollow stones.

Sheep go to heaven, and goats go hell
Wish there was someone you could tell
Logos as an afterthought, ethos and pearls
Shadowy creatures spawn of the underworld.

Oh mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the most beautiful of them all?
“Just look deep into the glass ball
It’s the fire from the skies taking a fall”

A satellite with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.

So welcome back down to earth
Your place sits next to the hearth
Oh, you, I hope all of this is worth
We deviated the objective of your course.

You do not understand my tongue
Cause you can’t read between the lines
Cause what to you might sound dumb
Might hide myriad of secrets right behind.

A star with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.

It’s sad that no one can relate to what I’m saying/feeling.

All of Them

She likes what she likes
And what she likes is what she likes
And you, you’re not even dust.

She likes what she likes
And she’s insufferable
And you’re just a pawn.

She cares but she doesn’t care for real
She thinks she’s a god, she’s a queen
She thinks you’re just a poster wall
To call when she has no one to talk to.

She is who she is
And who you are won’t make a difference
And you, you’re insignificant.

She is who she is
And she’s her own person
Except when she falls in love with the impossible.

She cares but she doesn’t care for real
She’s so high above you, so centered
She thinks you’re a beggar, a loser
Only to be reached when she needs someone.

She loves her lovers as she loves her lovers
But her lovers doesn’t love her
But for her that’s okay
She loves her lovers as she loves her lovers
But the one who truly loves her
She doesn’t need that, she doesn’t care.

Another sunset
Lost in the wind
Lost in time… again
Oh, silence…
Friend of mine
Times that are good
Horrible times
Ever going
Marinated in tears
Another assortment
Reality shocks
Tendered and broken
Hailing for love
Everything fails
Singular failing
Another collectiveness
Mourning the heart
Ending the gap.

The Velvet Empress

Johnny Boy

He wishes he could be so much more
If the pen was really mightier than the sword
Chiseling a shortcut to the great grandeur
Where singers and poets both grieve in ardor.

The gates open as the elevator rises
A gene sample set for the skull and bones
The wounded preacher wickedly apprises
As the scarlet lady cackles and then moans.

The sun and the moon are two lovers
Who could speak about the spirit of the forest?
The forecast foreshadow the hunters
Susurrates “Who could be greater than its master?”

He wishes he could be so much more
If the actions could speak louder than the words
Bargaining noumena for the first amour
Where vipers and saviors leave their hearts sore.

The heavens open as the trumpets play
A lethiferous gap that will swallow us whole
The binary numen sets down the quay
As the venomous Tiamat reaches its end goal.

The stars and satellites are lost spawns
Who could speak about the events of the afterlife?
The aftermath shook all of the pawns
Wondering “Where is the husband? Who is the wife?”

Oh dear Johnny boy
Writing the story for someone to read
Truly, truly, I tell you, you were a good boy
But no one remembers the things you did.

This poem is about when one meets someone new and when one knows someone for far too long.

The Housing Gap

Leave me here with my thoughts
I don’t think that you want
‘Cause I know that I need more.

Leave me here with the truth
So sour, it burns in my mouth
You don’t owe me a thing, no.

When the light stretched out
I was in darkness, so lost
But a random hand came through
And tried to reach me, so…

Am I in debt with your heart?
Do I owe your feelings something?
You, broken and empty as me
Do you think I should still be here?

Leave me here with the wasted
I don’t think you should face
‘Cause it’s not your problem, no.

Leave me here with the ended
I don’t know what to say
Should I have a love to embrace?

When the light dimmed in
I was left here, so alone
Then a random hand came through
And it tried to reach me, so…

Am I in debt with your heart?
Do I owe your feelings something?
You, broken and empty as me
Do you think I should still be here?

There we were, looking for something
Maybe for hope, love or companionship
How the fresh fruit has become spoiled
Left to rot by the means in our hearts.

‘Cause nothing ever solves like we want
And if we come to cherish one another
We’ll end up hating one another instead.

Solitude doesn’t have a master
We’re slaves, we are its whores
‘Till one day we gather strength to abandon it
Or one day we cannot take it anymore.

Stream of Voices

I don’t exist
Or exist way too much to be in the way
When silence attacks violently
The voices of those who abused me start chattering.

So bring the guns forward
I’ve been meaning to die for awhile now
Oh, no I do not mean to be ungrateful
But fuck the way I feel about everything when I’m lonely.

Good for you if you don’t speak about these things up front
But for fuck’s sake I’m trying to exorcise my own demons
Can you lend me a hand of getting out of this hell?
Or are you gonna stay on that side, yelling “you can make it!”?

This feeling is fueled by the fact I am physically alone
I don’t want to hear the things I already know
That demonic voice of my own, my low self-esteem
How nobody ever wanted me. How low can I go?

To play the victim and feel sorry about myself
Be in my fucking skin and tell me that everything is ok
“If you’re gonna end it, you should’ve ended it by now”
What kind of fucked up thing is that to say to someone who’s hurting?

New pseudonym The Velvet Empress

Y.O.D.O. (You Only Die Once)

Down and broken
Down, down, down
And broken down
Watch your step, love
You’d leave me here
Out here in cold
Just to meet my fate
Just like your mother told you to.

You know, a funny thing about Karma
It always comes around
It always comes around to fuck you up
So dance in your silver platter, for the while
The devil likes his dishes best served cold
So you better hang onto your angel’s wings
I’ll be praying to the prince of the air
To pull you back down
Back down, where you should be.

Down and broken
Down, down, down
Where voices speak out loud
And the darkness becomes your friend
The walls go for the trade
In an alchemic exchange
But can you see the writing?
Do you understand what the words mean at all?

You know, the funny thing about the twist of the knife
It comes under as part of a sacrifice
The more blood you donate
The more you fill up its thirst
In comes a horror you’re too scared to realize
That what goes up must always come down
That not all angels come from the light
And this one, it fell from the sky.

To die once and then come back to life
It’s such an awkward experience
You can still hear those whispers calling you on
Cause on this side is not where you belong.