Archive for July, 2013

Today Is Not The Past
 
I don’t want to stare at the horrors that this life has committed upon you
But I don’t want to deny the rights you have to let them know it is true
If you hide behind that mask, you know you will never be able to let go
This world has given you shit, so fuck this world, be who you need to be.
 
Oh, no, it doesn’t always have to be this dark
Don’t use it as an excuse; you are safe from any harm
Oh, no, I know it’s not as easy as a walk in the park
But if you’re going to give in, give in into love’s arms.
 
Let go of the hurt
Let go of the thing holding you back
First things first
You must let go, today is not the past.
 
I don’t want you to run hastily into a shelter this world has made for you
But I don’t want you to think that you should be in a hellhole, dark and gloom
If you put yourself into that corner, you know that the world will kick you around
What do they know about you, the denial of your rights to express your own sound.
 
Oh, no, we don’t have to depend on any of it
But living all alone without anyone else could make it worse
And yes, we’re sick of everyone giving us shit
But if you’re gonna complain, complain about you not bettering.
 
Let go of the struggle
The shackles holding you back
I know everything’s a hustle
But you must let go, today is not the past.
 

Will It Ever End?

Posted: July 31, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Looking at the poetry I’ve transported to Word archives, I see there are 1,480+ poems. That’s without including the ones that are still in paper and the ones I’ve written using my electronic devices. I think I’ve written more than 2000 poems in my life. I don’t mean to say they’re all good. Being a guy with such low self-esteem, I believe more than 60% of them truly suck. Still I can’t stop writing poetry. Sometimes I think to myself; will it ever end? Will it come a point that I got nothing else to write about? As long as the world keep being how it is, I think there’s always a topic to address. Have a nice day everyone. 🙂

You Are My All
 
Now that I’m gone
And can’t no longer be there
Do you think the rest of my bones
Will show you all that I care?
 
This is a thing that no one will understand
Only if they were in my skin and my shoes
But the very fire time I held you in my arms
You planted a seed on everything I find to be true.
 
I apologize for not writing these words I have for you before
You have given me hope, given me love, given me life
You so small, always picking me up when I was down on the floor
You are my spark, you are my heart, you are my soul; you are my all.
 
Now that I’m away
And can’t no longer hold you
Would you always remember the days
That I was right with you?
 
This is a thing I never let anyone see but you
Only if everyone was like you, my flesh and blood
I remember the very first time I heard the news
I knew that this is the life I’m supposed to live, I understood.
 
I apologize for never revealing to you how much you mean to me
You have given me a reason to keep on fighting this hard life
Inside all of the darkness I hold in my heart, you know you’re the light
You are my spark, you are my voice, you are my soul; you are my all.
 
Cause all the hate, pain, angst I hold inside
It goes away when I hold you in my arms
And nothing else around this place matters
Other than the fact that there’s love here.
 
Here’s a little shelter, our little haven
Inside of the memories of the time we spent together
And if this the last day for me in this earth
I want to you to know you are the reason for my betterment.
 
You are the glue holding it together
You are the warmth keeping my heart beating
You are the piece of heaven, you are God’s promise
That there’s hope for a better tomorrow, a better world.
 

No Topic Addressed

I’m sick of blaming myself for the things I’ve done
Why won’t nobody else do the same and take the blame?
I’m sick of having to fit into somebody else’s pretense
Why won’t anybody get a little closer and taste how it hurts?

I’ve done enough in order for you to relate
But you’re just wondering how much should it take
I’m done with all the trying and begging for mercy
If you think it’s fair to kick you around to the edge.

I’m sick of having to get closer for a simple response
Why won’t you do the same instead of only me doing this?
I’m sick of feeling as if I’m doing something wrong by letting go
You say I should overcome this but you keep doing it.

If I hide into the darkness, you won’t notice me
But you hide inside the darkness to be noticed
I’m sick of this dramatic manipulation of the means
You are either inside this or you completely regret it.

And so goes the way of the wound
But not of the healing
Can you deal with the brokenness
And not be always against it?
If you close your eyes
Can you really feel the pain inside?
Or have you grown so distant
That you cannot relate to these things in our lives?

Written using the alias “Amanda White”
 
D.O.S. (Deliverer of Sorrows)
 
In the chambers
Where the currents lie
Extraordinary pretense
Everything here is a device.
 
