Posts Tagged ‘Relationship’

Beneath the Darkness

I know she wishes I was more expressive
I know she wishes that I would talk to her
My feelings here are way too excessive
They make her feel like I don’t care.

I love that you’re here with me
I love that you’re my best friend
I get lost when you’re not next to me
Without you I know it’d be the end.

I know she wishes I was more romantic
I know she wishes I’d say that I love her
My feelings here are way too eccentric
They make her feel like I don’t care.

I love that you’re here with me
I love that you’re my best friend
I’ll get lost if you ever leave me
Without you I know it’d be the end.

This darkness that sits in here
But right now you’re my light
I know that I don’t need to fear
You’ll always be right my side.

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Another poem by fictional character and pseudonym Alexander Silver

Julia

This is just another story
Another chance to say you’re sorry
And to pretend that you don’t know
All that I’m talking about right now.

Julia
You’re so beautiful in your very own way
I love the way that your eyebrows strain
Every time that you’re happy, every time that you’re mad
I love you when you’re smiling, love you when you’re sad.

This is just another tale
And it will follow you just like a tail
You can pretend that you don’t recur
But it can only be for so long so obscure.

Julia
You’re as sexy hip as you have always been
I love the way you dance, the way you sing
Every time that you’re happy, every time that you’re sad
I love you even when you’re lonely, when you’ve been bad.

This state in your life seems like an energy vacuum
Talk about sudden appraisal, and self-absorption
I can tell it by the way you slide, the way you hum
It’s uncanny the way you find yourself under such conception.

The Conversation

This internal struggle is growling
And looking out for the hunt
All that it seems is to be hurting
The ones I care about the most.

I tend to make people feel like they’re not enough
Probably because it’s the way I feel about myself
I don’t know how to make you feel this hurt as much
So I hurt you intentionally so you would hurt in yourself.

This self-reflection is momentarily
Later I’ll find an excuse not to
All that I do is hurt emotionally
The ones I feel have hurt me too.

I tend to make people feel like they’re useless
Probably because I feel pretty useless myself
I don’t know how to make you see all this as such
So I hurt you intentionally so you would hurt in yourself.

Oh how we promised to each other to be safe havens
Oh how we promised to each other that would be safe
And now that our rotten corpses are eaten by ravens
We still signify in account for our many, many mistakes.

I think we should’ve had this conversation long time ago
We would’ve had better comprehension of things going on
Oh how my broken heart can’t help yours be fixed, oh no
But how I wish we could simply heal each other all along.

This is from the point of view of this character.

Visceral Conflict (by: Alexander Silver)

Your mystery has cost me misery, my own self-esteem
All of the secrets I thought we were truly ready to share
I confess this is the loneliest and most hurt I’ve ever been
And if you had a sense of empathy I would expect you to care.

Turn around and walk away, so you won’t be seen in this place
Spread your wings only when the wind blows in your way
But keep your eyes down, to avoid suspicion and save face
Now that you’ve betrayed me, (you’ve) left me with nothing else to say.

Why put on all that makeup just to look like a clown?
I ask you because you’ve made a circus out of this instance
I confess I never expected for you to let me down
No, not after fear turned your begs into constant insistence.

Such a visceral conflict
Not to go with your natural instinct.

This social experiment of yours has cost me too much
If you weren’t ready, you shouldn’t have opened the door
One simply does not flee, neglecting delicate affairs as such
And if you truly cared, you would’ve not run me to the floor.

Go inside and turn the bolts, so you won’t be seen out here (with me)
Spread your arms only when a wave of convenient support blows you way
But keep your head down, to portray guilt, even if it’s out of fear
You can keep pretending, for the benefit of all of things that come into play.

Why put on all that makeup just to look like a clown?
I ask you because you’ve made a circus out of this instance
I confess I never expected for you to let me down
‘Cause after they confronted you, you walked into their acceptance.

Such a visceral conflict
Not to go with your natural instinct.

I’m right confined in who I am, in what I want
Don’t play mind games, only ‘cause you’re feeling curious
All ever wanted was to help you out, give you a hand
‘Cause I know how difficult it is at times and it makes me furious
That ‘til this day there are those who still hide behind their curtain
In self-disgust of who they are, and what they could become
But I’m not one to push off and on if the other person isn’t certain
And if they ever need support, I’ll be here for all the things to come.

‘Cause it’s such a visceral conflict
Not to go with your natural instinct.

Ephemeral Infatuation

There’s something about you
Something truly addictive
And I’m just another junkie
Looking for a fucking hit.

Let’s fuck up this already shitty life
With all of your disgrace
And all of my mistakes
‘Cause nothing matters when we’re young
There are no consequences
To the bend of our moral compasses.

There’s something about you
That I wish to have in me
I wish to put in you
Angst is a supermassive black hole.

Let’s crash course against the wall
Leap off this cliff
And float till we disappear
‘Cause nothing matters when we’re young
There are no penalties
For we send it all to fucking hell.

‘Cause the present looks like a puddle of colors
We cannot make anything concrete out of it
And in our lack of esteem and raging hormones
We want to feel something, even if that something hurts deeply.

We’ll have the rest of our lives to regret this
We’ll ignore ever knowing one another in the future
Once we’re old and grey we’ll pretend have lived a perfect life
With the perfect choices that led us to where we will be.

Undeniably Undependable

A stingy sensation on the pit of my stomach
Laying there are broken dreams and dead butterflies
When an intention breaks into such a remark
You become the judging eye of who truths and who lies.

Lifted up from the remains of what was once alive
Walked away from the traces of what was once conceived
If I knew that you would’ve taken me for such a ride
I never would’ve stepped foot on that shelter where you lived.

Hard to envision anything any other way
When your wine is strong, with a bitter sense of convolution
Any lap dog would find it easy, to go stray
If they knew the true intentions of your so called revolution.

A peculiar sensation in the back of my mind
Sitting here with such familiar features of things I doubt
What could develop here, what could be left behind
Whatever trail I follow that will for sure become my route.

Leaped from under the fire and all of the debris
I crawled away from the crumbled pieces of my palace
If I knew that past beyond “forever” you would flee
I never would’ve exchanged my heart for this lack of solace.

Hard to position you in any other place
When your rope seems strong, but breaks from its fine line
Any beggar would want to witness your grace
If in their very naivety they didn’t conceive that you are lying.

Walking straight, with my breast held high up
If you need to say something here, you might as well cough it up
‘Cause once I take flight, I won’t be looking back for signs of life
‘Cause I’ve witnessed all you have to offer and it’s all in bitter strife.

You’re undeniably undependable
A plugged-in toaster unexpectedly thrown at my water filled tub
My dignity is certainly not negotiable
And the blood stain you’ve left in my heart is one you cannot scrub.

‘Cause I don’t want to live without you…

For Every Time I’ve Lost You

Get me out of this misery
Cause I don’t wish to live without you
Cause everywhere that I look
I see the illusion of you.

What to do with the feelings you’re feeling?
When they used to be pure and carefree?
What to do now that the clouds have become grey?
What to do with this hurt that I feel every day?

Get me out of this misery
Cause I don’t wish to live like this anymore
Cause everything that I do
Is to be thinking of you.

Gray clouds gather, raining down on my face
And I don’t know what to do with all this space
Prepare myself to move on or fail in the process
How, when our lives used to be so full of roses?