Archive for the ‘Hurt Poetry’ Category

The Bridge

So many beautiful songs written after we broke up
So many beautiful tunes I could’ve dedicated you
But I don’t want to go back to what made us miserable
Cause there’s no way we are getting back to good.

You couldn’t fix my heart
No, you couldn’t save me
You said that wasn’t your job to do
But all I wanted was for you to be the one thing
That could pierce through the darkness
That could bring light to my life
But I put on too much weight
I put too much pressure, and you couldn’t have that.

We burned down the bridge
The things we built together
Now our memories abridged
To feel like this, again is never.

So many beautiful songs written after we broke apart
So many beautiful words I could’ve dedicated you
But I don’t want to go back to what made us desolate
Cause there’s no way for us to undo the damage done.

I couldn’t fix your heart
No, I couldn’t save you
You said that you never intended that for me
But all I wanted to be for you was the one thing
That could reach you through the sadness
That could bring love to your heart
But you pushed me too aside
You closed the door shut, and I couldn’t have that.

We burned down the bridge
The things we built together
Now our memories abridged
To feel like this, again is never.

So many beautiful songs written that I will never get to sing
So many beautiful tunes that we will never hear together
So many beautiful words that I will never get to dedicate you
All the love that I can’t hand you because it’s no longer wanted.

I can’t rely on the past
I can’t rely on the now
And that we once had
It’s gone, broken down.

We burned down the bridge
The things we built together
Now our memories abridged
To feel like this, again is never.

Again is never
Again is never
So many beautiful things
Gone, broken down
Again is never
Again is never
Again is never
Never…

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I’ve written a lot of poems lately. This one is dedicated to the people who deserves better from others.

Unfair Disadvantage

The best of us
Given to the ones
Before us
Given to the ones
Who pushed us
Against a wall
And now us
Given no choice
We give less.

You might say it’s okay
But I can see the light of day
It’s not as bright
as it used to be.

To try and make it right
After making it wrong for so long
How can you go back?
How can you restitute trust and honesty?

The ones after this
Will have an unfair disadvantage
The burden of our emotional baggage
Our pseudo love and short string of caring.

What was bent and broken,
How can you go making it okay again?
When the cracks are still visible
And the needle still stings
Is there such a thing as forgiveness?
For one and for others
Is there such a thing as to let go?
And if so if there’s a way
To go back and feel okay again
Without a hint or a reminder
Of how bad it used to it
To consequences of repeating it
The fear and the wall up
Are we ever to believe?
Are we to restitute that trust?
In ourselves and in others.

The ones that come next
Will have an unfair disadvantage
The burden of our emotional baggage
Our pseudo love and short string of caring.

This is the first time I write something or say something addressing about how I feel after hearing about my son’s condition. It’s been a week today since that horrible message appeared on my phone that Saturday morning.

The First Step

I think it’s time to open my heart
And reveal all these hidden scars
Like it or not, nothing I can do
For how long will I keep things from you?
My audience might be only God
Or maybe the thoughts in my head
But I have to do this, no other choice
No matter if inside I feel dead.

I’ve been searching for the things I’ve been feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for all of the right words
Four breakdowns in less than a month
I don’t know how much I can withstand, I can uphold.

When I heard the phone rang,
I knew it was bad news
I woke up with my heart in my mouth
My biggest fear has finally become true
And I don’t know if there’s a God
But everyone has been asking me to pray to it
For all that I knew then I have forgot
And my faith isn’t exactly what it used to be.

I’ve been searching for a way to describe the feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for a time to say the right words
Do you think that any time I will be healing?
Do you think that this tragedy will make it much worse?

This is the way I channel my emotions
I have finally found a way to try to let go
As I attach myself to every motion
Of all the things that I now know
I see evil in the faces of those who always were
And the light still hasn’t reached for me
I find kindness in the words of strangers
It’s something I never expected to be.

I’ve been searching for a way to express how I’m feeling
Yes, I’ve been looking for a way to let you all know
Do you think that any time now I will start healing?
Do you think that this life has a way to turn things around?

This is what a friend of mine would call a “vomit” poem. This is based on the many stories I’ve heard.

