Archive for September, 2013

B   I   U
 
Again I found a place where I can be alone
Well, what I wanted was to relate
But again I found a prison of my own
And I’ve been served more than I can take on my plate.
 
I heard all the reasons and all the excuses
And all of the promises and all the complains
“Better luck next time boy”
Yeah I’ve had a hand on my shoulder for a time now.

 

Like Farm Pigs Dinning In an All You Can Eat Buffet
 
Anger or apathy
Whichever fills your plate
Hungry for devotion
But I’m not a worshiping conformist
So come look for praise somewhere else
Sinful little creature
Under the red wings of a confounded firebird
Rise as such
Pathetic as your ashes are blown away
By the surge of my breathing alone.
 
You’re aberration of a miscarried vision
An abortion of a self-centered consciousness
Never self-aware of the pending circumstances
Always starving while striving in your gluttony.
 
So feed from ignorance
Pagan worshiper
Bend down and take it like a man
The sweet meaty back door stabbing
As I lay my eyes on the fiery prize
For I worship the devil willingly!
 
Come burn in hell for being such an ingenious and senseless fool
Without any scent for logic and still asking for more
I am burning for I knew both our endings
I could’ve avoided it
But I was longing, hungry to be proven right
Now I burn for your lack of abundance
For your fucking, goddamn arrogant ignorance.
 
You’re the compensation for a job thrown down to the shit hole
An abortion of a self-centered consciousness
Never self-aware of the pending circumstances… Never!
Always starving while striving in your gluttony….
Fucking ego-famished imbecile.
 
You are a pig
A farm pig
Dinning
In an all you can eat buffet
You buffoonish, cannibalistic dickless piece of shit!
 
~Ryan Lyandree
 
 
The Awareness
 
Ask your precious Jesus for forgiveness
A mere mortal like me isn’t capable of that
Footstep on forward and face the thickness
Raising from the boldness and the fat
Of your heart… pounding from your chest
You are so bloated… say the very best
A dollar… dime… an apology
Save your sins for the Holy Trilogy…
 
You are so full of it
My friend, you are so full of it
In prayers and praising
You are so full of so much shit.
 
Don’t get me wrong
I always knew who my enemies were
Faith made of stone
At least I’m not half stupid, half scared.
 
I am aware of your nonsense
Are you aware of your ending?
 
Ask your precious priest for blessings
From where I see it you’ll need a lot
Choose a corner, a spot for pissing
For how I see it you’ll need more cups
Long enough… are we taking measure?
Isn’t it swollen? Such minuscule treasure
An inch… a pound… a joke
When it’s shoving in your mouth I hope you don’t choke.
 
You are so full of it
My friend, you are so full of it
Gasping and gaping around
You are so full of so much shit.
 
Don’t get me wrong
I always knew what you fuckers pretended
Faith’s made you dumb
Half stupid, half scared… a total dipshit.
 
I am aware of your nonsense
Are you aware of your ending?
 
I am aware of your nonsense
Are you aware of your bullshit?
 
Something must have happened to your brain
When you came to me, and spoke this to my face
I mean you must have been really insane
To dump this much and still leave the smelly trace.
 
How can you be such a moron?
And expect for me to believe in you?
Why can’t you be less of an idiot?
And maybe I’ll forget I’m dealing with you.
 
Only God knows when you’ll realize it
Only God knows how you will drown
As for me, I had enough of your shit
As for you, let me hand you the crown.
 
King Dipshit
Dispersing shit from out your mouth
Spit it, you dick
Must be a kick to have your head above the clouds…
And when they’re shoving it into your throat I hope you don’t choke
No, when we are giving this back, I hope you don’t choke
‘Cause we need some more, yes, we need some more
We need some more… some more for the road.
 
Please be aware of what you’re saying’s nonsense
Please be aware of what you’re spitting is bullshit.
 
~Ryan Lyandree
Wine
 
A ghostlike feeling came around me
A paranoid impression as if being stared at
And in the shadows it looked like my father
Looked like my brother, and looked like you
As your eyes gazed, my mind was puzzled
Pointing with that twisted finger, evil smirking
Unsteadiness sensation, with a headache, and an uneasy stomach
Just like a child left in the rain waiting for his mother to return.
 
Why do some prayers seem unanswered?
I wasted my voice seeking Jesus sayings
Why do I constantly end up empty handed?
Seems I’ve wasted my time in Jesus teachings.
 
Why do we act this way?
With the drinking and the killing and the joy
Why are we being this way?
As were able to smile, we are able to destroy.
 
I’m just a disgrace for this disrespectful world
I should crucify myself right to the next fool
To leave your house, unhand all of your food
Visit only when you’re on your death bed or Thanksgiving.
 
I should learn how to say my prayers
I should learn when to go to Church
I should learn how to peal this many layers
Just in time before I start to twist and burn.
 
Why this figurine doesn’t do a fucking thing?
Before this virgin I’ve knelled down all night
So why won’t this woman give me her blessing?
I’ve wasted my time in what I thought was right.
 
I am who I am
And I can’t be another
I am who I am
And I can’t be like any other.
 
