Archive for May, 2013

Good thing I write for no one, except for myself. I write to let things out of my chest, to tell my story, to share what I think about things, about how I feel, and react towards certain aspects in life. That’s why I’ll never fit in any category as a poet or as a writer.

That Moment, That Second, That Instant

Whatever happened to the badasses?
Whatever happened to those who were always struggling?
Now I’m just a stuck up loser
Not popular enough to be a rock star
Not marginalized enough to be a loner
This is not the way I pictured myself
Not angry enough to be a hater
Not happy enough to be a lover.

This is how the high school dilemma comes round again
Who am I? Who am I again?
I traded my gun for neither roses nor bombs
Just for the pleasure of trading it.

Whatever happened to standing up for my beliefs?
Whatever happened for not letting take it from the man?
Now I’m in this limbo, this vortex
That sucks me in and traps me inside
I either strive or give up but I never win
Writing about the same shit that happened a decade ago
Pathetic, I know… I should let it go
But that’s all that learned, I lived
And that’s the only way I knew how to cope with it.

This is how the high school dilemma shows up again
Am I who I wanted to be? Or am I less?
I traded my hate for the love I’m looking for
Cause I believe I too deserve to be happy.

Funny enough nobody will write as mature as I do
Funny enough nobody will write as raw as I do
They’ll all hide in metaphors and gangsta references
But no one will write as straight forward and as honest as I.

The shiny golden age never existed for me
I just rode along the wave until it drowned me
The minutes of fame were shunned down by the nothingness
All that I felt in the time that I thought that I only deserved misery.

That Moment, That Second, That instant…
It was just a dream I lived by and helped me get by…

<p>This is a song I did in collaboration of a singer called Christine Blackwell. I use the alias “DJ Moloch”; one of the many aliases I use when I write and play music. Enjoy it and leave a comment and give a like (as if this was Facebook, LOL). http://youtu.be/kHipKTSuSDY </p><p>Here’s the soundcloud version… http://snd.sc/10JhG3O </p>Image

Click her pic for link

(Written on: March 22, 2013)

The Master’s Orders

This is the day we die
Young as we are, as we were
Here in our death bed we lie
But we’re no longer scared.

The future has been foretold
By the mediums and their crystal balls
Wait till the whole truth unfolds
There won’t be a single stone left unturned

Cause I know your dirty little secret
And I’m gonna blackmail you with it
You should’ve left what was there untouched
Now your dirty little hands must pay for their mistake.

The night is young
And we should take advantage of it
We’re a bit drunk
So why not do what our bodies insist?

The ending of this story is for sure
What grows crooked stays crooked forever
Wait till the whole truth reveals itself
I speak in riddles but this is everyone’s sharing.

Cause I know what hides in the corner of your mind
And I’m gonna scrub it on your face until you finally come to confront it
It’s the way we leviathanians behave
A devilish look with our snake tongues twisting in.

Life is fragile when you play with it
One too many disgraces to fill it with
I’m not the universe, just my own world
And I was sent here to destroy you all.

Don’t take it personal
I’m just obeying my master’s orders
So the next time you feel carnal
Just realize it is what we were designed to be.

(Written On: March 22, 2013)

Numbers Numbers Numbers

There’s an invasion in his head
One too many thoughts trying to get ahold
The enemy lies ahead
Reflections of himself on this cloudy mirror.

He was sent to murder
His eyes bright red
He’s possessed by his own personal demons
Just one smile cracking to pull the trigger.

How do you like the sound of my voice now?
Nobody sees the guy who was born to be hollow
He doesn’t wants money or recognition
He wants revenge, he wants a real order.

He sold his soul to rob of others
It’s the only way it’s gonna go down
I’m envy, I’m jealousy, I’m payback
Give back what you stole or I’ll take it by force if necessary.

(Written On: March 8, 2013)

Life Hurts (Pride Kills)

I think it’d be easier if we didn’t have any feelings
I think it’d be easier if we didn’t really care at all
But the sad part is that we are always hurting
For something that happened, for someone we loved.

We spent so much time and energy building dreams
That then we’ll have to bring down before they crumble
We opened our heart, exposing our fears and frailty
Just to be treated like we’re coldblooded, ignorant and foul.

Time only passes for one side as the other pretend to be enjoying freedom
Sleepless nights thinking if one should go back
While the other is quickly moving forward in life
But none of them has ever come to visit the places that they were before.

