Posts Tagged ‘Sad’

That Muscle Called the Heart

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
It’s the most beautiful and heart-breaking thing I’ve ever seen
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I imagine where you are, maybe out there in the mall or enjoying the sun in the beach.

This road here is leading nowhere, I’m stuck in the same place
When I first came I promised my love I’d overcome all this pain
Now I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, the end of this race
And I never amounted to anything, and I have nobody else to blame.

So when will, if ever, this show finally close its curtains?
I’ve exposed my life to the point that everyone knows a piece of me
Don’t you know I want to run and be like it was in the beginning?
With the innocence, and a smile and the hope that everything will fix itself.

So the ghost of the face of you stood frozen in my screen
Reminding everything I’ve lost, and how lost I have been
My fingertips try to feel your life, but they can never reach
I wish I could be for you a good example, but the distance won’t allow me to teach.

You’ll only know what they’ve told you about me
The only person that you’ll have missing in your life
Oh, my children, you don’t know much I wish to have you here with me
But instead I have to confront this endless loop of strife.

Advertisements

This is the last one for the day…

Mouse Wheel

Without this I’m nothing
I think we were designed to feel like this
Feed on your ego, choke on your pride
Cause right now I only feel dead inside.

Without this I’m nothing
I don’t have another way to let it go
You might’ve found success
You might’ve made it
But I’m still battling to find my spot.

I’m not the master of my art
But a slave to it
For everything that hurts
I scribble it.

Without this I’m nothing
And even with it I feel the same
Maybe it’s time to see a therapist
And play their chasing game.

Without this I’m nothing
I only wish for anyone to relate
And help me feel something
When the times come that I can no longer take.

I’m running on this mouse wheel
Chasing dreams that I’ll never catch
How do you think that makes me feel?
That from this pain I can’t unlatch?

The Narrative

It feels lonely in this empty place of my mind
The ghosts are taking a vacation on the world outside
It’s just me with no other self, no other version
Is this a trap set by them? Are they trying to create a diversion?

The other day I received a message from the land of the living
Those beautiful words gave me a false sense of hope
My heart is convinced that the things to come will be disappointing
Like any suicidal body hanging by the end of its rope.

It’s been week since the last discussion we had about life
You made me enter to that place I hate the most
Jaws semi-open, ears pent up, when you talk of your wife
There’s no expectancy when you’re just a ghost.

I received a phone call the other day; it was a long lost friend
We laughed and smiled and pretended that we were doing okay
How can friendship ever evolved if it doesn’t become trenched?
Over that conversation there are a millions things one could say.

This is the story that has been dictated by the ill-fated mouths
They like to put a little a bit of gore where my body bled
There’s not much hope for Heavens when you’re heading south
They tend to remind about things I try so hard to forget.

Undeniably Undependable

A stingy sensation on the pit of my stomach
Laying there are broken dreams and dead butterflies
When an intention breaks into such a remark
You become the judging eye of who truths and who lies.

Lifted up from the remains of what was once alive
Walked away from the traces of what was once conceived
If I knew that you would’ve taken me for such a ride
I never would’ve stepped foot on that shelter where you lived.

Hard to envision anything any other way
When your wine is strong, with a bitter sense of convolution
Any lap dog would find it easy, to go stray
If they knew the true intentions of your so called revolution.

A peculiar sensation in the back of my mind
Sitting here with such familiar features of things I doubt
What could develop here, what could be left behind
Whatever trail I follow that will for sure become my route.

Leaped from under the fire and all of the debris
I crawled away from the crumbled pieces of my palace
If I knew that past beyond “forever” you would flee
I never would’ve exchanged my heart for this lack of solace.

Hard to position you in any other place
When your rope seems strong, but breaks from its fine line
Any beggar would want to witness your grace
If in their very naivety they didn’t conceive that you are lying.

Walking straight, with my breast held high up
If you need to say something here, you might as well cough it up
‘Cause once I take flight, I won’t be looking back for signs of life
‘Cause I’ve witnessed all you have to offer and it’s all in bitter strife.

You’re undeniably undependable
A plugged-in toaster unexpectedly thrown at my water filled tub
My dignity is certainly not negotiable
And the blood stain you’ve left in my heart is one you cannot scrub.

A Broken Man’s Show

Oh my life is an open book
A freak show
For everyone to laugh
For everyone to shake their heads
Cause I’ve made the wrong decision
Cause I’ve said the wrong thing
And I don’t know how to deal with all of this
That comes to me like a meteor shower
That comes to me like acid rain
Breaking on my bones
Burning on my skin.

To pretend to keep some privacy
To try to be the best I can be
But I always come short
And it’s so humiliating
As I drown in my sense of failure
Attacked by my low self-esteem
To be bitten by the snake of arrogance
And deny myself of my own fault
Should I open the door?
Should I leave it like that?
This room is getting filled
And there’s no air outside.

A sick world that’s trying to cure me
Trying to numb my human reactions
Trying to fill up their emptiness focusing on mine
A sea of so called therapists
A sea of so called friends
But in this darkness
I see no arm reaching for me.

I’m done complaining
Done looking for help
How can I fix myself this time?
Walk away from this hell?
To watch out for every action that I make
Make sure it doesn’t hurt the loved ones
Doesn’t hurt their fragile pride
But what about me?
They only stare to see past beyond
But never to see what’s inside.

Oh this might be an error
Oh this might be a lie
But you see, in my perception
It’s blurry in my eyes
As warped as I’ve made it
As defensive as it can be
To create consciousness for a few seconds
For a few seconds to make some understand
But like the wind that blows the dust in circles
We’ll be soon back again to where we stand.

Oh my life is an open book
A freak show
For everyone to laugh
For everyone to shake their heads
Cause I’ve made the wrong decision
Cause I’ve said the wrong thing…

It comes to me like a meteor shower
It comes to me like acid rain
Breaking on my bones
Burning on my skin.

Should I open the door?
(Maybe the exit lies beyond it)
Should I leave it like that?
(What about the unknown dangers?)
This room is getting filled
(And I’m asphyxiating)
And there’s no air outside
(Either way I’ll die).

Everything Has Gone Back to Normal

Everything has gone back to normal
And my blood it bleeds red
And how it aches
How it hurts.

Everything has gone back to normal
And my calls are not responded
All in a busy tone
All in a busy tone.

Everything has gone back to normal
And this silence is by my side
Greeting me with open arms
Greeting me again.

Everything has gone back to normal
And I feel like my usual self
So useless, so useless
Yeah…

The white empty space
A wide empty space
Nowhere to escape
I have awoken.

Everything has gone back to normal
The momentary happiness has passed away
Passed away
Passed away.

Everything has gone back to normal
Daydreaming seems so bliss
Like a bad joke
I don’t want to.

The wide empty space
Here in my chest
Here in my head
I was never completed.

Everything…
Has gone back…
To normal…
Sigh… The End…?

Under the Rain of my Eyes

All the time in the world is not enough
I’m always gonna love you
I’m always gonna miss you
I’m always gonna need you.