Archive for July, 2014

I wrote this poem 11 years ago. It was in Spanish. I decided to translate it and post it here. Enjoy!

Woman

When I presence your exuberant essence
I faint into the most profound of the infinite
There’s something in your eyes, the way that they glare
That makes me weak in my knees, and for that I declare
I want to feel those silky fragile hands brush over my dry dismaying face
There’s something about your soul that makes mine get drunk with grace.

There are no doses enough for me to drown the picture of you engraved in my mind
Nor lights enough to blind me from the image I wish to see with these eyes
Inside the madness of eternal love and even beyond I want to stay
I don’t want to wake up from the glory that your beautiful body tends to display.

All I ask for are a few syllables diagraming as synonyms for my fix
It is enough for me to simply see you forty feet of distance from me
Even then your radiant energy will reach and fill me up with what I need
To heal these shattered wings; which I shall use to set flight to the heavens, where all the angels live.

If pouring is ever having a need for you
I‘ll pray for there to be rainstorm
And if bleeding is dying for you
I will dive into the depths of a hailstorm
Because when you love
You sacrifice it all, even my own sake
Just to feel your breath
Breathe into me, if that what it takes.

A whirlwind of emotions alters this river when of your absence calls
And the birds they rest in their nests, as the sun sets off into an eclipse for infinity
There’s an immense need for you in this solitary room, where I signal for your soul
And in this alleged heart of mine I long to tact the heat waves of your femininity.

The Gift You Give Me

Seems like distance would open this space even wider
Seems like in our spaces we could be truer than this
Even now that I’m in, I feel like an outsider
And now up close I feel I’m the one who’s distancing.

Seems like anonymity would speak of ourselves better
Seems like in aliases we could speak so freely
And now that I know you more, I feel like you know me less
Cause I’m still keeping inside all of my secrets.

I’m so afraid that I’m not giving all that I need to give
And that just one day that would be the excuse for you to ask me to leave
I’m so afraid I’ll never be able to be all that you want me to be
And that one day you’ll come to the conclusion you’re not happy with me.

Seems like in friendship I would write better love songs
Seems like in the beginning we had more affiliation
And now that we’re physically here for one another
Things have grown stale, dealing with such confrontations.

I’m so afraid that I’ll never get rid of these poisonous feelings
And that one day you too will get sick of it
I’m so afraid that this will drive both of us even more distant
Cause all that I want is for you to be closer to me.

I’m so afraid that I will never get to be who I want to be
Somebody free of fear, free of deception, just simply free
I’m so ashamed of all of the secrets I cannot hand to you
I know that you’re here for me, but I am ashamed of the truth.

That Song on the Radio that I Wish You Would Listen To

I couldn’t sleep this morning
As much as I tried to
Thought that things were changing
Only to be disappointed
By the fear in my head
Or the truth in my life
Whatever the answers may be
I just need someone by my side.

You try to push me further
Further than I think I can go
I thought I had it all figured out
Only to be confused by my options
Don’t get ahold of this
And use it against me
Cause that’s my fear of sharing secrets
That you may use them devilry…

Don’t tell what you think
If I’m silent, let me be
Can we simply be happy…?
And pretend that pain is not here?

My expectations are higher than they show
I’m afraid of being disappointed right now, somehow
The rejection you feel I’m giving you
Is the reflection of the things you do to me too.

The evil in my head is not to be ignored
Do not feed me with anger and poisonous things
The anger that I feel inside, sometimes I cannot control
The way I’ve been hurt, you cannot simply begin to imagine.

The way that things are stale
I try to fill them with love
With the love I sometimes can’t feel
But I try to grab from above.

I try to be as open and as clear as I can humanly be
But the walls on our defense system will negate our separate needs
You will strike at me when you fear of being hurt
I will shut down at you for very same reason expressed in here.

Don’t say no to these things
Don’t say that aren’t there or here
The hand wanting to cover the sun is a futile attempt
Don’t use semantics to paraphrase what it needs to be spoken clear.

