Archive for the ‘Lauren Black Poems’ Category

This is inspired on a fictional character I’m thinking to write a novel about. I based the character on people I met back when I was younger.

Disrupted

You’re so damaged
That means I love you
I must be attracted to you
Cause the coarseness in me
Needs, wants, desires
To shed a tear
To share a smile
To make sick jokes
About touchy subjects.

You are so cool
Such a twisted sense of humor
Let’s drink wine all night
Cast spirits from our Ouija boards
Call 911
Prank them
Then burn down this
Fucking house
With everything and everyone in it.

We are so disrupted
So corrupted
But is it our fault?
Or is our parents’?

Let’s do something crazy
Like snort some coke
And dye our hair in green
Then drive all night
A hundred miles
Passing lights
Against the transit.

Let’s rob a store
Let’s flip a cop
Jump off a bridge
With rocks tied to our bodies.

Let’s express our ODD
You and me
Break the chains
Of these constricted restrictions.

Oh, dear my,
We have no time to be sorry
Here the doors of hell awaits us
Or of purgatory’s
Whatever is found
On the other side
Of our corrosive decisions
And our need to destroy it all.

We are so disrupted
So effing corrupted
But is it our fault?
Or is our parents’?

Let’s express our ODD
You and me
Bring the walls down
Of this constricted confinement.

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I wrote this while thinking about a novel I want to write…

Disowned Daughters

You and me
We’re not so different
From one another
What a sister could be to a brother
If a brother could reverse roles
Cause we’re both members of the same gender
Two dethroned, disowned daughters
That has been lingering on
Back in a time when
All that we were curious about
Had to be swept under rug
And now that years has passed us by
Now that we are a tad bit older
Have we kept the true intent
to be precarious and adventurous?
Or do we still need to be discreet
Just to keep a fatuous appearance?

For how long do you intent for me to keep silent?
You know they lived their lives without ever consulting anybody
No, my intention is not to bring your whole world down
But for how long do wish for us to live in shame with our heads bowed?

Oh, dear Molly Jenny
I never meant to strike to kill
But you don’t seem to understand
How betrayed by you I feel
When you don’t confront the world
When you conform to what you’re told
When you don’t come forward for the cause
We’ve fought so much about, for so long
Even when we ended up hidden, locked up in our rooms
With no other choice but biting our tongues.

In my heart of hearts there is this ever burning desire
That one day we’ll walk proudly against the oppressing fire
That we’ll stop walking blindfolded on this tightrope wire
To adjourn being something that we’ve been ashamed of
And instead become something for what could be admired.

Dreadful Inner Distress

Who am I today?
I’ll be who you want me to be
As long as we don’t fight baby
No, as long as you don’t leave
I’ll be all encyclopedic
If all you need is to read
I’ll be all organic
If all you need is to eat.

Who I’ll be today?
I hate every version of me
Like my father used to tell me
“You’re very precious, baby”
Oh, daddy, why didn’t you teach me better?
Teach me the difference
Between this me and that me
And every other me.

Who am I today?
Am I my boyfriend’s lover?
Or another’s lover?
Or the waste that nobody wants to touch?
Come tell me
Who do you need me to be?
Isn’t my body seductive…
When you want to have sex with me?

Who should I be today?
A strong independent woman?
Or a foolish slut in need?
You know I too have desires
You know I too have dreams
I too drown in my own tears
When I cannot find a way to sleep…
So what of it?
Who should I be?

Anyone I am
Is it enough for anyone?
Anything I do
Is it enough? Is it though?

I can be all encyclopedic
If you need is to read
I can be all organic
If what you need is to eat
I’ll be your queen
I’ll be you whore
I’ll be what you wish
Just hold me close
And never let go
Never let go
No, no, never let go…
No…