Archive for the ‘Death Poetry’ Category

This is the first time I write something or say something addressing about how I feel after hearing about my son’s condition. It’s been a week today since that horrible message appeared on my phone that Saturday morning.

The First Step

I think it’s time to open my heart
And reveal all these hidden scars
Like it or not, nothing I can do
For how long will I keep things from you?
My audience might be only God
Or maybe the thoughts in my head
But I have to do this, no other choice
No matter if inside I feel dead.

I’ve been searching for the things I’ve been feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for all of the right words
Four breakdowns in less than a month
I don’t know how much I can withstand, I can uphold.

When I heard the phone rang,
I knew it was bad news
I woke up with my heart in my mouth
My biggest fear has finally become true
And I don’t know if there’s a God
But everyone has been asking me to pray to it
For all that I knew then I have forgot
And my faith isn’t exactly what it used to be.

I’ve been searching for a way to describe the feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for a time to say the right words
Do you think that any time I will be healing?
Do you think that this tragedy will make it much worse?

This is the way I channel my emotions
I have finally found a way to try to let go
As I attach myself to every motion
Of all the things that I now know
I see evil in the faces of those who always were
And the light still hasn’t reached for me
I find kindness in the words of strangers
It’s something I never expected to be.

I’ve been searching for a way to express how I’m feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for a way to let you all know
Do you think that any time now I will start healing?
Do you think that this life has a way to turn things around?

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The Velvet Empress

Triggerman’s Ballad

Innocence as it may be
Another victim on the line
No resistance, just as we see
At that age, at that time.

Just believe in your instincts
All your senses compromise
Flesh so fresh, so altruistic
Another plot for their device.

So they trusted in that voice
Such enchantment, hypnotized
Twisted minds consort a ploy
Snakes in suits, never chastised.

So they lured them with disguises
Left them there for their demises.

Shot their feet, shot their hands
Panegyrize the Triggerman.

Rescue dogs sniffing traces
Bloody attires placed behind
A small reminder of the places
Scattered remains undefined.

Such enigmas are interesting
Mangled body thrown aside
In the woods, for the searching
Buried crimes remain belied.

So they followed the pied piper
Such is virtue and ignorance
Crooked hearts serve as riders
Smaller frames, much belligerence.

So they lured them with disguises
Left them there for their demises.

Tore their feet, tore their hands
Apotheosize the Hatchet man.

Taste of Opium

Sold my soul to the devil to be able to write down these lines
Talent is not inherited at birth, it’s something given when you sign the dotted line
Wasted my fifteen minutes of fame begging for a whole hour
Now I’m trapped between thoughts of who I was and who I am, it’s so sweet sour.

I have all the words growing inside my head, to send to you
I know that all of this is a damn lie, but by God it looks so much like the truth
The invisible fiery being has been calling in the back of my head
In order to carry on with the pact, I must make sacrifice, turn the living to dead.

The more I see you’re real, the less I believe that you exist
If God is in control of my life, how is it possible that I’ve never seen the exit?…
…Of this never-ending tunnel that leads me nowhere, but the same?
So play chess with the pieces, make a deal, but I was never good at that game.

I’m fighting with things that doesn’t seem to be there, it’s funny
It’s all inside of my mind, I know they can tell me what will be the end of this story
Welcome to the world of the crazies, the insanity seems to be the key
I need to unlock my full potential, so I’ll praise the darkness at the edge of the abyss.

You can give me a weird look, but I will have your full attention
I’ll be writing the words of the ghost that slips from the very next dimension
Even if it’s sounds as absurd, it’s part of the contract, so I have to mention…
…All the strings that the puppeteer who moves this wooden doll holds in suspension.

To do his bid, and have nothing in return, who would want that?
I want it all, I want the love, the lust, the envy, even if that seems pretty bad
For I am a fool, I am a charade, who claims to be what it is, but it’s not
But to be trapped in the figure of speech, when hell feels like ice cold, instead of hot.

If this will lead me to the way out, I will take it, doesn’t matter where it lands
Here have my heart, have my blood, as long as you help me crush them with my hands
Self-arrogant prick, ignorant to what he believes, I’m like the one who fell down
So eat from that apple, have the knowledge of being nude, feed off the ground.

There’s not much to tell, you know that all this is just a fairy tale
Take it as a joke, take it as obscure, they’re just voices that are ready to wail
Take it as true, take it as well, it doesn’t matter, ‘cause all of this is needed for the spell
So back to the topic, back to square one, the vampire marks are starting to swell.

