Archive for the ‘Existentialism Poetry’ Category

Ryan Lyandree


The Cleanse

Why looking for advices about being whole in the fragmented?
Why look for directions about going home in those who’ve never been there?
You once knew the answers, what have you done with them?
Have them in exchange for a slice of brief camaraderie and fellowship.

You put your trust in human kind and now you are disappointed
You thought they would withhold the grace that not even a God could
Don’t you know that we were prone to fail even when we were perfect?
What made you think that now that after this fall we would’ve learned anything?

You pursuit the essence and logic in the stars and the numbers
But all of it mashes into utter nothingness, darkness, void and silence
You’re trapped in the jigsaw puzzle of the greater scale, the full picture
Surrounded by the echo of your voice bouncing off the walls of this barren place.

Why looking for a clear response in those who are still confused?
Looking for the straight and the just in those whose minds are twisted,
souls are curved and hearts are crooked
You once held the keys, what have you done with them?
Threw them away for a chance to taste on the flesh and mundane pleasures.

You put your trust in an uncertain element and now you dislike the outcome
You thought they’d give you the divine revelation that not even a God could
Don’t you know you were prone to fail from the beginning of this project?
What made you think that if you forced the pieces in they would actually fit perfectly?

You pursuit the autonomy and the refinement in that, which seems, above and beyond you
But you find yourself invisible walls and chains from around keeping you asunder
You’re trapped in the incongruence of the denouement and foolproof evidence
Tortured by the fixated inaccuracies and the inability to mold these principles properly.

What made you think that these misty torrents would make way and its mouth would open?
What made you think you were worthy to be culled, to be given this kind of privileges?
An eye for an eye, a pact, an act of sacrifice, be selfish or vicariously, may be required
Just to be granted just for deserving does not seem to be the way that things work here.

Relaxed, naked, as light as a feather, to be lifted
Then dropped like a rock, pounded against the floor
To hurt and to be broken
To cry and to be healed
An outside source inserted something
An outside source can take it away
The seed you planted, a forest of anger
Burn it down, let the flames purify you.

The cleanse.

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Foresight

Glimpses of self-realization
The night before
Was it a glitch of the brain?
Or are we too proud to accept the changes
And try to fix the mistakes?
When everything that crumbles
Becomes a lesson
You start looking for reasons
To break apart
Any structure holding still.

Acted on my animal instincts
Just a beast searching for its prey
Hungry for long
Starving and looking for scraps
Your essence was so warmth
And welcoming and inclusive
And of course the flesh desires it
To consume and be consumed
No lesson here to be learned
Only to realize our human condition.

What to do with the hollow
The broken and the wounded?
But to love them as they should
But no, this self-destruction is active
Always trying to rip apart
The pieces that don’t conform
Anything that doesn’t suit well
Or doesn’t fit within the big picture.

Glow with your light
As dim as you may find it to be
Grow within yourself
Accept the warmth surrounding you
Embrace the light
Reject all the darkness lurking
Be one with yourself
Let peace and love come together
Let it fill you up and restore
All that is dent and malformed
Go back to the original design
Before our nature got corrupted.

Ryan Lyandree

Antimatter

There’s a gap between what you feel and what you say
There’s a gap between what you think and how you live
Burning all bridges
Crippling all possibilities
You’ve become not an enigma but a random object flickering.

Your actions are so sporadic
Feeding on the chaos of your own clustered cosmos
You think you have found your light, your center
But all we’ve found is you’re antimatter
An asserting black hole.

A collapsing star
Supermassive supernova
In your catastrophic expulsion
Sucking in everything around
It all gets caught in your pull
And then it gets wiped out
One whole existence consumed.

Shining before expiring, you think you’re light
Cause your million gases glimmer through the night
Dragging, pulling, in your event horizon
Your mind and body completely torn apart.

Molecules swirling
Around and heating up
Funneled by the force of gravity
Sucking in everything around
All organisms caught in your pull
And then it gets wiped out
Engulfed in your abysmal bliss.

This gap has found a way to expand itself
This gap has found a way to devour us all
Antimatter
An asserting black hole
A collapsing star
And we’re getting caught in your pull.

 

The Velvet Empress

Catch-22

Lucky, lucky you
With the cards you’re dealt
Wanna bet a little bit more.

Lucky, lucky seven
Against my lucky six, 6, vi
Aren’t you lucky to still be alive?

I’m getting high on infinity
With the scribbles on the scrolls
Aroused by this summoning
As I roll my two snake eyes.

Lucky me, lucky you
Catch-22

Lucky, lucky you
With those dices at hand
Against the mirror to stand.

Lucky, lucky seven
Against my lucky cloud nine
Cashing checks before being able to sign.

I’m getting high on infinity
With this chanting of claptrap
Stimulated and fixated
On this ridiculous game of Craps.

