Archive for the ‘Hurt Poetry’ Category

Poem about some mental illness and emotional issues. It started lighter, but as i kept writing on, it became darker.

Infatuation Whore

Take me in
I don’t want
Don’t need
This reality
What you can
What’s out there
At the moment
Is enough now.

Cause beggars cannot be choosers
Throw my self-worth out the window
Put myself on sale
Something that anyone could be interested.

Put me in
Just right next
To where
Something is
Anywhere
Doesn’t matter
Just inside
Is good enough.

Cause hunger cannot be demanding
Being cheap, just like a whore
When you come to break me
Know that I’m already completely broken.

My heart might be hot garbage
But my soul is worth at least a penny
Remember that when you dismantle me
I’m selling my body because I need the money.

Don’t worry
You’re not the first who has ever touched me
In this way
Or any other way.

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A very personal poem


A Voice Starting To Grow a Face

The words from your voice
Became the voice in my mind
And I kept feeding it and feeding it
Until it became the only thing I could hear

You put these monsters on front
I was the one who turned them into demons
You offered me disappointed in myself
I was the one who signed the pact and agreed on it.

Now that you’re gone
I keep having these thoughts as my masters
I feel whatever they want me to feel
And live by their law that I’ll always be worthless.

As I kept fighting your lies
Deep inside I started believing they were true
And now when I look at the mirror
I can only see the rejection, disgust and judgment.

‘Cause as you said; “this world is threatening”
“be careful who you trust in this life”
“they will break your heart and you will be nothing”
“you can only count in yourself and no one else”
I began realizing that this voice is starting to grow a face.

And with your indifference and lack of love
I learned that you were special as you screamed “You are not!”
I’m here to break the pattern, to undo the loop
This hierarchy of madness and violence stops right here.

When art meets extreme painful feelings

Erased Completely

Here, here is where you left me
Here, here is where you threw me away
I kept on waiting, even when you said it was over
I kept on waiting, hoping you would change your mind.

But this life is so fucking miserable
And this life is so fucking unfair
I know I hurt you, I know you hurt me
But don’t you ever think that I didn’t care.

Don’t take my feelings for less
Don’t you fucking do this to me!
Don’t take all we lived for nothing
Cause you know damn well that I loved you intensively.

Here, here is where we left off
Here, here is where you cut me off
I kept on waiting, like a canceled TV show, hoping to be renewed
I kept on waiting, like sudden death, ‘cause now I’m mourning.

But this life is such a fucking joke
And this life has put me to the test
I know I hurt you, I know you hurt me
But don’t you ever think that I didn’t try my best.

Don’t take my feelings for less
Don’t you fucking do this to me!
Don’t take all we lived for granted
Cause you know damn well that I loved you intensively.

All thrown away
Every fucking thing that grew inside my heart
Thrown away
Why should I move on and begin again?
When you’re the proof that love goes down the shitter
All your hate and indifference, tears me apart
Damn my life, I cannot stand having lost you
Please, release me, pull the trigger as you cut the cord.

Pathetic as only I can be
I always knew you were gonna end up hating me
Pathetic as only I can be
You swore, crossed your heart you were never gonna be my enemy.

And for what?
All this life is only a lie
Where I longer exist
What’s only left’s to rot and die.

Ryan Lyandree

Shroud of the Veil

I’m not gonna cry
For I am stronger than this
I’m only gonna fight
Whatever is pressing me in, suppressing me
I better hold tight,
Dizzy and down on both knees
My face won’t slump to the ground
I’m mauling my lips with my teeth
With the taste of iron collecting in my mouth
As salty and sour as my restrained tears
I am hurting
Both mentally and physically
Not to mention fucking emotionally…
Like a wounded animal,
(But) I will wield and I will not yelp
And although internally I am bleeding
(No) I won’t beg or ask for your help
I’m keeping the pressure on
You won’t see any seep, you won’t see a drop
But when I get up from here
I swear I’m gonna go for your head
Oh by Thelema and BaalZebub
You better be ready, asshole!
‘Cause I’m gonna go for your fucking throat.