I.C.

Speaking in tongues that no man can understand
In comes the lizard, because it still can lift up and stand
Pseudo ghosts in transmutation of their essence to skins
Every law being followed, written by the hands of their kings.

Hail the Age of Aquarius!
The age of Pisces is long gone
Enter the Kindred Spirit and the Harlot
For the Swindler and the Once-Winged One are in their kingdom.

Go into the dimension where distance folds itself
Don’t you know that Hades was rebuilt by exchanging gold for lead?
PC to PC, and all the rules are bent and broken
Where faceless crowds vociferate their disgust and turn their heads.

Hail the Age of Lilith!
The time for the patriarchy is finally over
Political nonsense! We do what we feel
Binary labels and trinities are for the dumb, the weak and the sober.

Let’s drink for this chance to finally be free
Write it on our walls, hoping for the legion to love it
Open our third eye, feed from the knowledge meant to be
Recover what was left then on the garden
Yes, let’s mother nature take full control
She has all the rights to abort all of her seeds.

Erect all the obelisks, trace all the lines on the floor
To channel what is left on the otherside of this world
No longer needing to mask our truest intention
Hail to our Ethereal Father and blessed be this nation!

…Then You Die

Haunted and searching for escape
Like the ones who came before him
On this never ending twisted maze
Only the loneliness is what embraces
Ghostly voices passing by
He thinks he can capture one of them
And then turn it into life
It’s a make-do remediate
Something to seize his attention for awhile
As he goes back feeling left to die.

Oh all of the words that one could say
It feels like one is delaying the inevitable
Oh let the poor man rest, to pass away
No one is gonna miss what was invisible.

Trembling and with nothing much to do
All the circumstances have come full circle
Oh this never ending torturing dementia
To wait for the ones who won’t ever return
Familiar faces pass him by
But they’re not the ones he thinks they are
What cruel joke to the heart
To be trapped in your own broken mind
As the lines up ahead begin to blur
A smile to disguise all that makes him hurt.

Oh all the things that one wish could say
It feels like one is trying to save what one can’t
Oh let the tired man sway, to take a break
Nobody is gonna remember what they just neglected.

He feels like he can touch the air
But it’s just vapor floating around
They’re all gone, the ones that did care
As he gives his last breath and falls to the ground.

Good night and good bye, kind sir
Who but the ones who’re still alive will try to reminisce?
Until our very own lines begin to blur
And then too be taken away by that very callous essence.

Stream of Voices

I don’t exist
Or exist way too much to be in the way
When silence attacks violently
The voices of those who abused me start chattering.

So bring the guns forward
I’ve been meaning to die for awhile now
Oh, no I do not mean to be ungrateful
But fuck the way I feel about everything when I’m lonely.

Good for you if you don’t speak about these things up front
But for fuck’s sake I’m trying to exorcise my own demons
Can you lend me a hand of getting out of this hell?
Or are you gonna stay on that side, yelling “you can make it!”?

This feeling is fueled by the fact I am physically alone
I don’t want to hear the things I already know
That demonic voice of my own, my low self-esteem
How nobody ever wanted me. How low can I go?

To play the victim and feel sorry about myself
Be in my fucking skin and tell me that everything is ok
“If you’re gonna end it, you should’ve ended it by now”
What kind of fucked up thing is that to say to someone who’s hurting?

New pseudonym The Velvet Empress

Y.O.D.O. (You Only Die Once)

Down and broken
Down, down, down
And broken down
Watch your step, love
You’d leave me here
Out here in cold
Just to meet my fate
Just like your mother told you to.

You know, a funny thing about Karma
It always comes around
It always comes around to fuck you up
So dance in your silver platter, for the while
The devil likes his dishes best served cold
So you better hang onto your angel’s wings
I’ll be praying to the prince of the air
To pull you back down
Back down, where you should be.

Down and broken
Down, down, down
Where voices speak out loud
And the darkness becomes your friend
The walls go for the trade
In an alchemic exchange
But can you see the writing?
Do you understand what the words mean at all?

You know, the funny thing about the twist of the knife
It comes under as part of a sacrifice
The more blood you donate
The more you fill up its thirst
In comes a horror you’re too scared to realize
That what goes up must always come down
That not all angels come from the light
And this one, it fell from the sky.

To die once and then come back to life
It’s such an awkward experience
You can still hear those whispers calling you on
Cause on this side is not where you belong.