Lucky me, lucky you
Catch-22

I love how you pretend to be Constantine
In your Mephistophelian way of dealing.

Crooked die
Crooked die
Under the sleeves
Under the sleeves

Lucky me, lucky you
Catch-22.

Taste of Opium

Sold my soul to the devil to be able to write down these lines
Talent is not inherited at birth, it’s something given when you sign the dotted line
Wasted my fifteen minutes of fame begging for a whole hour
Now I’m trapped between thoughts of who I was and who I am, it’s so sweet sour.

I have all the words growing inside my head, to send to you
I know that all of this is a damn lie, but by God it looks so much like the truth
The invisible fiery being has been calling in the back of my head
In order to carry on with the pact, I must make sacrifice, turn the living to dead.

The more I see you’re real, the less I believe that you exist
If God is in control of my life, how is it possible that I’ve never seen the exit?…
…Of this never-ending tunnel that leads me nowhere, but the same?
So play chess with the pieces, make a deal, but I was never good at that game.

I’m fighting with things that doesn’t seem to be there, it’s funny
It’s all inside of my mind, I know they can tell me what will be the end of this story
Welcome to the world of the crazies, the insanity seems to be the key
I need to unlock my full potential, so I’ll praise the darkness at the edge of the abyss.

You can give me a weird look, but I will have your full attention
I’ll be writing the words of the ghost that slips from the very next dimension
Even if it’s sounds as absurd, it’s part of the contract, so I have to mention…
…All the strings that the puppeteer who moves this wooden doll holds in suspension.

To do his bid, and have nothing in return, who would want that?
I want it all, I want the love, the lust, the envy, even if that seems pretty bad
For I am a fool, I am a charade, who claims to be what it is, but it’s not
But to be trapped in the figure of speech, when hell feels like ice cold, instead of hot.

If this will lead me to the way out, I will take it, doesn’t matter where it lands
Here have my heart, have my blood, as long as you help me crush them with my hands
Self-arrogant prick, ignorant to what he believes, I’m like the one who fell down
So eat from that apple, have the knowledge of being nude, feed off the ground.

There’s not much to tell, you know that all this is just a fairy tale
Take it as a joke, take it as obscure, they’re just voices that are ready to wail
Take it as true, take it as well, it doesn’t matter, ‘cause all of this is needed for the spell
So back to the topic, back to square one, the vampire marks are starting to swell.

Another poem written using the alias “The Velvet Empress”

Hestia

Big black dogs guarding by the exit door
Mermaids swerving on the dance floor
Lights buzzing on the five pointed star wall
But, goats on two feet are having a ball.

Mars is for boys, and Venus is for girls
But none can make it like so, you swirl
Mythos of an afterimage, ether and merle
Midnight creatures born of the underworld.

Oh mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the most beautiful of them all?
“Just look deep into the glass ball
It’s the fire from the skies taking a fall”

A satellite with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.

Large black figures caught by your eye
Backward masking humming a lullaby
Ghosts and ghouls playing on the perfect song
Carving twisted Decalogue on hollow stones.

Sheep go to heaven, and goats go hell
Wish there was someone you could tell
Logos as an afterthought, ethos and pearls
Shadowy creatures spawn of the underworld.

Oh mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the most beautiful of them all?
“Just look deep into the glass ball
It’s the fire from the skies taking a fall”

A satellite with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.

So welcome back down to earth
Your place sits next to the hearth
Oh, you, I hope all of this is worth
We deviated the objective of your course.

You do not understand my tongue
Cause you can’t read between the lines
Cause what to you might sound dumb
Might hide myriad of secrets right behind.

A star with flaming wings
Just like an angel (coming from heaven)
Just like the devil (going to hell)
A supernova has arrived.

New pseudonym The Velvet Empress

Y.O.D.O. (You Only Die Once)

Down and broken
Down, down, down
And broken down
Watch your step, love
You’d leave me here
Out here in cold
Just to meet my fate
Just like your mother told you to.

You know, a funny thing about Karma
It always comes around
It always comes around to fuck you up
So dance in your silver platter, for the while
The devil likes his dishes best served cold
So you better hang onto your angel’s wings
I’ll be praying to the prince of the air
To pull you back down
Back down, where you should be.

Down and broken
Down, down, down
Where voices speak out loud
And the darkness becomes your friend
The walls go for the trade
In an alchemic exchange
But can you see the writing?
Do you understand what the words mean at all?

You know, the funny thing about the twist of the knife
It comes under as part of a sacrifice
The more blood you donate
The more you fill up its thirst
In comes a horror you’re too scared to realize
That what goes up must always come down
That not all angels come from the light
And this one, it fell from the sky.

To die once and then come back to life
It’s such an awkward experience
You can still hear those whispers calling you on
Cause on this side is not where you belong.