This was a battle
Where I allowed you to give me your best shot
And to shoot first
Foolish of me
I accept I was overconfident
But now that I’m addled
And on my way to almost expire
I stare at my maker’s eye
I swallow this hard pill
For it has come to me, like the veil being shrouded
Revealed to me, by an act of apparent flitting divinity
That with my pain I shall dissolve your ivory tower
With all of my agony I shall bring down your dirt empire

So come on
Come closer to me
You want to be in touch with my soul?
You really want to see the root of my anger?
Come, thy brother
Come see the burden
The secret shall be revealed to you!
Come closer, thy brother
Can you already feel it?
Can you hear any of them?
The whispers turn into screams
The demons tormenting!
Feel my pain!
Feel my agony!
Goddamn it!!!
Why don’t you feel my pain?!
Come and feel my agony!
I shall crush you and I will destroy you!
Even if it’s the last thing I do in my feeble and miserable existence
I will put you in my shoes
I will drag you down with me
And you’ll feel how’s to be crawling like a ravished and trampled snake.

Then you will have what you really wanted
And then I will have what I really needed
An equivalent exchange of the suffering
We shall both be the losers but as long as you’re not winning
I shall always be grateful
I shall always be one with my shadow.

…Then You Die

Haunted and searching for escape
Like the ones who came before him
On this never ending twisted maze
Only the loneliness is what embraces
Ghostly voices passing by
He thinks he can capture one of them
And then turn it into life
It’s a make-do remediate
Something to seize his attention for awhile
As he goes back feeling left to die.

Oh all of the words that one could say
It feels like one is delaying the inevitable
Oh let the poor man rest, to pass away
No one is gonna miss what was invisible.

Trembling and with nothing much to do
All the circumstances have come full circle
Oh this never ending torturing dementia
To wait for the ones who won’t ever return
Familiar faces pass him by
But they’re not the ones he thinks they are
What cruel joke to the heart
To be trapped in your own broken mind
As the lines up ahead begin to blur
A smile to disguise all that makes him hurt.

Oh all the things that one wish could say
It feels like one is trying to save what one can’t
Oh let the tired man sway, to take a break
Nobody is gonna remember what they just neglected.

He feels like he can touch the air
But it’s just vapor floating around
They’re all gone, the ones that did care
As he gives his last breath and falls to the ground.

Good night and good bye, kind sir
Who but the ones who’re still alive will try to reminisce?
Until our very own lines begin to blur
And then too be taken away by that very callous essence.

My most honest poem to date

Uninspiring Eulogy

Stop feeling sorry for yourself
You are him
Yes, you have become one of the demons
that you so hide so much from within
So own it like a man
There will be no forgiveness and no redemption
Best eat this dish cold
Cause you’ve fucked up
And though you think this is not your fault
There’s no one else to blame
Stop saying how sorry you are
No one will eat up that charade again
Yes, this is your life and this is where you have driven it
This was your decision
And you’re the only one held responsible
So if someone wrong-did
It was you, it was you to yourself, and you to others
So stop crying
And stop raging on
Told you, no apologies will make things okay again, no.
So let the others heal
Concentrate on your own
Let the others deal with the circumstances they’re living
Some of them that you’ve caused
Let them learn and hopefully forgive you
And if they don’t
Well, it’s time to carry on
Your life doesn’t depend on them
As their lives don’t depend on yours
Learn and love, and love and let live
If there’s something that you should do
It’s simply to just let things be.

Ms. Him Mr. Her

She doesn’t need any friends
Who the hell ever needed any?
You know she can depend of herself
Except when is required another’s opinion
She can do it all on her own
Never seen anybody so damn independent
It doesn’t matter the days she feels alone
She can disguise it all with a forced smile now.

Sometimes she wishes to feel the rain
Other days she prays for the world to burn
She can be at the edge of the end and not fall away
But I know to the center of it all she can never return.

She’s never ever truly wrong
Except for the moments she doubts herself
Don’t dare to give an opinion of your own
That’s an offense she will never forgive, nor forget
Don’t you know she’s the queen of her world?
Who the fuck needs a king when she can do it all?
It doesn’t matter if you truly have fallen in love
She doesn’t need your goddamn affection or empathy.

Sometimes she wishes she wasn’t born
Other days she prays for the world to disappear
She can be at the verge of a breakdown and still not mourn
But I know that when death is so close you can only fear.

She’s doing so much better in her head
While her actions only dictate how she’s losing her mind
“You and I, yeah, we rather be dead”
That’s what she whispers when she’s tired of being kind.

She gives her body and soul to strangers
Cause those are the ones that will forget later on
She risks it all without a fuck about the dangers
And she’s gonna do it all until the day that she’s finally gone.