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I know she sold her soul for a taste of a kiss
But all she got was the taste of his fists
She was twisted, now she needs to be torn
So he unleashes all the hell of his storm
She would get on her knees to pleasure him
But he wants more of that choking fun
She feels so dirty, tries to wash off her sins
All he fucking cares about it just to come.

A couple of lonely hearts with their faces splashed in coke
Sour pints, what a night, in and out, fate is just a joke
She looks my way and winks, but I nod and shrug upon
This is not my story; I’m just a watcher, so go and carry on

I know that through these lens evidence’s kept
But she wants to burn it all and just forget
She was abused, now she needs to be disposed
So he grabs the laces and has her roped
One punch to the mouth to have her teeth in
And he cannot stop from unleashing it all
She feels the pain, her swollen chest starts to sink
But this fucker’s having a blast, having a ball.

A couple of warped souls with their livers full of booze
Chalked lines, what a day, out and in, life is just to lose
She looks at me and weeps, but I nod and frown upon
This is not my problem; I’m just a voyeur, so carry on.

Up in the sky, the road may be different
But down here we dance, and not mind
Angels on the middle looting, participating
I may be g0d but I would also like to unwind.

Poem about some mental illness and emotional issues. It started lighter, but as i kept writing on, it became darker.

Infatuation Whore

Take me in
I don’t want
Don’t need
This reality
What you can
What’s out there
At the moment
Is enough now.

Cause beggars cannot be choosers
Throw my self-worth out the window
Put myself on sale
Something that anyone could be interested.

Put me in
Just right next
To where
Something is
Anywhere
Doesn’t matter
Just inside
Is good enough.

Cause hunger cannot be demanding
Being cheap, just like a whore
When you come to break me
Know that I’m already completely broken.

My heart might be hot garbage
But my soul is worth at least a penny
Remember that when you dismantle me
I’m selling my body because I need the money.

Don’t worry
You’re not the first who has ever touched me
In this way
Or any other way.

A very personal poem


A Voice Starting To Grow a Face

The words from your voice
Became the voice in my mind
And I kept feeding it and feeding it
Until it became the only thing I could hear

You put these monsters on front
I was the one who turned them into demons
You offered me disappointed in myself
I was the one who signed the pact and agreed on it.

Now that you’re gone
I keep having these thoughts as my masters
I feel whatever they want me to feel
And live by their law that I’ll always be worthless.

As I kept fighting your lies
Deep inside I started believing they were true
And now when I look at the mirror
I can only see the rejection, disgust and judgment.

‘Cause as you said; “this world is threatening”
“be careful who you trust in this life”
“they will break your heart and you will be nothing”
“you can only count in yourself and no one else”
I began realizing that this voice is starting to grow a face.

And with your indifference and lack of love
I learned that you were special as you screamed “You are not!”
I’m here to break the pattern, to undo the loop
This hierarchy of madness and violence stops right here.

When art meets extreme painful feelings

Erased Completely

Here, here is where you left me
Here, here is where you threw me away
I kept on waiting, even when you said it was over
I kept on waiting, hoping you would change your mind.

But this life is so fucking miserable
And this life is so fucking unfair
I know I hurt you, I know you hurt me
But don’t you ever think that I didn’t care.

Don’t take my feelings for less
Don’t you fucking do this to me!
Don’t take all we lived for nothing
Cause you know damn well that I loved you intensively.

Here, here is where we left off
Here, here is where you cut me off
I kept on waiting, like a canceled TV show, hoping to be renewed
I kept on waiting, like sudden death, ‘cause now I’m mourning.

But this life is such a fucking joke
And this life has put me to the test
I know I hurt you, I know you hurt me
But don’t you ever think that I didn’t try my best.

Don’t take my feelings for less
Don’t you fucking do this to me!
Don’t take all we lived for granted
Cause you know damn well that I loved you intensively.

All thrown away
Every fucking thing that grew inside my heart
Thrown away
Why should I move on and begin again?
When you’re the proof that love goes down the shitter
All your hate and indifference, tears me apart
Damn my life, I cannot stand having lost you
Please, release me, pull the trigger as you cut the cord.

Pathetic as only I can be
I always knew you were gonna end up hating me
Pathetic as only I can be
You swore, crossed your heart you were never gonna be my enemy.

And for what?
All this life is only a lie
Where I longer exist
What’s only left’s to rot and die.