A phoenix poses for the picture
But there’s no camera around
Giving birth to dying vestiges
Bursting infertile to the ground.
 
When you can’t make noise only with pianos
When your tears are not enough rock n roll
One must make the decision to cut the cord
And let the genii and fiends take full control.
 
And since my protector continues to be absent
I’m gonna lay here in my stepfather’s lap
Just like it used to be with him, as a young lass
Except this one was only made for mishaps.
 
Paradigm of the occult
Where the chants are evoke
Intravenous venomous
Every soul is a given toke.
 
A chimera howls for her misery
A hunter’s thirst here abounds
Exposing every buried mystery
Every single secret to be found.
 
When you can’t shake the world with your rattle rod
When your wailing is not enough to break through
One must make the decision to make an instant stop
And let all of the musky dimness take shape too.
 
And since my creator continues to be imperceptible
I’m gonna lay here in my destroyer’s lap
Just like it used to be with him, down on my knees
Except this one was only made for mishaps.
 
A scarlet dagger to kill the beast inside
When its evil has uninvitedly penetrated you
No preacher of God can help escape the signs
That has been hindered deep inside of you.
 
Joshua
Emmanuel
Christos
Deliverer of sorrows.
 
Written using the alias “Amanda White”
 
Fourberie Scenery
 
Scarlet and Azure went for a ride
Amber was waiting for them outside
Told them they had Jade captive
Atramentous was asking for a ransom.
 
Cause vermin rave until they can’t no more
And scoundrels enjoy the path of the gore
Crooning songs to the wandering phantoms
Retailing the flesh of their unwanted progenies.
 
Shadows echoes a story a thousand times told
But the gasping, scrubbing, groping never grows old.
 
So they went there to pay a visit
Ventured into the gates of Paradise’s pit
But the price for blood is exorbitant
And the scent of virginal youth’s intoxicant.
 
Pillars drawn in veins and muscles and silver blood
Thick and damp, carved in stone and wood
Abstruse, the king of dragons seated in his throne
One glass for the stupor, one glass for the thaw.
 
Razors tear a pathway a thousand times coursed
But the abashment, infamy, anguish never washes off.
 
Fourberie scenery
Spectacular for the ocular simplicities
Such taste for the hoary mouth
Ignominy for the epithelium pilfered.
2:38
 
I tried to fix it with my hands
But I think it’s broken beyond repair
In my head I’m trying to understand
But my thoughts they don’t seem to care
Cause fear is still a demon possessing me
And anger is part of the legion roaming
Weak of me, stupid of me, pathetic of me
If I could kill this even if it cost my being.
 
I’ve survived hell but for how long?
Everyplace I go I still feel I don’t belong
I’ve begun to love myself but is that enough?
Will that do to return to me what was lost?
Cause in my head this world is a wasteland
In my heart there’s always something for the fall
And every time I am close to the entrance
Something pushes me back to the beginning and against the wall.
 
All the things I know now
All the things I have learn
They can help somehow
But they won’t always keep me safe from the burn
That this fire inside keeps on calling
I need to calm the voices that are yelling
I know my end will always be my demise
But isn’t that what I subliminally wanted for my life?
 
These are the choices I’ve made
This is the path I’ve taken
I’m sick of riding the wave
I want a thing of my own
The light at the end of tunnel
Can only be achieved if I give up
Instead of constantly giving in
I need to get out from my death bed, I need to stand up.
 
I realize the chaos I’ve caused inside myself
I realize the danger I have put myself through
By trying to do my best I’ve committed suicide
By trying to do what’s right I’ve killed it all
Isn’t there even a way to ever get it right?
Or is this road always be full of riddles
Without a true answer to the questions brought to light?
I guess there only thing left for us is our lives.
 
I feel like a rabid dog running in circles
But that’s the only maze God has given me
There must be something about this endless cycle
There must be a meaning behind that I still haven’t figured out
If you could point me in the direction I should be walking
If you could draw the places right here in this map
I’m very good following instructions that are clearly explained
Are you here to help me or this is just another trap?
 
If I close my eyes, can I trust you would guide me?
If I let go, can I trust you would catch me before I fall?
If I open my heart, can I trust you would take care of it?
If I give my life to you, can I trust you would respond when I call?