The one that got away, the one that hurt you the most
The one that just didn’t care, the one that didn’t notice you exist
So many ones but still there’s no one but the one that things won’t work out with at all
Soon to become the one that will go away to forget about the things you both cherished and loved.

So the hardest part is that I have to enter silence
I have to pretend like I don’t know you anymore
Even though all I ever wanted was to be there for you
All I ever wanted was to be the one in your life.

Love is a box unlocked but stuck deep inside your heart
How can we be so transparent still not see what we are really made of?
How can we still deny one another?
How can we still be this selfish?
Looking for something we can’t find in ourselves
The very main reason we try to find things in others.

If I didn’t know that you have feelings
And if I didn’t know that you hurt at times
I’d believe that I’m alone in this needing
I’d believe that all that I strive was for nothing
But that’s the biggest lie that stands
Cause here in my bleeding hands…
Lays the reason why I chose to love you
The very same reason I wanted for you to love me too.

Cold and frivol in your time of pain
Whenever you need me I won’t be there
Forget all of the times I said that I would
Cause now I am hurting and want you to feel this abandonment.

Pride kills true love
Is the way that is always gonna be
Just when trying to protect ourselves from being hurt
We reject the thing that would’ve brought us real happiness.

(Written on: March 14, 2013)

B.M.F.A.A.H.F.Y.T.H.S.

Give me a pen and a paper
I’ll write you story down
Pain and agony truly sucks
So sorry you never had any fun.

Too bad nobody looks at you
Nobody even knows your name
Been here 3 straight years
So how the fuck they confuse you with the new kid?

The girl you like doesn’t even know you exist
The jocks keep laughing at you and picking on you
Your clothes all torn up, you’re a trailer trash
You’re a freak who’ll never belong with the cool kids.

Head flushed down a toilet
Here comes the big bully
He’s gonna steal all of your lunch money
As everyone else stares and does nothing.

Learn proper English, you fucking retard
You could be Chinese, Indian, or Afghanistan
As if everything in your life didn’t suck bad enough
You got a drunken stepfather who will beat you shitless when you get home.

But there’s nothing your mother or your teacher can do to help
Just go to the school’s counselor, visit your typical therapist
They all should say to you the answers you already know
But not the things that you want to hear… so goddamn it!

So you slit your skin to watch it bleed
Stop eating to become anorexic bulimic
Your life has become one of an indie movie
Funny those are the ones that end with the death of their protagonists

You’re an aberration, an outcast, a sl*t without ever fucking anyone
Somebody’s best friend, but nobody is really there for you
All that you’ve got from love is being touched improperly
And you’re too fat, too thin, too dark, or too pale, so fuck your body.

And if you kill yourself would somebody miss you?
You think about your family, your little brother or sister
But that’s permanent solution to a temporary problem
It’s easy to say things will get better when they’re not living in your skin.

But college is a few weeks further
And once you set foot out of this school you’ll never return
So what was the purpose of all these abusive years filled of torment?
Just the idea of a sick joke that came from those that one day will lie below you.

(Written on: March 5, 2013)

Edity

You are beautiful
The loveliest beauty these two eyes in their lives have ever seen
You are heavenly
A princess quiescent in her deepest of dreams, thirsting for a kiss.

You are the ghost that follows in my dreams
You are the muse that inspires me to sing
You are an angel that blinds me with her light
You are a flower which smell is quite delight.

Love; can you see it?
Looks like my heart beats louder for you
For a minute, without a second thought
It only wants to stay here right beside you.

You are lovely
Smooth honey, a sweet sublime melody drifting inside my fervent soul
You are divine
The engine that moves the machinery on the muscles of my hypnotized heart.

You’re the oasis from which my faith refreshes
You’re the road in which my illusion voyages
You’re the axis of light when darkness closes in
You’re the fire that ignites my brightened being.

Love; can you take care of it?
My heart can only belong with you
For a moment, can you please hold it?
As slowly it begins entering yours.

My life, you are everything beautiful in life I’ve been dreaming of
My ally, my soul mate, with whom I’ll spend the rest of my days
My love, you are the heart of that love I was always looking for
You are the compliment of my hope, which will endure endlessly.

Edity, the queen of my heart
Who impels in me every verse for this beautiful composition
Who delights herself in every verse
You are the fountain of this vast ecstasy, my vital inspiration.