Archive for the ‘Hurt Poetry’ Category

Stream of Voices

I don’t exist
Or exist way too much to be in the way
When silence attacks violently
The voices of those who abused me start chattering.

So bring the guns forward
I’ve been meaning to die for awhile now
Oh, no I do not mean to be ungrateful
But fuck the way I feel about everything when I’m lonely.

Good for you if you don’t speak about these things up front
But for fuck’s sake I’m trying to exorcise my own demons
Can you lend me a hand of getting out of this hell?
Or are you gonna stay on that side, yelling “you can make it!”?

This feeling is fueled by the fact I am physically alone
I don’t want to hear the things I already know
That demonic voice of my own, my low self-esteem
How nobody ever wanted me. How low can I go?

To play the victim and feel sorry about myself
Be in my fucking skin and tell me that everything is ok
“If you’re gonna end it, you should’ve ended it by now”
What kind of fucked up thing is that to say to someone who’s hurting?

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Alexander Silver

Forlorn

Electric sheep are dancing in my head
As I’m trying to find a way up ahead
‘Cause what they sell here is overpriced
And people here are the kind I despise.

One step forward and two steps back
As I’m trying to find a way to relax
‘Cause what they say I cannot tolerate
My heart slows down and then accelerates.

Time will only tell why I’m still hanging from this rope
Time will only tell why I couldn’t find ways to cope
Time will heal all wounds or is that just what they say?
Cause my skin is itchy and the infection won’t go away.

I’m knocking desperately at your door
But you don’t seem to care to answer
I’ll bring the whole place down before
This self-rejection becomes an anchor.

There’s an animal farm up on the hill
Where livestock are ran through the mill
‘Cause the sense I give them taste so sour
And they don’t charge by the job but by the hour.

One step forward and two steps back
As I’m trying to defend from these attacks
‘Cause what they imply incarcerates
All trace of proof to dispose and incinerate.

Yes, it all seems forlorn
Especially in the ways you said you’d be here
We were like this since we were born
But I guess you choose, to rather die of utter fear.

Here I find myself banging my head against the wall
Waiting for a miracle to happen or for it to begin to fall
My heart slows down and then it suddenly accelerates
I cannot believe they can destroy it all but not create.

Slenderman

I remember the day that the world faded way
Oh you were falling like an angel, holding a dagger
You took my children, took my heart, and took my hope
And you were smiling like the devil
Cause you know you made the crime
But never really paid the price.

I’ve paid my dues with the devil
But the lord doesn’t want to know about me
Karma’s such a bitch and I’ve been treated like a bastard
No father, no mother, no son, no anything.

So I took my pills and said goodbye to what was left
But something keeps pulling me back and into the cage
In this never ending loop of constant losing
Even the lord doesn’t have mercy on my soul
Cause since quite long ago even he stopped caring.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t think I can feel at all
All I want is to harm you in the way you’ve harmed me
But then consciousness takes ahold, drives me round a guilt trip
And I see you by the side of my corpse, cackling and laughing.

I’ve slept with the whores of Babylon
I think even them are in need of some love
I’m so confused, should I care or have pity?
This crooked tree never made it into a cross.

I yelled for help but there’s no one here who cares to aid
All they are fallen bodies pulling, dragging one another
Darkness seems a common denomination for the ones residing here
The fact that I can’t seem to find Him
Is what the world seems to love about me.

I don’t know what the future holds but one thing is for sure I’ll keep on writing. This one is from Amanda White

Archipelago

Category and distance
Those are the rules of being polite
I’ve never met anybody
Quite as honest, as harsh as you.

You shine like a star
You are burning
You’re hot like lava
And I’m melting.

This is building a bridge
To places I’ve never wanted to go in me
I know we wanted to turn our islands
Into a sweet paradise, into a big archipelago.

But you’re ticking on like a time bomb
And I’m the putting up the hours
There’s no switch to turn the senses off
So the sweet is turning sour.

Residues of an apparent lifetime
Like ghosts of an abandoned habitat
We could’ve been so kind
But instead we only brought the bad.

You shined like a star
You were burning
You were hot like lava
Until you melted in.

And the house we were edifying
Didn’t have a strong foundation to withstand it
And now it’s time to close down that door
And in all sadness, leave you right behind it.