This is not a blaming game
But you have to take ahold of your share
You have to begin to see what you cannot see
And try to work with what you need in order to achieve
Whatever that it is that you want with me
Cause all I want is to be safe, and be happy
And if I ever complain of my present life in comparison
Now that’s not my intention, that’s not my reason
But that I’m going through a phase that might take a while
And all that I wish for you is to hold me still
And smile when I simply can’t
And for me to think that you will…

Choke on My

Posted: July 15, 2014 in Artsy Poetry
Tags: , , , , , ,

Poetry is an arms race…

Choke on My

I need to write something new
Say something different
It could be true or skewed
But they need to rhyme in each sentence.

Can’t talk anymore about my anger
Has written twenty thousand papers about that
Each word needs to be somber
I need to stop writing only about the bad.

Can’t curse or be disrespectful
Always must be political correct
Don’t dare to address political statements spite being sick of the bull
Crap that always comes with it.

Don’t dare to write long lines
And then mixed them with short lines
Don’t you dare to rhyme
A word with the same one.

Don’t make a typo or wrote the wrong verb on a sentence
It doesn’t matter if you did it by mistake or simply by coincidence
Either if that was the case or just done on purpose
Man, always remember to always make complete sense.

Not for children… Here in this poem I’m just playing with words.

X-Ray Version of You

A glimpse of you is gold
Only to turn to lead again
Your transmutation eyes
Invite and hypnotize my brain.

Inside the walls of my head
I can see your picture drawn
The sensation of the flesh
When in bed we go on.

The closer you get
The hotter it feels
In this cold rented room
No other movie would reel.

Oh my Elixir
My Philosopher Stone
Let us live forever
Forge your skin into my bone.

That X-Ray version of you
The one you won’t let see through
Multiple it by three
I’ll be the prefiX, (the S and the E.)

The Famous Nobody

My life is so public
My weak points exposed
Ignored by the likes
Who think this is a joke
A game I’m playing
But I couldn’t make this up
As much as I would want to
So fucking dramatic
So fucking painful
For those who give a damn
This notepad is my journal
And social medias the channels
To yell at this world
“It’s enough. Just stop it!”
“Can’t take anymore of your bullshit!”
So sick of reading
“How cool you are”
“How raw you write”
“How different you are from everyone else”
But when it comes to the boiling point;
I sit here alone
As if no one can hear my voice
As if no one can see me through
The mist of a world burning down
When the pyromaniacs started to lust for a taste
And the heat of the light became their own escapade
Us, the mitochondria, decided parade into our platinum sheltered homes
But this has become much of a prison for me
Still I’m too paranoid and too damn agoraphobic to actually set a foot outside
So I sit here, in darkness, praying to the heavens, if the may listen
Begging for the sky to crash down upon us or simply suck us up into oblivion
Whatever might be the sentiment at the moment
Whatever choices make them look faultless and wise
Immaculate and pure
Been called the best self controlled schizophrenic
But what am I to do with these voices in my head
Telling me I’m right and that they’re wrong again?
I’m the famous nobody
The one who will prove to you that not everyone is the same
Except for the rest of the world
I’m here to clarify to you how much confusion takes part of the decisions we make
Absurdly logic, naturally distorted
I’m not a genocide kind of man
Nope, for I’m more of a nihilist!
For we all deserve the wrath of the
Gods we made up in our minds
May mercy fall upon us, for we all are the lords of homicide.

Deep Down in the Muscle

And then I was told to let it go
Oh, how I heard so many words
“Instead of talking about it, just do it now”
Is like you’ve forgotten how much it hurt.

You’re inside your own bubble
And you won’t let me reach
Don’t try to reach, you won’t
Here, you have, all that you need!

Let me talk about it
As many times as I want
Not everyone heals
As fast as you obviously do.

You deny your own pain
By saying you overcame it
There’s nothing wrong with mourning
Nothing good comes out of denial!

What made me think of this?
The fact that I had to bottle it up
Let’s speak about this, let’s speak of it
Cause it’s been killing me
And it won’t ever let me free.

Deep down in the muscle
Just where all these secrets lie
I want to bleed it open
So maybe you’ll understand all I hide.