Archive for September, 2018

“She looks like Eve Marie Saint in ‘On the Waterfront’. She reads Simone De Beauvoir in her American circumstance. Her heart is like crazy paving. Upside down and back to front, she says “Oh. It’s so hard to love when love was your great disappointment.” – Lloyd Cole
These lines here inspired me to be a better poetry writer.

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Amanda White. Inspired on beautiful singing.

Father Sky

Extend your arms, spirit of the sky
Expand your wings and teach me how to fly
I want to soar to the highest of highs
I want to stay right by your side.

Come to my aid, spirit of the wind
Teach me how to lean and how to mend
I want to reach the heavens with thou
I want to be where I’d be allowed.

‘Cause you serenade me with your cathartic eclectic song
You fill my heart when I’m down, sad and I’m all alone
The reverbing tremolo bouncing off the walls of this lounge
Synchronizes perfectly with how my accelerated heart pounds.

Extend to me, oh, spirit of the clouds
Blow of your breeze and send me up above
I want to dash across your linen atmosphere
I want to stay right here tonight.

Respond to my call, spirit of the stars
Teach me how to lead and how to shine
I want to float around your cosmic orbit
Touch all of the natural satellites.

‘Cause you serenade me with your cathartic eclectic song
When my day is somber, you light upon just like the sun
The vibrating staccato bouncing off the walls of this lounge
Synchronizes perfectly with how my syncopated heart pounds.

Oh, Father Sky
All of your children in me lie
They sway me from one to the other side
And then they sway my being back inside
With their uplifting heterogeneous lullaby
So beautiful, that it makes me cry.

‘Cause they serenade me with your cathartic eclectic song
When I’m wandering, your embrace makes me feel like home
The reverbing tremolo bouncing off the walls of this lounge
Synchronizes perfectly with how my accelerated heart pounds

It won’t be long ‘til you reach me
It won’t be long ‘til we’ve become one.

Amanda White

Under The Sun

Sexualize me in the way only you can
I want to be sexy in your sight, in your eyes
So treat me like the thing you want to treat me like
A broken heart can go both ways even when only one is playing.

You think you are so smart, with that snickering face
I just wanted to kiss you so I could give you of my disease
The more you want me, the more I hold you in my strings
And though it sickens me, I need to prove myself that I’m able to do this.

Why would anybody set the bar so low?
If I was just a little more matured then, I’d have approached things differently
And more than why, you might wonder how?
How is it possible for one to love oneself through the filter of manipulating perplexities?

Sexualize me in your heart and in your mind
I want to be sexy when I come around and you inside
So hold me tight, like I’m the control you don’t want to lose
A broken spell can either undo this bubble I was in, or trap you too.

You think you’re so valuable, like a treasure chest
I just wanted to take a peek into your chasm and spit on it
The more you want me, the more you disgust me, but
If I’m to win over this game that you think I’m falling in, I must push further.

Why would anybody set the bar so low?
If I was just a little more conscious then, I’d have confronted things differently
And to wonder what might’ve done now?
How is it possible for one to love oneself through the filter of bending up the perpendicular?

There’s a bridge between my heart and my body
I should’ve never kept my feelings under closed doors
To understand there’s a connection within my own spirit
It is something that I never really thought of before.

Why would anybody set the bar so low?
If I was a little more empathetic of myself and of others,
Oh, I would’ve done so many things so differently
And though all this got me to the place I am right now
Is it impossible for one to love oneself through the filter of bending bullets aimed for the heart, and for the soul…
Oh, no, to give onto others the pain you withhold
It is so unfair, cause when one is young and full of all of these hormones
Should one really be held countable of such things done?
‘Cause life is like a coin, it’s two sided…
So what is really hiding under the sun?

Upset Stomach

Posted: September 14, 2018 in Uncategorized

I woke up feeling  crappy today. Here’s the shittiest poem ever.

Upset Stomach
My mind is in hangover mode

What the hell have I done?

Must have been my bipolarity

Thoughts that leaked slickly.
I’m not the person who you see right here

I hate being that clown

I hate being that sincere. 
I’m the destroyer of the hope you had in humanity

I’m the hypocrisy when you think of the best of somebody

I hate and despise and regret and reject anything uncomfortable

 Don’t look at me, I’m not your friend

I’m not your pal

I’m just the shadow of everything you thought could be relatable.

Too many lives wasted too young to depression and suicide. I contemplated in my pain and wrote this. This is dedicated to my father, mother, brothers, sister, my ex wife, my children and some of my friends. It’s not supposed to rhyme or be super smart, just smeared my feelings all over it.


(The image is NOT made by me)

Swallowing Dark Hole of Solitude

You speak better with silence
I speak better with silence
But please tell me what’s wrong?
I need to know what’s wrong?

I can see you in your corner silent
You can see me in my corner silent
There’s something wrong with you
There’s something wrong with me.

But words they escape us
They cannot truly capture the feeling
Broken at times, lonely at others.

Maybe you just need to cry
Maybe I just need a hug
Maybe, maybe, maybe…
But we don’t see that, at all.

I just saw you crying
I couldn’t deal with it
I’m holding my tears in
Hiding myself from crying
I don’t want you to see this.

Make a joke to shake the hurt
Yell instead of breaking down
Apathetic and numb
I’m so sorry and so alone.

I heard the news the other day
They took their own lives way too young
I wish I could be dead instead at times
But then I think about suffering I’d be causing

Is there a way out?
God? Love? Money?
I know we cannot be hurting like this forever
In our silence we speak amounts.

Speak to me
I wish to know
I too, myself
At times, feel alone.

Another poem written using the alias “The Velvet Empress”

Hestia

Big black dogs guarding by the exit door
Mermaids swerving on the dance floor
Lights buzzing on the five pointed star wall
But, goats on two feet are having a ball.

Mars is for boys, and Venus is for girls
But none can make it like so, you swirl
Mythos of an afterimage, ether and merle
Midnight creatures born of the underworld.

Oh mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the most beautiful of them all?
“Just look deep into the glass ball
It’s the fire from the skies taking a fall”

A satellite with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.

Large black figures caught by your eye
Backward masking humming a lullaby
Ghosts and ghouls playing on the perfect song
Carving twisted Decalogue on hollow stones.

Sheep go to heaven, and goats go hell
Wish there was someone you could tell
Logos as an afterthought, ethos and pearls
Shadowy creatures spawn of the underworld.

Oh mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the most beautiful of them all?
“Just look deep into the glass ball
It’s the fire from the skies taking a fall”

A satellite with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.

So welcome back down to earth
Your place sits next to the hearth
Oh, you, I hope all of this is worth
We deviated the objective of your course.

You do not understand my tongue
Cause you can’t read between the lines
Cause what to you might sound dumb
Might hide myriad of secrets right behind.

A star with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.