~Ryan Lyandree
 
Wrote it today and it’s one of my favorite poems… and that’s a lot to say, cause I don’t like most of my poems.
 
Embezzled Identity
 
Somehow along the lines I lost my identity
I wander among the fragments of who I used to be
Try to place it all together, like a scrambled puzzle
But do I even need to bother, my mind jumps up razzing,
Like a mental seizure; shaking and seizing
All of my memories that jumble and race and push on
And try to top one another
It gets bloodier and gorier
It’s like giant boulders adding even more weight on my shoulders
I wish I could drop it but my pride won’t let me do this
I can’t back down from all the bullshit I’m facing now
Precisely the same as I had to go through back then,
Just before it all came burning down to the damn ground
Just like in my teen years when I used to hear whispers coming from the walls
They came pressuring on till I was overcome
And they finally convinced me; I decided to sell my soul
To the imaginary devil that was speaking inside of my head
Those were the days when I resituated my cold corpse and praise on the dead
Cause I wanted to be recognized as being as one of the most talented and artistic
Defying all logic and raising the bar to the point it is stoic
Hunger to reach for the zenith and keeping my fingers crossed for it
I was nothing but a low self-esteem loser,
Being picked on by these damn pricks,
Flushing my head inside the school’s toilets
Having my money stolen from my pockets
I would always freeze when all I wanted was to flip
And give back to those dipshits all that they deserve
They drove me insane to the point that they drew on my head’s map a curve
I remember whenever they would beat me down,
As the air in my brain would drain and I’d collapse
It would send countless electrodes’ waving signals,
Shockingly intensifying my body’s discomfort
My lungs would hyperventilate, clogging up my vessels
Contrasting spasms on my muscles,
Making my thick bones tick and my tight teeth grin
As my patience and grasp of reality be wearing thin
My heart would accelerate to limitless speeds
Blazingly cooking in my veins, boiling up my blood
Revolting my stomach to the point it would made me sick
But I did my best, I dealt well with what I was given
I bought a bat and I bashed their heads in
No, I’m kidding, I didn’t kill them
Although at times I wish I could be their assassin
Each day I’m less of a psychopath
And becoming more of a sociopath
I still dislike most things that come across my path
I’m still dealing with anger issues and wrath
But I hide it all under my sleeves
Pretend it alright
I disguise it with my smile
Play the cards right
I’m an artist with emotional issues
Turbulent notions
Impulses like devils, massacring the innocence
Like cannibals, feeding from all that its human flesh
Losing sense of what life is
Driving the thoughts on my head out of their lines
Out of their safe place, their shelter
Still I can’t par with the pause in this war
I must part ways with forms in conforming
In relying at the lying of truth
I must always have my system up
I know this is messed up
I just can’t shut off the engines
The machinery is all haywire
But I don’t want to burst my tongue in fire for being a liar
And at the end of it all goes blur,
I can’t define what’s real anymore
I can’t recognize the deviance that has come upon myself
I just go all the way
Though I think I’m not crazy
I’m thinking I might be losing my mind a bit
All I was taught how to be scholar
Luciferian for the sign of the dollar  
Ripping my teeth outs, even my molars
Jumping from one identity to the other
I’m not even bipolar,
Cause I got three fucking different characteristic
Individualistic personalities
One that’s strangling my collar
One that’s stabbing my chest and one slitting my wrists
And this unholy trinity plays with what’s left of me
Just a dusty coffin cuffed up from the pits of hell
And what else can I say?
This portrait pictured of who I used to be
A small child raped, a young boy beaten
Begging for the heavens and Gods to make notice
But now I know that my life is nothing more than a mess
Less of a bless, left dead for a blissful wishing.
 
Fervor Instant
 
You are so beautiful
Your screams of pain and pleasure
Drive into my brain
Driving my insane
All I want to do is to love you
So let me kiss you a while
Let me caress you awhile
Till you feel your body getting warm
And you’re ready for the night
I promise at the end of it
I will still hold you tight.
 
The way you smell
That mix of perfume and sex
Just stay with me here awhile
Let me stare at your beautiful smile
Let me sink into your beautiful eyes
Let our bodies do their job
Meet one another till they find comfort
And my sweat be your sweat
And your saliva be in mine
Let’s lock ourselves like this and never let go.
 
I’ve never felt this much in love
You’re passionate and sweet
Full of raw anger and compassion
And that’s just your personality
Cause your sexuality take me
Into deeper, higher levels of ecstasy
You make me understand
The meaning of the word “intimacy”
It’s right here in your arms
Laying my head between your breasts
As you hold me tighter
Softly whispering to my ear
“We’ll always be together
We’re gonna be okay.”
 
I bow down to no nation. I won’t give my life to no ruler. I don’t salute any flag. I don’t trust any political power. I don’t believe in anarchy either. And my definition of terrorism is quite different from others. I don’t encourage violence. I don’t believe in invading other countries and killing their people just to prove a point about who’s in control. I respect every form and way of life. I don’t agree with murder… that includes electric chair, poison gas, lethal injection, etc. I am pro-life and not pro-death. Here’s a video that shows about how feel for any and every kind of government there is.