Cause you came like a match reaching me
And I’m a jasmine scented fuel tank
And with your fire, I burned and burned good
So now I cannot allow myself to keep on corroding.

So it’s time for our souls to take sail
As our hearts, hopes and dreams to sink
I’m now deciding for our winnings and fails
And you can think whatever you wish to think

But its time…
It’s time to be formal
It’s time to be strangers
Back to gaps and silence bits
Back to feeling somehow unfit.

Time will help me forget about all the wounds
Time will help me forget all about you
Time will only tell if we will remain friends
Or if inside my pain I’ll whisper “screw you.”

The Voice of the Devil

Grab on this corpse
And put it back in
Oh, how much have I long
For the day I welcome the misery
Back into my arms
Back into my soul
No, I will not understand
Yes, I will be cold
Push aside in despite
Of all the good I’ve done
Oh what a passage of rite
So callous to the bone
Chew it and spit it out
The taste have grown stale
As I scream and I shout
And watch this ship go to sail.

This storm, oh holy diabolical confusion
The intrusion of the so called friends
For now you’ll enjoy the division
But all your angels will soon become fiends
Every mistake back at you
I will be happy when the death touches
The one thing leading you through
I wanna see it lie in the dirt with the roaches.

Oh, happiness
Am I the only one grieving?
Seem like you’re smiling
Is it so fruitful what you’re conceiving?
This knife on my back
I will one day take it out
And I will draw a track
To disfigure your surmount.

You all come in packages
I was thrown down here
And all the dark influences
Will strike as your biggest fear
Come on, the one you will hate
Come on, the one that will not tolerate
Self-destruction with you tied to me
Cause if I go down, you’ll go down with me.

New Amanda White poem.

MMM

Brand new
He promised me I’d be brand new
But how can I be
When since I can remember
They kept unwrapping me
Out for dessert
At lunch, and at dinner
And sometimes at breakfast
While everyone’s still asleep.

Here at the magical center
Where all of my flaws can be eradicated
Let me be hospitalized for awhile
Maybe then the Mister Master Medic
Can heal me from all of my bad feelings
Get rid of all the pain under my skin
And all the way around and inside
Just right where they injected all the bad seeds into my mind.

Used to
I’m so used to all you people looking at
As if it was my fault
Well, then, I can take it
I can take all of the stares
And the whispers
And all the rumors across
Here in my head, my heart
My soul and in my own house.

Here at the magical center
Where all of my bad self can be baptized
Let me go underwater for awhile
Maybe then the Mister Master Medic
Can heal me from all of my night terrors
Get rid of all the ache under my bones
And all the way around and inside
Just right where they injected all the bad seeds into my mind.

One day from a velvet girl
I’ll become a red head woman
One day this strawberry child
Will become ripe on her own merits.

Does it taste different, just a bit stale after a while?
Does the savor changes after being “sampled” for so long?
Oh, lover, how I wish I was in a brand new packaging?
Become the brand with a flavor that you’d enjoy the most.

A poem I’ve written under the name “Lauren Black”

Voling Thermo

How subtle this gathering
How lovely this family is
With their eyes locked at
With their lies sealed in
Open lips smacking
When chatting and dining
How so cultural
See how we keep on pretending.

Glory to the queen
And her servants
Here comes the princess
I’m not up for the crown.

How inspiring this welcoming
How faultless everything is
With their mouth murmuring
About outspoken chattering
Bright faces smiling
When inquiring and indicting
Such professionalism
On how we keep on dissembling.

Glory to her majesty
And one of her heir
Here comes the parade
I’m not up for the charade.

I may be never be your favorite daughter
Under secrets and false pretenses attempts
Oh how you’ve become such an exemplary mother
To the neighbors, my sister and both’s friends
But to me you will always be a symbol
One that I could never dare to interrogate
Excuse me for being so upfront and so bold
For I cannot excuse the things you allegate.

So…
Glory to her illustriousness
May the children of her children
Follow on her footsteps
Cause I…
I’m not up for the pretense.

Excuse me for being so upfront and so bold
For I cannot excuse the things you allegate.
Sorry for not trusting the pretexts I’ve been told
For I can never truly depend while you dissimulate.